Changes

Chapter 2

I couldn't come clean. If I told them what I did they'd try to stop me from doing it again. They wouldn't understand the reasons behind my tree and why I like to sit there. I ran to the bathroom because I could tell I was about to vomit. Cecilia followed and rubbed my back as I threw up. "It's okay Ro, you don't have to tell us."

"I-I-I.... C-can't... b-breathe...." I could barely get the words out. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. My lungs felt like they were filled with fire and panic took over my body. I began holding my breath trying to make the pain go away. Ashen picked me up and just stood and held me. I could tell Cecilia was still sitting on the floor probably flicking his ankles because she wanted to be the one to comfort me. " OUCH YOU BITCH!" Ashen screamed and set me down, spinning around.

"Hehe" Cecilia grinned her devilish grin.

"WHY DID YOU PINCH ME?"

"Who? Me? I would neverrrrrrr."

"That's it." Ashen grabbed Cecilia as she started screaming.

"PUT ME DOWN SHITHEAD!"

"I will." Ashen smirked. He carried her out into the living room. "Ro please open the door." I did, knowing what he was gonna do. I followed him as he walked across my yard to my dock. He walked to the end with her still screaming for him to put her down. "YEET!" He tossed her in the lake as she let out an ear piercing screech. I giggled and shoved Ashen off the dock.

"ALL HAIL KING RORY BITCHES!" I screamed while doing my little happy dance.

"Oh it's on hoes." Ashen grabbed the edge of the dock and pull himself up. I screamed and ran down the dock but my short legs were not able to outrun him. He grabbed me and brought me back to the edge of the dock. "YEET!" he yelled as he tossed me even further than Cecilia.

The water fight went on for thirty more minutes. I was the ultimate champion due to my ability to cling to others, making me hard to push or throw. We walked back to the house and I gave Cecilia a pair of clean clothes to change into. None of my clothes would fit Ashen though so he had to wrap a towel around his waist until his clothes were dry. I made Cecilia a bowl of frosted flakes because that was her favorite cereal and threw an apple at Ashen. I don't like to eat breakfast so I just drank my coffee. Suddenly I felt myself spiral again. I bit the sides of my mouth trying to control my anger but it did not work. I stood up and punched the wall, anger taking control of my whole body. "R-" Ashen started but I turned at glared at him.

"Don't fucking say anything." I stormed off into the basement, locking myself in my bathroom again. I slammed my fists on the ground, only taking breaks to punch the wall. Every fight the trio ever had replayed in my head causing me to lash out. I don't even know what caused this anger but I knew I was outraged. I stopped my hitting and stood up. I let out one of the loudest screams I could before collapsing on the ground. I started sobbing again. It hurt so bad. What was wrong with me? What's my problem? I continued screaming and sobbing into the floor out of frustration.

I hear a knock on the door and opened it. Cecilia was holding out a pillow. I took it and buried my face into it before starting to scream again. The other two just watched as I screamed out all my troubles. After thirty more minutes of freaking out I passed out. When I woke up both Ashen and Cecilia were gone but left a goodbye note saying they both had to go home before their family got found out they were gone and got mad. I felt like absolute shit.

I had no motivation. I couldn't get up so I decided to lay in bed for the rest of the day. I had no reason to feel the way I did. I just felt like absolute shit. I was such a mess. I hate myself so much. I will never be good enough. I will never be normal. I will never be okay. I just want to die. I don't want to breathe anymore. I don't want to feel anymore. I just want it over. Someone please kill me.... Please.... I'll do anything...... Just fucking kill me already.

I finally got enough energy to get up so I walked in front of my full body mirror. I hated what I saw. I was not thin, I was very very chubby. I had hella feminine curves which only made it harder to look even slightly manly. I did not have very big boobs but they were big enough to always be noticeable. I hated my chest so much. I had naturally tan skin which was one of the only things I actually didn't hate. I had a chubby round head with a face covered in acne. My eyes were bright blue and honestly beautiful (another feature I liked). I couldn't stand looking at myself.

I grabbed another pair of scissors and began marking my chest. I didn't want to look like this. But I realized I can't get rid of my chest by cutting myself. I put the scissors down and looked one last time in the mirror. One more thing I liked about myself was my long blue hair. Sure the long hair made me look more feminine but I always thought it looked nice. I was also very happy with the color. I decided to lay back down in bed. I turned all the lights off and plopped onto my silver comforter. I grabbed my phone and opened instagram. I went into the explore section and started looking at Steven Universe posts until I got bored and moved onto animal posts. After I got bored of that I watched random videos which always cheers me up. I suddenly felt happy and energetic.

I opened my DMs and saw i had three new texts and five requests. I could never bring myself to answer any. I had a few thousand followers though I don't really know how I got them. I don't really deserve them. A lot of them comment on all of my posts, especially ones with depressing rants. I don't show it nearly enough but my followers mean a lot to me. I open my last text to Ashen. I decided to look at some of our last conversations. He was so sweet. I smiled like a dork and squealed before I decided to text him. Come over. He didn't reply for five minutes.

Right now?

Yes right now!

Why? Is something wrong? Are you okay?

Im okay, dw

Then why do I need to come over?

Code F

Omw

;)

I knew that'd work. Ten minutes later my bedroom door opened. I stopped my pacing, looking at the tall figure that was closing my door. He grabbed me and pulled me into him, kissing me deeply. "Good to see you too." I said with a smirk.