I need it‼️

Sentence fill of regret‼️

loni‼️
The pass week I've been really sluggish. I don't have the light to brighten my day. Yes I miss Isreal a lot a lot a lot but it was starting to get really toxic with everything I have going on and the unnecessary things we argue about. I haven't heard from him but I guess he's just respecting my wishes and staying away for the time being. With going to work everyday now I can't help but to look at his house and notice his car hasn't moved it crooked spot on the neighbors curb. I worried as an instinct.
(523)-379-5893 calling.... (made up number)
hello?
them: yea, this is izzy cousin ace
me: Oh hey! wassup is everything ok?
Ace: thats the thing we don't know nobody has heard from Izzy in a week and we are worried have you heard from him?
me: ummm no but I can go check on him I have a key
Ace: yea do that and hit me back
me: ok bye
* Hangs up*
I worried and sped to Izzy house even though it was only six houses down. I walked in and couldn't believe my eyes. Everything was destroyed completely. If it wasn't broke it was opened or flipped. "Izzy are you here?" I yelled walked in the living room and dropping to my knees. I seen a bloody sleep isreal on the floor with at least 13 empty bottles around him.
"come on Izzy get up,come baby sit up for me" I said sitting him up on the wall and sat next to me.
"I haven't done it in two days I didn't mean to do it Im sorry" He said sluggishly laying on my lap. I had no idea what he was talking about I just rubbed his back and listened.
"Laloni Im really sorry please don't send me back to rehab I promise i wont do it again." He said crying.
"you relapsed but on what Isreal talk to me." I said rubbing his dreads.
" Im a alcoholic" he said lowly
"are you sober right now?" I asked and he nodded.
" Good get up and lets go"
"you're taking me to rehab aren't you"
"No come here" I said hugging him really tight. I didn't know he battled an addiction. Yes he hurt me but it's evident I hurt him more which was not my intentions. I just wanted some space from the toxicity. I grabbed his hand and lead him through the mess and upstairs to his clean room. "Get in the shower get the liquor smell off you and we will talk when you get out." He nodded and walked in the bathroom. I went in his closet and got him comfortable clothes and went downstairs to start cleaning up all the broken glass. I turned the couches back how they were supposed to be. Cleaned up the food on the floor in the kitchen and closed all the cabinets. Swept and Vacuumed. Fixed the crooked pictures. And was done in about 45 minutes. I went upstairs to check on Izzy. I went in the bathroom to see Izzy still in the shower. "Hey you okay in here?"
"I can't get my back my hands hurt" He said lowly but I could still hear him. I pulled back the curtain and he covered his junk which made me feel weird because I seen it already and it's mine well at least it was. I washed his back and rung out his rag. He got out and wrapped a towel around him."Do you want me to bandage your hands up?" I asked him.
"You can stop you're only doing all of this because you feel like you caused this..." He said looking at me in my eyes with hate.
"No im not .. Im doing this because I care for you.... Im doing this because I love you and that's not going to stop." I said but he looked away. I turned his face back towards me. "So Can I bandage your hands or no?" I asked again. He just nodded. I grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink. I started cleaning his cuts and he winched in pain. "Im sorry" I said looking in his eyes and continued to put gauze and wrapping it with bandage tape. and did the same on the other hand. "Ok Im done go get dressed your clothes are on the bed." I said and he walked out the bathroom. I cleaned up the bandage stuff in the bathroom. I walked out to find him laying in his bed watching TV. "Umm I guess I'll head home now. I cleaned everything downstairs so it's safe to go down there if you want." I got no answer so I started to walk out. "Laloni" "Yea?" "Stay with me please I wanna talk" He said not looking at me. I took off my shoes and laid in the bed next to him. He adjusted his self and laid on my stomach. I automatically started playing in his dreads. " When was the last time you really slept or ate?" I asked. "That night I ate and I don't know about sleeping." he said quietly. "Isreal go to sleep and when you wake up I will make you something to eat." I said seriously
"No we are going to talk" He in his demanding way. "You hate me dont you" I said. " There's nothing to hate you for I just wanna know what caused you to do it." He said. "I heard what you was bout to say when one of your boys said I wanted in. I was hurt because I felt like after all I opened up to you about and it was fuck me. It was starting to get toxic with Ihop and everything before that. I just wanted space I didn't mean what I said and I regret it everyday after I said it." I said truthfully. "Laloni I wanna be with you ... hell I wanna marry you but you run from all you problems it never fails and it's tiring. Hearing the words I can't do this anymore send my world crashing down again and I didn't know how to handle it and I know you weren't your self either. We around each other so much our bodies can't do certain things without the other. I can't sleep without you. I didn't mean what I was gonna say that's why i stopped myself. Im so use to reacting towards females like that with them but i can't do that with you because you're different." He said still not looking at me. I silently cried. I hurt him. " I hurt you that was never my intentions. I was talking in the heat of the moment. I wanna be with you. I forgive you I just hope you can do the same" I said wiping my tears. " you wanna be with me but who was that nigga in your driveway around the time you get home from work." He said sounding mad. " What are you talking about nobody has been near my house since you left shit im bearly there" I said confused. He chuckled. " Better not be" " You got jokes n since you wanna be with me why you cover your dick when I opened the curtain." I asked seriously. " Because you not my girl" He said blankly. I nodded "fair enough" I said hurt as fuck but I did break up with him. "Thank you" he said. "For what?" I said confused. "Being there for me and not taking me back to rehab... I love you" He said finally looking up at me. "Thats my job and I wouldn't do that because you can fight this on your own and I will always be there for you weather we together or not." He smirked and kissed me. I pulled back. "Isreal you cant do that if we not together thats sending mixed messages." I said as he laid his head back down. "Woman shut up... I forgive you and we are together as long as I say we are and you better not try to leave me again or imma break my foot so far up yo ass you gon feel it touching your brain." He said kissing me again and making me laugh. He laid down.
"I love you ❤️" We said at the same time.

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