India's pov
I reminisced about what happened last night as his arm was tightly wrapped around my waist. Things were still tense. It was like I loved him and he loved me but he was scared that I would do him like I did.
I turned over as I faced him. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Yet his eyebrows were still furrowed as if even in his sleep he wasn't happy. I sighed. He wasn't happy because I had hurt him. I scooter closer to him putting my head on his chest as I listened to his heartbeat. A rhythm that I could never get tired of. How dare I tell him that he should die. What if it happened? I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself so I slowly moved myself from his arm and sat on the floor on my knees. I don't think I can remember the last time I prayed and that was bad.
I took a deep breath my back facing Jahseh as I faced the white wall and closed my eyes as I prayed.
"Hi god. I um I've done things that I probably should ask forgiveness for. I've lied, I've wished upon others things that I would never wish upon myself. Please don't punish that person for what I said. I was angry and I didn't know that what I said was wrong at the moment. Thank you for watching over my mother. Thank you for watching over me. But please I am here to take those words back. I don't want Jahseh to die. If he does then I'd have to commit another sin and kill my self. He is my happiness and I need him. I need him god. So please, forgive me. Amen".
I slumped on the ground. "Why didn't you say that all to me yesterday" a voice said. "Because yesterday I wanted to take a gun and shoot my self. Yesterday I went looking for you and I didn't find you".
"You did. I was the guy talking to you on the bench. I just didn't say anything because I didn't think I was ready to see you" he whispered.
I looked at him. "Jah I don't want you to die. You kidnapping me was the happiest part of my life". I whispered. He roughly wiped away a tear that had fallen from his own eyes. I knew he hated crying.
I kneeled down in front of him and he looked away. "I tried to move on. But I couldn't. Remember when I first met you. When I dropped my ice cream." I said looking at him as tears fell down his eyes. I wiped my own tears as I remembered the day.
Flashback
5 year old India was excited because her mother had given her money for ice cream. This was rare especially when her dad never wanted her mother to make India feel special. Her father always wanted a son. So having India made him angry and he didn't want anything to do with her.
But besides that India was innocent and only thought her father was having bad days. So she tippy toed to the truck as she saw a hello kitty ice cream that caught her eye. "Hello young lady " the man said cheerfully. "Hi mister can I have a hello kitty ice cream"
Meanwhile the man smiled and was getting her the Ice cream a 6 year old Jahseh waited patiently behind her. All he wanted was a chocolate sundae. When she has finished she began walking home only to get pushed down by her father as she stomped on her ice cream. She gasped looking at the mess on the sidewalk. "Let's go!" Her dad yelled but she ran he opposite way hiding in the back of a building.
Jahseh had seen this and asked the man for another hello kitty ice cream. Then he followed her to see her crying on a bench. "Here little girl" he said placing the ice cream on her overall pants. She looked up from wet eyelashes.
"Thank you" She said smiling weakly. Jahseh smiled back. "Your welcome. I don't want anyone to hurt you" He said innocently. She smiled at him as they ate their summer treats in silence.
"" you made my summer special" I said as I looked up at him. "The point is Jah you have always been there for me and I was selfish". I said. He looked at me. "I love you" He said. " I love you too" I said. He intertwined our fingers. "I wanna die with you " he whispered. I played with his dreads. "I wouldn't want to with anybody else " I whispered leaning on his chest.
"Jah. I have something to tell you" I whispered. He looked up.
"Yes?"
I thought about how to tell him. We have had sex when he kidnapped me. No doubt. Three weeks ago I had found out that I was pregnant. That's why my mom always pressured me to Find him because she knew he would want to know.
"What is it babygirl " he said worried.
"Jahseh I'm pregnant " I said looking at him. His eyes widened. I was scared to see his reaction.
He cracked a smile. "Our baby" he whispered touching my stomach. I sighed and smiled.
I placed my hand over his. "Yes our baby. And guess what, I would never want to have a baby with anyone else but you". I said.
