Impossible Body Type (A Kellic)

29

Hey guys! I know it's been forever and I'm so sorry but if you're reading this thanks for sticking around. This chapter isn't the best but I have been trying to write it for some time now and it's okay? Maybe who knows lol but anyway I'm hoping to start writing some more. I know I say that lot but I do mean it I've just been in a very long writing funk and I haven't had motivation to write in a very very long time. But hopefully over spring break I can get some of my motivation back and hopefully get some more chapters out to you guys!

Now as said before this isn't the best chapter but it's kinda where I need it to be. Another thing I'm sure I've already said this before busy since it's been so long since I've updated I'll just put a little reminder here: this whole book has a trigger warning and contains some sensitive content. Please don't read if you feel uncomfortable and if you've come to a chapter you can't read in full but still want to continue the story feel free to send me a message and I can summarize all the important parts and such!

Anyway i appreciate you guys who are still reading it means the world to me💕

I hope all you lovelies have a wonderful day/night and I wish you the absolute best🥰

| Kellin's POV |

I shoveled another bite of the pasta into my mouth and then went for another only to be met by an empty plate. My eyes widened and I realized what I had done. I sat my fork down quickly beside my plate and put my hands in my lap. My eyes stayed trained on the plate. How could I let myself do that? I didn't even know what all was in the pasta. I didn't know the calories or the portion sizes. All I knew was that it was a mistake.

I shouldn't have let myself eat as much as I did. It was as if I could already feel the extra pounds it would add to my already overweight frame.
"Kellin hun would you like some more?" I looked up to see Vic's mom smiling at me. "There's plenty more and it seems you enjoyed it!"
I shook my head.
"No t-thank you." I said in a small voice.
"Okay hun. I'm going to put the leftovers up now so if you want any more help yourself." And with that she collected her plate, as well as mine, and walked into the kitchen.

I glanced over at Vic to still see him eating. He hadn't even finished half of his plate yet. My heart sank. He probably thinks I'm a pig now. I watched as he twirled the creamy pasta around his fork and my stomach churned. I ate that. I ate a whole plate full of that stuff. I felt myself grip my thighs under the table. This wasn't good. How could I let myself get out of control? I said one bite. One bite to make sure I wasn't being rude, but I couldn't help myself.

I felt tears starting to prick at my eyes and I knew I had to get out of this room before I broke down. I stood up slowly from my chair.
"You okay Kellin?" I heard Vic ask and I just nodded my head.
"B-bathroom." I barely mumbled out and started towards the stairs. I basically ran up the steps and once I got to the bathroom I shut the door and slid down to the floor. I clutched my arms around my stomach hard and felt my fingers dig into the skin under my shirt.

I couldn't stop the tears that started to fall down my face and I couldn't help the way my breathing came out in ragged patterns.
"Y-you're s-stupid." I whispered to myself. "S-so so stupid." I clutched at myself harder and shook my head. This is what always happened. I was just a fat piece of shit who couldn't control myself around something as simple as pasta. My head whirled with thoughts and my fingers clutched even harder.

I opened my eyes and noticed the toilet a few feet away from me. An idea ran through my brain. I hadn't done it in years but wasn't it necessary right now? I slowly crawled over to the toilet and kneeled on my knees. I hated this. It was always my least favorite part, that's why I never really did it. I couldn't stand throwing up, but desperate times called for desperate measures, right?"

I took a couple deep breaths and then stuck two of my fingers down my throat. It took a couple tries but finally I was releasing the contents of my stomach into the white toilet bowl. I felt relief wash over me the second it was over. I knew it wasn't all gone so I took a couple more breaths before leaving back over the toilet, but before I could do anything more there was a knock at the door.

"Kellin? Are you okay?" I heard Vic say and then the door began to open. I scrambled to my feet and tried to stop him from coming in but I was too late because he was already halfway in the door. Vic pushed himself the rest of the way in and I stood right in front of him.
"What's wrong?" He said with a worried look. "You're crying." His hand came up and he gently brushed it against my cheek, wiping away tears that I didn't know were still there.
"I-I'm fine." I said and backed up from him some. I looked behind me at the toilet and then back at Vic. I had to keep him from seeing.

I took a couple more steps back and quickly shut the lid before sitting down on it. Vic gave me a look before coming over and crouching down in front of me.
"What's up Kells?"
"I-I'm fine." I told him again before wrapping my arms around myself. He gave me a disheartened look before standing up and reaching out for my hand. "Come on lets go hang out in my room."
"Umm," I started knowing I should probably finish what I started. "G-go ahead and I-I'll b-be there in a m-minute."

He gave me a small, sort of sad smile before nodding his head and turning to leave. Once the door shut behind him I gave him a couple of seconds to walk away before I kneeled down in front of the toilet again.