Sex Metal Barbie // lashton

chapter two

He smiled as he held his microphone to his mouth, his eyes running over the seated fans in the room, the ones waiting outside in the rain, and the interviewer who was in a heated discussion about drunk stories with Michael. He let his eyes fall on the hardwood floor and he swallowed thickly as the topic of relationships came up from a fan tweet, wondering if he should say he and his partner broke up or if he should just keep quiet on the topic. He was normally very talkative, so he'd come off as worrying if he didn't speak, but what was he to say without their management getting upset? What was there to say without saying too much about his private life or too little to seem useless?

"Relationships on the road are hard." Calum spoke and Ashton chewed on his bottom lip as his skin crawled. "There's no stability."

Michael agreed. "It's hard but it's what we do, ya'know? Everything has it's downside, and as much as making music and performing means to us it sometimes gets too much. Sometimes our relationships don't work out because of it."

"Is that why most of these fan questions have to do with..." She motioned to Ashton and he smiled awkwardly as he nodded his head.

"Yeah..." He trailed off. "I um just recently had to break up with my ex because of personal reasons, most-most being the whole distance thing that was hard to get past. It's not ideal for someone to handle, and it's a lot to ask to have someone wait for you."

She nodded and Ashton forced a smile as he felt Calum's eyes on him. He met his gaze and then smiled before tugging on the sleeves of his sweatshirt and looking at the interviewer, who's body language showed the was uncomfortable sitting so close beside him. Her legs were pointed in his opposite direction, and her eyes very rarely crossed his person as she spoke to the band collectively. They lingered on his band mates, and she always fiddled her cards when he decided to open his mouth to give his own two cents and answers.

Was he really that bad? Did the rumors frighten her that much?

A part of him doesn't blame her for being afraid. He would be too.

He just wanted to disappear from the room. He wanted to fade away into nothing where no one can find him, but he couldn't. He couldn't do a lot of things he's found.

And his suspicions were correct when the interview ended only a few minutes later and she hugged the other two but merely shook his hand with a limp grip. He smiled and then shoved his hands into his pockets immediately after giving a wave to their fans. He looked away and then followed his best friends from the building.

"It's kind of disrespectful to bring up ex's, don't you think?" Michael asked as they left the room. "Especially when everyone and their moms know you just went through a nasty break up."

Calum sighed. "They want people to watch so they need to ask the questions everyone's wondering. It'll blow over soon, don't worry, buddy."

Ashton picked up his umbrella and then opened it when they got outside. "I'll live." He told them before holding the medium sized cover over his friends' heads. "Don't worry about it."

"She was kind of rude, actually. Did you see how she just..." The pink haired guitarist commented as he turned to look at Ashton. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah-Yeah, I'm fine." He replied loudly as their bodyguards pushed fans away from them.

"Should we stop for pictures?"

"It's raining and you're wearing a short sleeved shirt. You'll get sick, so it's best if we don't." Ashton reminded his youngest friend as he looked out to the wave of people being kept in line by a row of guards. "Go on."

He pushed his wet curls from his face and then watched as his friends got into the car. He lifted the seats for a towel and then put it on the seat before he sat down as well. He shut the umbrella then closed the door as he heard his friends' seatbelts click.

"You don't have to pretend you're alright." He heard Calum say as he looked out the window. "We know you're not. You can talk to us."

He didn't reply. He just fished his bluetooth headphones out of the basket on his door and then slipped them on. He knew his friends were right, and that's why it hurt so much when he turned his phone on and then synced the two devices together.

He couldn't bring himself to talk about his personal life to his friends, no matter how long they've been with one another and how far they go stuck in a bus with each other. There was something that held him back from letting himself show his most intimate and personal baggage to the two he knew would have his back despite whatever happens. His heart was too fragile to let himself be vulnerable. His brain stopped him from muttering something to ever ask them for help with his own issues.

He wants to think it's just because his past doesn't matter anymore, but he knew it wasn't that. His past is probably why he's so against sharing, but he wanted to push that thought away. He didn't want to think that he's more messed up than he initially thought.

He felt his headphones move slightly and he turned around just to face a pair of emerald eyes. "We love you, Ash." Michael told him and he smiled.

He believed them. He loved them too, but he wasn't opening up. He just wasn't ready to.

So he slipped his headphones back on and then pushes the shuffle button on his playlist, deciding that his friends knew he loved them and he would open up when he was ready. Whenever that was.