Naruto One-shots

Glasses

Summary: In which Kakashi realizes that constantly covering one eye and always reading with the other is probably not a good idea. Sakura agrees. Gai does, too. Neji's trying to be nice and failing. Takes place during the three-year time gap. One shot.

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Sakura Haruno was bored. If you don't find this slightly disgusting, let me elaborate. Sakura Haruno was bored even though she had paperwork to do right in front of her. Said paperwork was an official analysis of an autopsy done on a ninja that had recently returned from a particularly dangerous mission. There was also an unfinished report to her master, Tsunade, explaining why a shinobi had died under her care.

She also had to write a letter explaining to the man's only living relative, his son, why his father won't be coming home tomorrow.

And, as slightly morbid as it was, Sakura Haruno really didn't care. She wAS BORED, GODDAMNIT! Sighing as she chastised herself about how she was being very heartless, she picked up the pen she had accidentally flung to the floor and went to continued her report.

Just as her pen touched the paper, her door was slammed open. "Gah!" she yelled, jumping at least three feet out of her office chair. When she got back down she turned to the door. She stared at her intruders, then blinked. "Gai-sensei, why are you carrying Kakashi-sensei?"

Gai suddenly burst into comical anime tears. "Because," he sobbed, "Kakashi's flames of youth have dimmed!"

"...translation?"

"Kakashi-sensei," someone else said, walking into the room, "seems to need glasses." Sakura looked up, then smiled.

"Neji-san! It's nice to see you again!"

"Same to you, Sakura-san."

"Now, what's this about Kakashi-sensei needing glasses?"

"I don't!" Kakashi yelled as he finally rolled out of Gai's hands, maneuvering carefully as to not disturb his broken arms that were currently in a sling (Tsunade and Sakura had already yelled at him for managing to break both his arms). "I don't need glasses!"

"Kakashi-sensei," Neji said, "shut up and let the doctor give her analysis."

"But-"

"I said SHUT UP."

"Listen to Neji-kun, my eternal rival," Gai said, still crying. "Or your flames of youth could diminish even more!"

"He's right, you know," Sakura said seriously. "You should get glasses right now if you need them. If your eyesight gets worse, then it'll be a hindrance on the battlefield."

"No it won't," Kakashi said stubbornly. "I'll be fine!"

"So you admit it?" Kakashi stayed silent. "Also, yes it will hinder you. How can you fight when you can only see three feet in front of your face?"

Kakashi mumbled something that Sakura decided that she didn't want to hear.

"Now, Gai-sensei, Neji-san, why do you think Kakashi-sensei needs glasses?"

"As Kakashi's been temporarily put off of some youthfulness, I offered to hold his youthful entertainment but he could not see it from a youthful distance!"

"...translation?"

Neji sighed. "Since Kakashi-sensei broke both of his arms, Gai-sensei offered to hold up his precious," Neji sneered on the word "precious", "book for him to read. He was unable to make out the words at the distance Gai-sensei was holding it."

"How do you not know that you were holding it too far away?" Kakashi asked.

"I could read it from that distance," Neji said. Under his breath, he muttered, "I can't believe I was forced to read such filth."

Sakura ignored him and grabbed a poster from one of her cabinets. She grabbed a push pin and stuck it to the wall. She then turned to Kakashi and said, "Stand on this line."

Kakashi sighed and stood the line he had indicated. "Now, I'm going to ask you some question about what you see and WILL answer them honestly, got it?"

"Got it," Kakashi said miserably.

"Good," Sakura said simply. "Now, what's this character?" She pointed to the largest one at the top.

"San," Kakashi said immediately. Sakura nodded.

"Good. What about the two below it?"

"Shi and Chi."

"The three on the next row?"

"To, Ne, and Ko."

"Good."

Sakura went like this down the list. Kakashi needed to squint by the fifth row. When she came to the end she looked up at Kakashi.

"Yep," she said, "you definitely need glasses."

Kakashi groaned.

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"Okay," Sakura said, "here's your prescription." She paused. "Kakashi-sensei," she said seriously, "I want you to get a monocle."

Silence, before, "WHAT?"

Sakura sighed. "Look, Kakashi-sensei, I've already looked at your other eye. It's perfect. It doesn't need glasses. Your non-Sharingan one does, though. Unless you want to pay extra for a lens that you'll never need-"

"I'll pay it," Kakashi hissed, "just don't let me look like an old man!"

"Okay," she said. "I can't tell you exactly how much it costs, but I can give you an estimate." She looked over the paper. "Okay, it'll be around 400 ryo."

"...for two lenses?"

"And it's frame. It might cost more if you get a fancy frame and some add-ons..."

"F-four hundred ryo," Kakashi muttered.

"It's just an estimate," Sakura said. "Oh, and you probably get an insurance plan or something because you're bound to break them on missions."

"I-insurance," Kakashi said, nodding, slightly dazed. "I-it'll be okay..."

Sakura couldn't keep a straight face any longer. She burst out laughing.

"What?" Kakashi yelled as Sakura clutched her sides. "Did you trick me?" His eyes narrowed. "Do I not need glasses?"

"No, no," Sakura wheezed, wiping a few tears from her eyes, "you definitely need glasses. You just-" She giggled again. "M-Monocle," she said, gasping.

Kakashi growled at her.

She eventually calmed down. "Kakashi-sensei, you don't need to get a monocle or glasses. We'll just get you some contacts."

"Oh thank god!" Kakashi yelled.

"Okay, so just give this prescription to any store that sells contacts. They'll get it to you."

"So...am I done here?"

"Yep," Sakura said brightly. Kakashi nodded and stood up to walk out the door. Suddenly, Sakura spoke again, stopping him. "You know, Kakashi-sensei," she said slyly, "it's going to be hard to put in your contacts with your arms like that."

Kakashi stared down at his two broken arms, his eyes widening. Sakura grinned.

"Have fun with Gai-sensei."

THE END

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Hope you liked that. Seriously, though, doesn't this seem like something that would have actually happened in canon? Think about it!

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