Fixing Us

Chapter 14: Forgiveness

"Do you need to be going to the hospital for that fall?" Minae asks worriedly. I just shake my head, attempting to the best that I can to calm down.

Just as I manage to calm down, I quickly force myself back onto my feet. As we begin to head back down the the hall, Namjoon and Hoseok rush down worriedly.

"Are you okay?" Hoseok's firs to ask as the two of them surround me.

I can't lie and say that I'm not hurt that it isn't the two boys who are supposed to be my brother and boyfriend that's rushing worriedly down the hall. Bursting into another fit of tears, I let Hoseok pull me into a careful hug as I begin sobbing again. I just wanted Jiminie for one goddamn time to be there for me. Just once.

"Hey, shhhh. It's okay, Saejing. Shhhh. Calm down, it's going to be okay." He whispers. However, a bubble of anger bursts at his lies. Forgetting the pain for a mere moment, I shove him away angrily.

"Don't lie to me! Don't fucking lie to me damn it! It's not fucking okay! It's not going to be okay! I know the damned truth! Stop lying!" I scream.

"Saejing, I don't think you should be performing later." Minae says softly from behind me. I just shake my head.

"I'm fucking fine. I'm performing later, Minae. Don't worry about me. I've got it handled." I answer coldly before walking off down the hall away from the three of them who can only stand and watch worriedly.

"Jing? Butterfly, are you okay?" Jimin is standing in their dressing room doorway when I storm by. I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm just fucking great. Thanks for caring." I snap, not stopping.

"Jing, butterfly, please. I'm sorry for being such an asshole lately. Please, just come talk to me. Butterfly, I'm so sorry." He begs, his voice hoarse as he sounds like he's beginning to cry.

I just ignore him as I keep walking, soon finding myself in the extra warmup room they have here that nobody ever uses. Out of pure anger and pain, I begin warming up way too early. I don't care though. I can't afford to keep messing up. Sohjae was right. I am a damn idiot and I need to get my shit together. I have been nothing but an embarrassment to the band.

When I finish my performance later that night, I give the crowd a small smile and wave before exiting the stage. Jimin and Jin both are stood there waiting for me, causing me to roll my eyes at them. I attempt to walk right past them, but Jin closes the distance between them and I wouldn't be able to pass without bashing my bad shoulder into someone or something.

Huffing with another eye roll, I shove Jimin back so that I can pass. However, he catches my arm before picking me up and carrying me off somewhere.

"Jiminie! Put me down!" I yell, attempting to hit him to put me down. He shakes his head at me though.

"I'm not putting you down. Jin hyung and I need to talk to you and apologize for how we've been these last few days." He responds with a sigh.

"I don't care! Damn it, Jiminie! Please! Just put me down! My shoulder..." I begin to beg, him holding onto my bad shoulder. He immediately stops giving me an apologetic and worried look.

"I'm sorry, butterfly. But I can only put you down if you agree to come with us. I don't want to hurt you, Jing. But I need you to give us a chance to talk." He says gently with a small frown.

Feeling the tears of pain from my shoulder and the pain caused by these two boys, I just nod my head. He sighs, setting me down carefully.

"I'm sorry, butterfly." He whispers softly. I just bite my lip and nod my head, letting the two of them lead me down the hall. I don't say anything as they lead me back into the warmup room that I'd spent a couple hours in earlier. When we get in there, I go over and sit down and lean myself back against the wall.