Impossible Body Type (A Kellic)

27

Has anyone watched or read Call Me By Your Name?

It's absolutely amazing and I love it. The movie is one of my all time favorites and I'm reading the book now and it's just as amazing and Just AHHHHHHH you should check it out if you haven't.

| Kellin's POV |

Once we got in Vic's room, He shut the door behind us and flopped down on the messy covers covering his bed. I didn't make a move to sit on the bed, I had this fear that it would creak under my weight and Vic would laugh, but something in the back of my mind told me that even if the bed broke under my weight Vic wouldn't laugh. I watched as he sat up and gave me a small smile before motioning me over. I hesitated and was a little reluctant to sit down but nonetheless moved over, after he motioned me over once again by patting the spot on the bed beside of him.  I took a spot on the very edge of his bed, sitting in a way that my feet would hold most of my weight.

I could tell he wanted to talk about what had happened at school, about my pathetic break down, but I knew if he did ask I would probably end up crying and being kicked out of his house for acting like a five year old. I was hoping he wouldn't say anything but after about five minutes of us just sitting in silence and me staring down at my shoes, he finally spoke.

"Kells..." He kind of trailed off, but I stopped him before he could get any further.
"I'm s-sorry." I said in a voice so quiet i wasn't even sure if he heard me at first.
"I told you before you have nothing to be sorry about. I just want you to talk to me." He said and scooted a little closer to me and carefully took one of my hands in his. My first instinct was to pull away but I found comfort in the way his hand held mine, so selfishly I let them stay intertwined. "I hated seeing you the way you were at school." He started again. "Whoever wrote that note needs a stick shoved up their ass. I don't see how they could do that to someone like you. I meant it when I said you were too beautiful to cry." I scoffed at that and Vic gave me a kind of confused look. "I mean it Kellin."

"Vic I-I get that you're trying to m-make m-me feel better but lying to me isn't the best way t-to do it." I pulled my hand free from his and got back up from the bed.
"I'm not lying."
"Vic y-you don't need to say that to try and m-make me feel better. I know very well that everything in that note is t-true. I know I'm a f-fag, I know I'm s-stupid, and most importantly I know how fat I am." I laughed nervously. "I do have to look at myself in the mirror every day ya know. I'm well aware of the reflection that stares back at m-me."
"Kellin you have no idea what you're talking about," he said getting up from the bed. "Fag is a disgusting word, you're in no way stupid, and you're most definitely not fat." He said with confidence in his voice.

I laughed again and couldn't help the way I started to lightly shake.
"H-have you even looked at me? Or are you completely blind?" I said and I felt my voice raise slightly and without me noticing my stutter seemed to slip away ever so slightly as I became more enraged at the apparent lies that Vic seemed to be trying to feed me. "H-haven't you noticed the way my clothes cling to me? Or t-the way the way chairs strain under my weight? Or how when I stand or sit I have visible rolls from all the fat that just clings to me? How about the way people seem to go around me in the hallways, almost like I have a sign attached to my back that says 'wide load coming through'! I see the stares I get when I go into stores to try and buy clothes, I hear how people laugh at me when they see what a genuine pile of crap I am! I know it all Vic! I know how people feel and I know the damn truth! So please don't try to tell me otherwise!" I finished with a heavy breath. I was once again crying as my heart pounded in my chest.

"I-I'm sorry," I said once I noticed the expression on his face. "I-i didn't mean t-to yell...I-i..."
"Kellin come here." He said and walked up to me, taking my hands in his once again, but this time leading me across the hall to the bathroom. "What do you see?" He asked, as he pulled me in front of the bathroom mirror, standing close behind me. I was dumbfounded at his question. Didn't I already just answer all of this? I kept my eyes pointed down towards the tiled floors and I shook my head.
"I-i already told you."
"What do you see?" He said in a quieter voice.

I looked up in the mirror and choked back a sob as I looked at my reflection. I shook my head violently and turned around to face Vic. I couldn't do this. My arms wrapped around myself tightly and I stared up into his deep brown eyes, noticing them brimming with tears.
"I-I can't."
"Well do you wanna know what I see?" He said and I shook my head no but he didn't really seem to care.

"I see a boy, who is perfect and beautiful in every way. I don't understand how you can't see that Kellin. I don't know who is responsible for warping how you see yourself but I know one thing," he said as he brushed a piece of hair behind my hair. "I intend to change that. I want you to see how beautiful you are."
"V-Vic I-" But I didn't get a chance to say anything because Vic was softly pressing his lips to mine.