Happiness, finally? (...going on)

Phobia

The night is filled with colorful nights, makes the night even more sad not with Daniel. Jihoon insisted to go to the market night with me, so I just thought why not.

We walked side by side. "Can you wait here for me?" Jihoon asked. I just nod and found a wooden bench which probably indicates a place to sit. As I was scrolling to Instagram, something caught my eye.

A couple of blue eyes, bright one was looking at me straight in the eyes. I tried to focus on the face, but I can't see any, the lights reflect my sight. As I was focusing, the eyes were saying something, "You aren't supposed to be here, you aren't supposed to be here,..." and repeat all over again.

The voice of it now sounds like an alien coming to town. My ear felt like a glitch sound from a broken computer. I cupped my ears, I can feel it's bleeding. Just then, Jihoon came and hugged me. I didn't realise I was crying earlier. Jihoon brought me to an empty place not far from the night market.

"Ji Eun, are you okay?" his words screeching in my head that it made me dizzy somehow. Again, I felt a big amount of pressure in my head, it's like someone was squeezing it so hard like a sponge. I let out the biggest scream of pain before everything went pitch black.

The wind makes my hair crushed to my face. When my vision's finally cleared up, I can see hundreds, even thousands of dead bodies before me. All dead. They were all whispering, even with their eyes shut and pale faces on, in a language I clearly don't understand. I urged myself to hear clearly, but the inside of me told not to.

Then suddenly, the whispers got louder that revealed a huge-sized man beside me with his eyes torn out, mouth to above his eye, he was very tall that his head touched the ceiling. His saliva is falling, soon turned into blood. I tried to scream but I can't.

"Honey, are you okay?" I woke up to see my mom, dad and brother in front of me, looking worried. Maybe I get the chance to scream, just not in my dream. It was a fucking horrific dream.

"What happened when you were with Jihoon last night, hun?" mom asked with curiosity in her tone. Let's just not think they'd get the wrong idea of us hanging out. I told her that we were just catching up some good old days in Australia.

"Let's go to the therapist, shall we?", back at it again. Mom thought I was just being paranoid for seeing things. It turns out that I was rapidly screaming everytime I woke up, but I wasn't filly awaken yet. It's like half-waking up from your nightmare.

I'm just the daughter who follows everything her parents asked, so I was dragged happily to Mrs. Seo, the therapist who's been taking care of me since the incident.

"Ji Eun-shi,"

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you answering me? Is it the same girl you see?"

I was unfortunately having a claustrophobia, since I was eight years old. I saw a girl, a young girl who was about my age wanted to play with me. But as I get closer to her, she laughed so hard but fading away from me. I tried to reach for her hand, as she was offering earlier but it was like there's a barrier that keeps me away from her.

I don't know why but I didn't actually mind why she laughed at me hysterically. Just then, a black van approached and a man in mask covered my mouth with a black towel and the next thing I know, I was trapped in a small room, no lights at all, no windows, just plain black wall.

I wished I was that smart to scream, but I didn't. Instead, I just froze there, my mind was so blank, I don't know what's gonna happen to me and I'm not curious to know. All I can think of is, why am I here.

I was crying again thinking back of the past. The therapist always gave me prescribed pills, but nothing works. It has been ten years, and I'm still afraid of going into elevators nor room alone. I tried to overcome all those but the inside me tells me the otherwise, there comes my panic attack.

When I left the therapist room, I intertwined my hands with my dad and resting my head on his shoulder. Thinking back at yesterday's incident, why can't I just tell Jihoon and let him help me to solve things out?

"Honey, are you feeling okay?" I just nod and smiled at my mom. As we arrived to my house, I'm surprised to see Jihoon with helium balloons covering him. Cute. "Byeo, what are you doing here" I approached and hugged him, on purpose.