Naruto One-shots

Adventures of the Awakened

Summary: "So...the Demon Brothers attacked Tazuna because of the bridge he was building?" "Yes, Naruto." "...there are way too many plot holes in that explanation." In which Naruto constantly breaks the Fourth Wall and Tazuna should already be dead. One-shot...may add more in the future. (Extreme) OOCness. Crack-fic.

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I honestly don't know what happened with this one. Hope you enjoy this plot bunny that has been plaguing me for a while (also, please do inform me if there is actually an explanation to the issue I've brought up in this story).

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"So...the Demon Brothers attacked Tazuna because of the bridge he was building?"

Kakashi glanced up from his shameful orange book to Naruto, who was walking next to him, and raised an eyebrow. Kakashi didn't think that Naruto had this long of an attention span.

"Yes, Naruto."

Naruto nodded, but his features scrunched up. "There are way too many plot holes in that explanation."

Kakashi blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well...Tazuna came to the Leaf for an escort back to Wave, right?" Kakashi nodded. "Well...how did he get to Konoha?"

Kakashi's mind blanked. Then, he said, "He probably hired another team to escort him here."

"Just to have another escort him back?"

Kakashi shook his head. "He may have had business in Konoha."

"Okay, let's say that he did have a team escort him to Konoha...wouldn't you think that the team would have noticed that Tazuna was lying? I mean, they would have to go to Wave to pick him up, and I'm pretty sure that the condition it's in would probably tip them off that something was wrong there."

"Naruto, you talk like you've been to Wave before."

"I will be seeing Wave in the near future."

"But you haven't actually seen it yet, so how do you know what it looks like?"

"Because I can break through the dimensional walls and see our future through a screen. Duh."

"...let's get back on topic. You're right, considering its position, Wave's probably in poor condition. But I don't see how that would tip them off."

"Think about it, Wave doesn't have a ninja village. And, from what I can tell, ninja aren't exactly common there."

"Now, you can't say tha-"

"Hey, Tazuna!" Naruto yelled over his shoulder, getting said man's attention. "Are ninja common in Wave?"

Tazuna snorted. "As if! Some of them probably don't even know what a ninja is."

"Thanks!" Naruto turned back to Kakashi. "See? Ninja aren't common in Wave. Which means that people will notice and start to get their hopes up. One of the citizens would have probably poured out the whole story about Gato and his dictatorship and Tazuna's bridge and how much danger he is in, considering the fact that Gato is more than capable of hiring trained ninja. In that case, any reasonable genin team would have aborted the mission, headed straight back to the Leaf, and reported to the Hokage, and since Old Man is so nice, he would have probably sent aid to Wave. Since that didn't happen, we can assume that no one escorted Tazuna to the Leaf."

"Maybe he had a team from another village escort him?"

"Hey, Tazuna?" Naruto yelled over his shoulder once again. "Have you paid another village for a mission?"

"No," Tazuna said back. "I felt like Konoha was my best option. Not too much of a bad history, and great rates. What else could I ask for?"

Naruto nodded and turned back to Kakashi, whose I was twitching.

"Okay," Kakashi seethed, "Tazuna didn't get an escort to Konoha. He could have very well come there himself."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Do you think that Gato wouldn't have taken advantage of that? The moment Gato found out..." Naruto slid his hand across his neck, imitating someone getting their throat slit, and pointed to Tazuna.

Kakashi nodded. Naruto was...right. This whole thing didn't make any sense.

Eyebrows scrunching, he stopped, causing the rest of the group to stop, and turned to Tazuna.

"How did you get to the Leaf?"

Tazuna opened his mouth, about to answer, then paused. Pure confusion entered his eyes. "I-I don't remember..." he trailed off. Then, his posture straightened and he stood, rigid, as his eyes glazed over.

Naruto sighed and turned to Kakashi angrily. "Look at what you did! You broke him!"

Sasuke nodded. "Honestly, I thought he would wake up by now."

Naruto sighed. "Me too." He perked up. "So, when'd you wake up?"

"Three days ago."

"So that's why you were acting so weird. I wake up two hours ago. What about Sakura?"

"She isn't awake yet."

They both turned to Sakura, who was poking Tazuna's arm. She looked up at them and said, in the sweetest voice, "Is he dead?"

For some reason, a horrible shiver ran down Kakashi's spine.

Sasuke shook his head. "No, he's not dead. He's just getting rebooted."

Sakura pouted. "Aw, I wanted to eat him!"

Kakashi's eyes widened in alarm.

Naruto just glanced at Sasuke quizzically. "What the heck happened to her?"

Sasuke sighed. "She was supposed to wake up yesterday, but something went wrong. Now she's a homicidal psychopath who is currently having a cannibalistic streak."

"Oh...why is out author so weird?"

"To be entertaining to the readers. Duh."

Kakashi choked. "R-Readers?"

Sasuke walked over and patted him on the back. "Shh, it's all right. You'll either wake up or go insane, but either way, you'll understand."

Next time on Adventures of the Awakened:

Will Kakashi go insane? Will Sakura eat anyone? Will Naruto and Sasuke care? Stay tuned to find out!

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Hope you enjoyed...and stuff. I will say that it was very fun to write! Also, I've got to say that I freaking love OOC Sasuke! Also, I may or may not put a part two or three up...depends on how much of a response I get (and whether I feel like it).

Remember to Vote and Comment! Until next time, this is SSSRHA2, signing out!