d_s_t_e's Wattpad Reviews

New Genesis by Kevis390 [Magical Realism]

New Genesis is a short work of magical realism that doesn't seem to realize it's a work of magical realism. The first person narrator is a boy who is both physically and socially disadvantaged by hemophilia, but his life takes a turn after his parents take him to a witch doctor who administers a cure that has fantastical side effects.

One of the things I liked best about this story is that it has a very unique and interesting style. I wasn't sold on it from the very start, but it did catch my attention very quickly just a few sentences into it. The main character's voice is very present and powerful, which gave it a feeling reminiscent of Catcher in the Rye. This character is no Holden Caulfield, but he is a young man whose voice rings true, who makes you feel almost compelled to hear the tale he has to tell.

At least, it had that effect whenever it was working as it should have been. Sadly, in a book that relies so heavily on its style, every stylistic rough patch grates upon the reader with extra force. This story did have moments where the style fell flat, like a tuning fork struck improperly. The reader comes to expect the clear ring of that voice, the voice that the author clearly has the ability to produce as easily as that tuning fork has the ability to produce its note, but is disappointed by bad wording, phrasing that seems inconsistent with the character, or, worst of all, typos that reveal mistakes a verbal storyteller would never make. Almost all of them were the type that a basic spellchecker wouldn't catch, and I would guess that they originate from a combination of autocorrect and a lack of careful editing. The most unfortunate one I saw was the word "hemophilia" transformed into "homophobia", which completely changed the meaning of the sentence. In another instance, a boy is said to have a pocket full of "safety mines". In a work like this, it's very important for the author to carefully reread every sentence, and the presence of these errors suggested a certain lack of care that could turn a reader off.

The other thing that felt off about the story at times was the setting. The beginning of the story talks about a doctor who writes in a notepad in an office, which suggests a fairly modern setting (the notepad was invented in 1902). The fact that there were no good treatments for hemophilia then suggested that the time period was the early 1900's as opposed to more recent years (in the early 1900's, hemophilia was known by that name and could be treated with blood transfusions, but treatments to induce clotting or replace clotting factors in the blood had not been discovered and life expectancy was low). However, the fact that so much focus is placed upon how well a man or a boy can chop wood in this society, as well as the lack of technologies like early automobiles, limited use of electricity, or even trains, suggests an older time period. This is even further reinforced when we see that combat training focuses on the use of "swords and axes and quarterstaves" without any mention of guns or other weapons that would have been in wide use by the early 1900's. Then the fact that one of the characters has a zipper on his pants suggests that it can't possibly be any earlier than the 1930's, since the zipper wasn't patented until 1917 and wasn't added to pants until twenty years after. Basically, it's very difficult to determine what time period the story is meant to be taking place in, and the confusion with time also makes it difficult to determine location. Certainly there wouldn't be gold pieces and towns run by Grand Wardens in the United States of the 1930's, which is the country whose history I'm most acquainted with, but it doesn't seem to match what I would guess for any other location of that time period either. This certainly detracts from the realism of the story, which is a real flaw in a work of magical realism.

I do say that this story is magical realism, though, or at least is trying to be, based on the way that the fantastical elements are interlaced with the realistic setting. Even though I can't tell the exact time and place of the story, I can certainly tell that it's not a high fantasy world like Middle Earth or Narnia. There are no elves or dwarves or talking animals, no wizards or magicians. For the most part, this story treats the fantastic as if it were just another part of the real and ordinary, which is one of the most distinguishing hallmarks of magical realism. Magical realism can be fantastic when properly executed, and this story shows a lot of promise towards that end, but it fell just a bit short. Partially, this is because the realism didn't quite feel realistic, but it's also because it didn't fully embrace the concept of the extraordinary being presented as ordinary. The scene with the witch doctor accomplishes it beautifully because it is presented as a perfectly ordinary, if somewhat rarely utilized, action for the family to be taking in their mission to find a cure for hemophilia. Even better, the description of the main character's fantastical experience while undergoing the witch doctor's treatment is described as if it was not entirely unexpected. The scene in which the main character finds that he's been cured and is able to boldly approach the other children with this news also fits in with this view because none of them see it as a miracle or dark magic or anything terribly surprising in any way at all. Unfortunately, though, the later scene of the main character testifying before the Grand Warden teaches the reader that it's very possible that the main character will be considered delusional or insane, which flies in the face of the approach that the story seemed to be taking up to this point. If it was one way or the other, at least it would be consistent, but it can't be the case that these things are both ordinary experiences and so unbelievable that one could be sent to a sanatorium for believing to have gone through them. Either the main character would have confidence in his story being believed by the Grand Warden or the main character would have been concerned about his own sanity (or at least other people's perceptions of his sanity) long before this.

Another common element of magical realism is social commentary and criticism, and this story also takes a very interesting approach to that end. I really liked seeing the depth that this story tried to tackle in the fourth chapter, and I especially enjoyed the bold choice the author made for the ending. I also liked how the main character's family played into the overall conclusion, particularly given how well those dynamics were established in such a short format during the beginning of the story. Another of this story's strengths is how much it can deliver in such a short space of words, at least when it's working at its best. I can definitely see what the story was going for overall.

Unfortunately, there were just a few things lacking in the setup to the conclusion that prevented it from having the full effect of what it was going for. Mainly, the transition between the scene in the penultimate paragraph of Chapter Three and the introduction of new character Iris was too sudden. The main character's reaction to the events of the paragraph wasn't properly explained. I didn't quite understand what he was thinking and how he was feeling. Most importantly, I didn't understand why he didn't do what he ultimately does right at that moment instead. I didn't understand what obstacle was preventing him from doing that, which means I didn't understand when the story took a turn that enabled it once more. It also made the appearance of the new character seem to be happening out of nowhere, as if it was disconnected from the thread of the plot rather than a natural development of it.

All in all, I can see the potential that this story has. It could be a very interesting and deep work of magical realism with some additional work on the author's part, but, at the moment, its errors in execution are causing it to fall short. To any readers who want to check it out, my final piece of advice to you is to skip the introductory author's note. It seems to have been written as an emotional reaction directed to people who have already read the story, and it will either make you feel bad about yourself before you've even done anything or it will make you dislike the author for telling you how you should feel about the story before you've even had a chance to decide that for yourself. Neither of these is a very good incentive to continue reading a story that you've just picked up, and, truly, it doesn't seem as though this part was written for you at all. It's written for the person that the author expects you to be after you finish reading, and, call me crazy, but I doubt you'll ever be that person if the first thing you read causes you to read no further. If you're going to read this one, just ignore the author and try to evaluate the story on its own merits if you can.