Naruto One-shots

Of Marriage and Madness

Summary: "So Lady Tsunade really doesn't know that I'm dating Naruto and you're dating Sakura?" In which Sasuke and Hinata get betrothed and everyone's happy...except the couple and their respective significant others. [One-shot, half-crack-fic, fluff, AU, OOCness, SasuSaku, NaruHina, Sasuke+Hinat and Naruto+Sakura frienships]

[Warning: This is very fluffy and I haven't gone over it much to check for errors. You have been warned]

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Sasuke and Hinata's wedding day was amazing...for everyone except them. When they first found out that they were betrothed and to be married, it was a week before the day of the marriage.

"Betrothed?!" Sasuke hissed. "Why was I never informed of this?!"

Tsunade shrugged. "It was on my to-do list. I just never really got around to doing it."

"And how long have we been betrothed?" Hinata asked.

"Since you lost the title of clan heir to your sister."

"...that long?"

Tsunade nodded. "Yep. Now go do couple things or whatever."

Sasuke had a panicked look in his eyes. "But Lady-"

"Out."

"I'm trying-"

"Shut up and get out."

Face red, Sasuke Uchiha stalked out of the office and down to the lobby, Hinata following at a much slower pace. After a few minutes of silence, she said, "So Lady Tsunade really doesn't know that I'm dating Naruto and you're dating Sakura?"

"Apparently not."

"What are we going to do?"

"Tell them the bad news and drown our sorrows in alcohol."

"...I'm down for it."

So that will probably give you a picture of how their wedding went. Everyone was happy...except them. And Naruto and Sakura, of course.

For their wedding night, Sasuke and Hinata climbed on opposite sides of the bed, sleeping as far away from each other as possible, while mentally sobbing because this was not how they wanted to get married.

Naruto and Sakura were drunk at a bar...also married. It was a split-second decision, they got everything worked out at the courthouse, and now they had to figure out the reason that they did it in the first place.

"So...why'd we get married?"

"Because Sasuke and Hinata are married."

"I don't follow."

"Look, you and Hinata were already basically married and so were Sasuke and I."

"How do you have such perfect grammar even when you're drunk?"

"Don't know, now listen. Since all four of us are married, no sane person will put the moves on us."

"...okay?"

"And you can 'cheat' on me with Hinata and I'll 'cheat' on you with Sasuke. I doubt anyone will care, really. Well, out of the four of us, at least."

"Are you sure? Sasuke and Hinata were raised in pretty strict clans. They might be uncomfortable."

"The poor saps are uncomfortable with their marriage. All four of us are good friends, anyway, and no one will suspect a thing."

"Until either you or Hinata get pregnant, in which case either me or Sasuke have to act extremely offended."