The Open Door - Sean and Kaycee

20. The Search

Kaycee

Maybe I thought that everything about the world would suddenly change as soon as Sean and I were "together". That there would be a tangible shift in the cosmos after something so monumental had taken place.

But in reality, nothing really changed. Nothing big, at least. In part because Sean and I both decided to keep our relationship strictly between the two of us.

"It's better that way," I had argued, "if the whole world knows about it, then it wouldn't be as special because it wouldn't be just... the two of us. And I want it to just be us. At least for a little while." Sean had laughed and replied, "Sure, Ricebowl. We can take it as slow as you want. As long as I get to call you mine."

So our friends and teachers weren't technically supposed to know about us because we never told them. But I think a few of them might have guessed it. The day after Sean slept over at my apartment, Julian had suspiciously asked Sean why Miya had texted him to make sure that Sean was safely with him. "I covered for you, bro, but where the hell were you last night? Off with your girlfriend, huh?", he had asked with a smirk. Josh had caught on a few days later, chuckling knowingly every time Sean and I tried to get a moment to ourselves. "Enjoy your little moment, lovebirds," he would comment, grinning, before leaving the room.

The girl squad hasn't been much better. Bailey keeps elbowing me in the ribs every time that Sean is around. I swear I probably have a bruise on my side by now -- that girl really doesn't know her own strength. The three of them have also gotten into the annoying habit of not-so-subtly backing away whenever Sean comes over, and whispering loudly that "the two of them should really just get together already".

Not to mention that choreographers keep slyly putting the two of us together in every combination. Will has even started to call us to the front of class to model the choreography together, loudly praising our chemistry and synchronicity to everyone in the room.

But on a whole, things have stayed the same, at least on the outside. We've gone to classes, trained with the ImmaBeast team, and hung out with our friends. On the side, Sean and I spend time together just like we had from the beginning -- sharing jokes, laughing uncontrollably at said jokes, and being the awkward oddballs that we are.

On the inside, however, everything has changed, overwhelmingly for the better. It's been two weeks since we made it official between the two of us, and I still feel like I'm floating on a cloud, high above the troubles and cares of the earth. I'm in a perpetual state of happiness and fulfillment. I never feel lonely and empty like I did before, knowing that I have him by my side and that I can trust him with anything.

These past two weeks have been absolutely perfect. Is it possible for something perfect to last forever? That is my only fear: can this be too good to be true? Could it be that this is just a dream? If so, I don't ever want to wake up.

*****

"Okay, everyone! Settle down, settle down. Thank you all for coming out to this master class!" Everyone cheers. "Today we will be dancing to Bad at Love, by Halsey," Jojo shouts, "It's really important to be able to emotionally connect with the music. So I'm going to play the song, and I want you to think about what it means to you. What emotions does this song trigger for you? I'll give you a second."

The room goes quiet as Jojo walks over to the music player and presses play.

Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I

Always make the same mistakes, yeah I

Always make the same mistakes 'cause

I'm bad at love