heathers texting shitpost

when is it too late to abort

veronicasoysauce: guys I need help jason went crazy

queenbheather: finally

heatherpeasant1: whadd he do this time

usethatcootertostopashooter: using first names are we now?

veronicasoysauce: you're a fucking psychopath!

usethatcootertostopashooter: it's not my fault veronica!

mart: did you hurt my child!?

usethatcootertostopashooter: noo i only hurt my health

veronicasoysauce: you need to pick jason!

veronicasoysauce: me?

veronicasoysauce: or the pink lemonade?!

heatherpeasant2: HA THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?

heatherpeasant2: I thought he blew up a school or sum shit but this is way better

usethatcootertostopashooter: veronica.....

usethatcootertostopashooter: you know I love you both...

veronicasoysauce: then fucking pick jason!!!

queenbheather: how'd this even happen anyway? I thought jesse james only fucks slushies?

veronicasoysauce: we were at 7/11 and I let him have a sip of my lemonade and you know what this bastard says!?

veronicasoysauce: "I just creamed my trousers"

heatherpeasant2: when is it too late to abort

heatherpeasant2: wait this isn't google

usethatcootertostopashooter: uno what fuk u all

usethatcootertostopashooter: I came here for a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

veronicasoysauce: well stop mixing whiskey with pink lemonade and you will have a good time

mart: wait

mart: wHAT

heatherpeasant1: oh jd u poor alcoholic

usethatcootertostopashooter: I'm nOT AN ALCOHOLIC

usethatcootertostopashooter: I'm gonna eat all of your asses if you don't shut the fuck up

queenbheather: it's ok jd

queenbheather: I'll pay for rehab don't worry

usethatcootertostopashooter: I'm not an aLCOHOLIC

usethatcootertostopashooter: I just like a good time here n there uno?

queenbheather: gotcha

queenbheather: so basically an alcoholic

usethatcootertostopashooter: fUK U ALL UR THE REASON I'LL DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH

usethatcootertostopashooter left the chat

queenbheather: good riddance