all of the faces | 2019

➴ • ilovethedestructivekind:five

' i used to say i wanna die before i'm old, but because of you i might think twice. '

this was different. because this never broke.
this just grew. it evolved. into something else.
nothing new. just discovering different roots
and this 'new' path that we had been already
on. this was a love that is still a love, it just
changed in my mind. potential lover, to
best friend, to my younger brother that tramples
over my patience like an elephant.

another half, a better half, the missing piece to
my soul. a key, a stone, a brick, a hand on my
shoulder. in a daze, we discovered that
soulmates don't always have to be lovers.
that soulmates could be whatever we wanted
it to be, because the definition is free from
forms and templates. we hold the definition,
forming it to ourselves.

i found love, in the strangest of places, in a
dark room that i never noticed. i found love
not in a second, but slowly over time and it
clouded over me before i knew it was mine.
i found love in a place so dark, so scary, so
heartless, you'd be surprised. i found love
in a place so deep, so far, so shallow, so blue
that when my bloodied heart mixed it turned
into a different shade that i cannot name.

i found love, whilst searching for it, but i found
a love i wasn't looking for. a love so warm
that i don't mind, i really don't mind being held
once in a while, not by his arms but by his smile.

these feelings so weirdly in place, so sudden
this change, it felt as though it had to be
something that had already been named.
but this love, this feeling of warmth, is not a lover
scorned or a friend's heart, it a piece of my soul
returned to me. a piece of me.

so broken and crooked, but golden lined,
oh what a surprise, what a surprise, what
a surprise you're now side by side.

10062019