Naruto One-shots

Dumped & Drunk

Summary: When Hinata and Sakura make out, dumping their respective boyfriends (on their double-date, no less), Naruto and Sasuke are left alone to figure out what just happened. Naruto's mad and Sasuke's trying to be a mature adult. One-shot, SasuNaru BROMANCE, Non-massacre AU.

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There was a stunned silence.

"D-Did Sakura and Hinata just-"

"They did..."

"And they just left-"

"They did..."

"And we're stuck with the bill!"

"We are."

"Why are you so okay with this?!" Naruto demanded.

Sasuke's eye twitched. "My girlfriend just dumped me for your girlfriend. I am not okay with this."

"Then why are you so calm?!"

"Because, unlike you, I'm a mature adult."

"But our girlfriends just declared that they were lesbians and dumped us!"

"I'm actually pretty sure that Hinata said she was bisexual and Sakura said she was pan, but sure."

"I don't care about their sexualities, I want my girlfriend back!"

Sasuke leaned back and let out an irritated sigh. "What are you going to do? She literally just dumped you. While making out with my girlfriend, no less. What makes you think that either of us can get them back?"

"It's called true love!"

"No," Sasuke corrected, "it's called creepy. Unless you want a restraining order, don't do anything stupid."

Naruto wilted. "But...but true love!"

"What about borders? And respecting people's decisions?"

"What about respecting my decisions?!"

"Idiot, Hinata is quite obviously not into you and it is well within her rights to dump you."

"Again, you seem way too okay with this!"

Sasuke's face was calm but his chopsticks snapped in half and his bowl of rice slammed onto the table. "No," he said, face perfectly composed, "I am just a mature adult."

Naruto flinched backward. "R-Right..."

There was a minute of silence before Sasuke turned and picked the food out of Sakura's plate on put it on his own. At Naruto's inquisitive look, he shrugged. "What? It's not like she's going to eat it."

Unable to argue with that logic, Naruto copied him, taking food out of Hinata's plate.

"...I'm ordering some sake."

"Is getting drunk really a good idea?"

"I don't care," Naruto snapped. "I just want to get drunk."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "No wonder Hinata dumped you."

Naruto's mouth curled into a scowl. "No wonder Sakura dumped you."

There was another silence before Naruto shook his head and waved down the waiter.

"Anything else you... wait, weren't there four of you?" the waiter asked.

Naruto just put his face in his hand and sighed. "Get us two bottles of sake."

The waiter's eyes widened. "Of course."

Sasuke mentally growled at the pity in his eyes.

As he walked off, Naruto muttered, "Should have asked for four..."