Fixing Us

Chapter 16: Don't Tell

"Don't tell anyone about this." I speak when we get to my truck. Namjoon looks over at me in surprise.

"What? Why? Hyungs are all worried about you and what's going on. Besides, they all should know, Saejing. This is really serious." He argues with a frown.

"I know how fucking serious this is, Namjoon. I'm the last person you need to convince. I don't want anyone knowing at all. If I could, I'd rather you have not known either for that matter. But I can't undo that." I answer.

"Why don't you want anyone to know? You realize someone's going to get it out of you eventually." He questions.

"I don't need anyone worrying about me. The younger three are already worried about me taking good care of it so that it doesn't get worse. I don't want anyone worrying more than what I've already caused." I respond.

"What am I supposed to tell them?" He asks quieter this time.

"The same thing I'd told the others. It's a stress fracture. She hadn't been one hundred percent certain the first time but after what they'd found on Thursday last week, they were able to confirm that's all it is." I answer. He frowns again.

"You seriously think they're going to buy that?" He asks with a dumbfounded look.

"Think about it. None of them know what kind of scans were actually done on Thursday, though generally scans are done to take a look more so at muscles and tissues. It would make sense since it's in my shoulder that they wanted to be sure that's all it is. It's not like there'd be any other reasonable explanation. Other than this obviously. But I don't think anyone would think of that first." I explain. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"And when someone has to keep coming back here with you twice a week?" He challenges. I shake my head.

"I do the rest of this on my own." I answer. He frowns.

"Did you not notice just how anxious you were there today? And that was with me being there. And from the sounds of things, you were only very mildly any better with Hoseok." He tries to argue.

"I didn't know what was going on and concerning information was being withheld from me. I don't want any of you coming in and going with me for the rest of this. I don't want anyone to have see anything of what it's actually doing to me." I inform him quietly.

"What about Jin hyung and Jimin? That's your brother and boyfriend that you're lying to. That you're withholding critical information from." He says, seemingly trying desperately to find a loop hole.

"Fuck no. Especially the two of them. Jin finally found his sister after all these years. I heard the way he'd felt last night when they came and apologized, Namjoon. I'm not going that to him." I tell him. He frowns.

"Not even Jiminie? Your boyfriend? The one person who's seemed just as concerned about you as you have been for him?" He tries again.

"Hell fucking no. He's the absolute last person that I would want to know about this. I couldn't do that to him." I answer, growing choked up over the wonderful boy that I absolutely adore. He frowns at my answer.

"Why such strong feelings about him not knowing?" He asks softly. I feel the tears forming in my eyes again.

"Namjoon, I... I love him way too much to just destroy him like that. He knows first hand, the destruction that cancer causes. I was there with him, for him, as he had to witness that. You have no idea how much that fucked him up. How much it can fuck with your head.

"You've no idea just how heart wrenching it is to have to hear your best friend beg you never to get cancer because it'd kill him to have to lose you too, to hear that just mere hours after having attended his mother's funeral with him. To hear him tell you that he can't ever watch you die too. Don't you dare fucking tell him about this." I answer, the tears streaming freely down my cheeks as I explain. It's then that realization flashes through his eyes.