Homecoming (Lesbian)

CHAPTER 33

 I avoided Faye for the next few days. I couldn't face her and deal with the amount of conflicted emotions running through my heart at a hundred miles an hour. My brother tried to be supportive, but he realized there was not much he could say or do. Everything'd gone to shit and no one could pick up the pieces. I just wanted to be left alone and suffer in peace.

But Faye didn't take the hint.

I would avoid her, and she would insist. I would ignore her calls, and she would call my brother, my mom, her mom and anyone she knew who knew me. She even started calling Mike to leave messages with him because she knew I was babysitting baby Emily often. She would stop by my house now and then to see if I was there. Luckily I wasn't spending much time at my place. I was investing every amount of energy I had into remodeling the apartment I bought from Mr. Greene.

I was going through a motion of feeling happy, and then feeling sad, and feeling happy again. It felt like my life was continuously spinning out of control with every situation that rose up.

Now, to better understand what happened a few months later in that bar, which I classify as the second and last time I physically hurt Faye, I thought it would be best to tell the other side of the story. What I'm about to tell you, I was not there when it happened. Faye was the one to tell me all of this when I was at the hospital.

Faye was growing more and more impatient with my indifference. I don't know what she was expecting of me. You cannot drop a bomb like that hoping nothing will change. So when she needed advice, she went to the one person she knew would listen to her without judging her.

"I don't know what to do, mom," Faye said, walking from one side of the living room to the other while Mrs. Burton kept her eyes on her daughter. She was speaking fast, as if she needed to let it all out to make sense of it. "What do I do? I mean, let's say Riley, for whatever crazy reason, forgives me. Let's pretend that she has a heart big enough to forgive me for not only marrying her best friend, but also get impregnated WITH HIS CHILD!"

"Oh, honey, impregnated sounds so―"

"And then what?" Faye said, not letting Mrs. Burton finish the sentence. "Do I stay with Scott? Do I interrupt the pregnancy and run away with Riley? Do I keep the baby and hope Riley will receive both of us with opened arms? Do I interrupt the pregnancy and choose neither? Do I keep the baby and stay alone with it?"

"Darling―"

"And what if I keep the baby and I don't love it? What if the baby doesn't love me? What if they grow up to hate me and say 'I hate you and I wish I'd never been born', to which I reply 'Well, nice because I fucking hate you, too. I never wanted you. You were just a mistake that your dad used to keep me tied to him'?"

"Honey!" Mrs. Burton shouted standing up and placing her hands on Faye's shoulders. "Please, one bad possibility at a time, okay?"

Faye sighed and they both sat down on the sofa. With tears on her eyes, she asked, "Should I keep the baby?"

Mrs. Burton's arms felt to her sides and for once, she seemed baffled. "I don't know, honey. I can't answer that question for you. I mean, to me, abortion wouldn't even cross my mind, but this is you, not me. And if you really think you won't be able to give that baby the love they're going to need... then you should consider what would be best."

"You were right, you know? This is all my fault," Faye commented crying. "All of it. I should've left Scott a long time ago. Actually, scratch that, I should've never married him. I was so scared that I just took what I thought was the easy answer... and look at the mess I made. And now Riley won't even... God, mom, what if she doesn't forgive me? What if this is really the last straw?"