Amentia - K.NJ.

Eight

Hoseok stood in front of me, shaking his arms loosely. "Do this."

I did as he said. I could suddenly feel the tenseness within my arms fade away. My heart was still on standby, though. I could feel my toes curling into my rundown sneakers, still on edge. My lungs were sore from knocking the breath out of myself, my mind blank, my ears very faintly ringing. I was still in shock.

Hoseok looked at me, giving a hopeful smile. "Feeling better?"

"I just want the kids," I breathed, reaching my shaken out hands to the top of my head, pushing them across. It felt like my eyeballs were vibrating. 

"They'll be here soon. You need to recover, though."

"I don't want them to get hurt," I murmured. I looked at Hoseok, staring at him with somewhat of a plead in my eyes. "I just want my babies to hold. I don't want some barbaric maniacs getting their hands on my children."

"Hey, it's all good," he said. He reached over, grabbing my shoulders. He gave them a soft squeeze. "Tae's got them. He's not going to let them get hurt. He loves them just as much as Namjoon and you. Plus, he would go berserk if someone touched either one."

He had a point. Taehyung was just as protective for the kids as Namjoon or I. 

Yoongi suddenly came into view. Hoseok's hands dropped to his sides, looking at Yoongi with a smile. Yoongi had his eyes plastered on me, completely serious.

"What's the name of the kid that came here?" he asked, nodding in the direction of where he came. 

It took me a few moments to process what he was saying. I kept seeing Jinkyong and Insu in my mind. "Jeon Jungkook."

"Okay, thanks," he said, giving a nod. I watched as he looked over me, studying my behavior. "Hey, how you holding up?"

"I just want to see the kids," I said for the millionth time. 

Hoseok turned to him, and murmured, "She's recovering from shock. I think with her ambush of being alone without any of us has taken a toll on her mind."

Yoongi gave a slow nod, thinking. "Makes sense. We've all been there." He turned to me, turning his head to the side. "Do you want me to get Namjoon? He may be able to help."

I shook my head frantically. "No, please don't. I know if he comes to comfort me, I'll break down in tears. I can't cry yet. Not until later."

"I won't tell him then," Yoongi said, nodding. I could see him turning up his mouth to a reassuring smile. "Just take the rest of the day off. Let yourself cool down. You need it."

"Then what do I do all day?" I murmured.

"We could have Jimin or one of us take the day off with you," Hoseok said with a smile. Dimples showed up on his cheeks. "They could keep you company or watch the kids if you would like."

The words came out of my mouth before they could form in my head. "What about Tae?"

Yoongi and Hoseok looked a bit confused. I automatically fixed my words.

"He's really good with the kids, especially with Jinkyong. He's really the only one she listens to," I said with a small, forced smile. "I just kind of want him keep Jinkyong corralled."

Yoongi gave a nod in agreement. He knew what kind of magic spell he had over Jinkyong. "Sorry, but we need him for the time being. Once he gets back, we may have to use him for that reporter you picked up."

It took me a second to think. They would have to use Taehyung for the reporter? Would they have to be so harsh on the guy that didn't do anything wrong? I didn't know what they were going to do with him(probably kill him on sight), but I was a bit scared. He might have had a girlfriend or friends. What would they do? Go looking for him? That seemed too risky.

I pursed my lips together, sucking in a deep breath. I wasn't going to get into this drama. I already killed that girl the night before. I didn't want to kill another person so soon. Plus, I was too shaken up about what had just happened about an hour ago.

"Do what you need to do," I murmured, shoving my hands into my sweatshirt's pockets. "Just fill me in on what's happening next."

~~~~~

I laid there in bed, staring at the wall. It was about eleven at night, the kids fast asleep in their room. I hadn't seen Namjoon since the shooting. He was busy, not having time to come see me. I felt lonely without him, the bed seeming cold like all the other nights. I was just grateful that he didn't bother with other girls or was an addict. He was just busy with work.

Thinking through the day as I laid there, I kept seeing Insu's face in my mind. He stared at me the whole day, always having some sort of physical touch. He wouldn't leave my side as the hours of the day passed. I was starting to understand that something was wrong with me that day.

I curled myself into a ball on the mattress, my body a bit cold. I sucked in a shaky breath, letting my eyes settle to a close as I breathed out. I just needed sleep. That's all I needed to clear my head. I didn't need others to keep me close and hold me. I just needed sleep.

I drifted off at some point. Little spurts of dreams faded in and out. I could see all these things. They were sad and happy. I remembered my mother kicking me out of the house. My dad had moved out years ago. I remembered standing on the side of the street with all the things that I needed, Insu in my arms as I stared at my now-mother's house with tears coming down my face, Jinkyong in my stomach.

The next spurt of a dream was when Jinkyong was born. I could still remember the smile on Namjoon's face, the both of us still young, just fresh out of high school, probably two weeks into that summer after graduation. I could still hear her little cries, her little hands pawing at me. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

I didn't understand if I was dreaming or not, but a pair of arms wrapped around me, pulling my back against a warm, sturdy chest. A face buried into the back of my neck, a sigh that was warm radiating across my skin. I could feel some form of happiness and protection rise within me.

"I'm sorry I was out so late." The voice was tired with sleep, low with care. It was Namjoon, his large hands too familiar as it held my waist. "I came back to see if you were okay. I know you've had a rough day. Hoseok told me."

I hummed, it coming out in a croak from sleep. My hand drifted down to Namjoon's arm, grabbing it gently. I just wanted to be warm, to be held for once. I missed this too much. I felt like there hadn't been a moment like this in a week.

"I'll let you sleep now," Namjoon said gently, placing a soft kiss against the bottom of my neck. "Have a good night, Y/N. I love you to the center of the Earth and back."