Changes

Chapter 10

"Rory? You okay? Rory?" I heard Bean's voice although it was hard to process. My brain feels so foggy and weird. What just happened? I know I was with Bean but I don't remember what we've been doing. Did I black out? "Rory?"

"Hey, sorry, What's going on?" I didn't know what to say. I feel so confused. I don't feel like I or anything else is real. It's like I'm looking through some foggy goggles.

"Uh you kinda just stared off in a daze and I didn't know what to do." I almost wish I had a video of myself so I could see that.

"Oh um I'm just really tired. I haven't slept in awhile, my body must have shut down for a bit." It had to just be because I'm tired.

"You sure? It looked like you were having a flashback or dissociating or something." Flashbacks? I've been through some shit but it could never be as bad as the shit many others go through. I don't have enough trauma to have PTSD. but dissociation? I've heard of it before and I know some people do it in stressful situations. Hanging out with Bean isn't that stressful. What is wrong with me? I think I'm going insane.

"No no no I'm sure I'm just overly exhausted." I'm just tired. I have to be just tired.

"Hmmm okay. You were also acting really strange before that happened. You were a lot less anxious and more hyped. You also used a hand sign that you never use. Not going to lie it was quite interesting." Bean spoke very calmly but my attempts to copy them have not worked.

"Weirdddddd..... Moving on. How have you been?" I used my curiosity to make it seem like what happened was no big deal.

"I've been existing to say the least. Life's been complicated. I just broke up with my ex and it hurts but hanging out with you makes me happy. How have you been?"

"I've.... I've been fine." How do I talk to them? My life has been miserable these past days. How do I make Bean happy? They stopped talking to me awhile ago. I thought they hated me. A part of me feels relieved at this information.

"You sure? I uh heard what happened with Ashen. Have you been talking to him?"

"I haven't talked to him in about five days. I plan on maybe trying to talk to him again after a week has passed. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do....." The darkness is coming over me again. I just want to cry on the floor with the company of my favorite blade. Suddenly I snap out of the thoughts as I feel Bean's arms around me.

"It's okay Rory. He doesn't deserve you. I get that you love him but I promise he's not worth your time. You'll be okay." I hold back my tears as I think of all the future plans I have involving him. Will I ever be okay?

"Thank you Bean. You wanna go for a bike ride?" We love a good change of subject. Hopefully biking helps my mood like it normally does.