Naruto One-shots

Disagreements

Summary: In which Naruto is convinced that Sasuke and Sakura aren't dating, and Kakashi isn't paid enough to deal with ignorant little kids. [One-shot, crack-fic, SasuSaku, takes place sometime after Sasuke comes back to Konoha]

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"Sasuke and Sakura aren't dating!"

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "What makes you think that?"

"I'm their teammate, they would have told me!"

"Have you told them that you and Hinata are dating?"

"Everyone knows that Hinata and I are dating!"

"No, actually. Everyone still assumes that she's chasing after you and you're oblivious."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, neither of you have gone out on a date-"

"We just haven't gotten around to it!"

"-in fact, when was the last time you two were together?"

"Yesterday, actually."

"And were you in any place that guarantees that people will see you?"

"...no."

"That, coupled with your lack of actually telling anyone that you and Hinata are a couple, are probably why no one knows."

"...that's beside the point! Sasuke and Sakura aren't dating!"

Kakashi sighed, putting down his book. He pointed over to his two other students who were currently leisurely walking across the country road. Next time I'll accept a mission to some romantic location...just to spice things up. "They're walking side-by-side."

"You and I are walking side-by-side," Naruto pointed out.

"Maybe, but look, Sakura's giggling."

"She always giggles around Sasuke."

"And Sasuke is smiling—a small smile, maybe, but still a smile."

"I didn't know that you had such little faith in our platonic bonds with each other. Sasuke smiles when he's with me!"

"He really doesn't."

"How mean."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Sure, maybe. However, Sakura's talking to him-"

"Again, she always does that!"

"-and he's talking back."

"...Sasuke's social skills have grown with leaps and bounds."

"He's Sasuke, I don't think he knows what the word social means."

"Point. However, he has been talking to people more lately. Remember that one time with the Kiri ambassador?"

"Sasuke was giving him a verbal smackdown after he decided that he could take on one of the most powerful people on the Continent."

"The whole Elemental Nations," Naruto corrected, then paused. "And quite possibly beyond."

"...true. However, that doesn't invalidate my point."

"Maybe," Naruto allowed, "but the ambassador deserved that. Anyone would have done the same thing."

"But he's not anyone, he's Sasuke."

"But still."

"Sure, whatever. Look now, Sasuke's blushing."

"It's hot out here and Sasuke's very pale."

"You've got an answer for everything, don't you?"

"It's the first thing Grandma Tsunade's teaching me so I can become Hokage: fake it 'til you make it!"

"...should I be concerned for the future of the Village?"

"Grandma Tsunade said that that's what she's been doing since she came into office."

"Great job, Naruto, now I fear for the present...on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that's all every Hokage has done so far, so..." Kakashi shook his head. "Naruto, now Sasuke's laughing."

"You've seen him laugh before."

"Yeah, but it was maniacal and his eyes were bleeding and he denounced me as his sensei and...it's not a memory I like to dwell on."

"I agree. Still, though, he has laughed before."

"Honestly, he looks like he's giggling now."

Naruto squinted at his two teammates, then shook his head. "The heat's getting to us. Sasuke doesn't giggle."

"...for once, I agree with you." Kakashi then froze.

"Uh...what's wrong?"

"They're holding hands!"

"As if."

"Look at them or you're going to miss it!"

"No, I'll probably fall under whatever genjutsu you're under."

"Naruto, now! You'll miss it!"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Na-"

"No."

"Turn around-"

"No."

"NARUTO UZUMAKI, IF YOU DON'T TURN AROUND AT THIS INSTANT, SO HELP ME I WILL TELL LADY TSUNADE THAT YOU'VE VOLUNTEERED TO CATCH TORA FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!"

Naruto stared at him. "...fine." He turned around. "They're not holding hands."

Kakashi's eye twitched. "You missed it," he hissed. "You refused to turn around and you missed it."

Naruto snorts. "Sure I did, Kakashi-sensei, sure I did. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"You little- OH MY GOD, THEY'RE KISSING! TURN AROUND YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. Like I'll listen to a delusional old man."

"BUT NARUTO-"

"I need to go to the bathroom. Call me if we get ambushed." Kakashi stared, eyes wide, as Naruto walked into the woods, completely ignoring his kissing—no, full-blown making out—teammates! And when things got a little deeper than he was comfortable with, he heard Naruto yell, "Oh, a squirrel! I'll be back in a bit, Kakashi-sensei!"

...Ugh, I'm not paid enough for this.

THE END

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I had so much fun writing this! Naruto being completely oblivious to Sasuke and Sakura's relationship had always been an idea in the back of my head, but now it has come to life! And Kakashi was hilarious! Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this little piece. Also, I tried to implement the use of the em dash...I don't know how that went. Meh.

Remember to Vote and Comment! Until next time, this is SSSRHA2, signing out!