Hold Me Close | Kellic

Chapter 4

VIC'S P.O.V

"What hurts?"

"Being an Angel," I said in my mind quietly, not wanting to hear the words or the realisation that an Angel is what I was even though I didn't deserve the title in the slightest. I was grateful that after death I was sent to Heaven but I expected Angels to be perfect beings, always kind and graceful, forever seeking peace, breathtakingly beautiful creatures, that's what I knew Angels as and that's what the Angels around me were, they were nothing less. But then there was me. Vic Fuentes, a normal Angel who died in his bedroom in San Diego then sent to Heaven to spend the rest of eternity in perfect peace, a perfect Angel. That's what I thought would happen when I died, I'd finally be happy but I never expected to feel pain that exceeded what I suffered whilst living.

"You're.. You're an Angel?" the small voice speaking to me said and all of a sudden I forgot who I was all over again. I had been crying to myself for what would be months in human time but here, I didn't know how long it had been. I would beg for help when the pain got too much, hoping someone would hear.. Someone in particular but I was speaking to myself, in my head. How was anyone meant to hear me? But they did although I didn't have a single idea as to who heard me, all I knew was that he made me forget who I was when I concentrated on his voice and he's not the one I tried to get to hear me.

"Yeah, that's all I can actually remember about myself right now.. I still can't remember my name," I said with a shaky voice. I was trying so hard not to break down again and scream for help, all this hurt inside of me was getting too much.

"I can't believe I can't remember who I am either, I'm always so confident in myself," which was something I've never been, "but that doesn't matter, what matters right now is making sure I can help you. What do you mean you're not good enough?"

I stayed silent for a moment, after all it was upsetting talking about all the things wrong with you. Especially to someone I didn't even know, I didn't want him to hate me straight away because of all of my flaws.

"I'm not going to hate you, I promise. I don't like the idea of judging people and this means I get to know you a little but if you're uncomfortable with telling me then I completely understand," he said quickly. I must've been saying my thoughts out loud.. Kind of because I was saying all of this to him in my head, of course. I took a deep, pointless breath before answering his voice.. His beautiful voice..

"I'm dead, obviously but I did something terrible, really really shameful and yet I'm an Angel in Heaven! I should've been sent to Hell to be tortur-"

"-Hell!" He interrupted me. I stayed quiet to see what his reason was for stopping me mid sentence.

"Sorry, it's just that Hell rings a bell and I almost remembered who I was but it didn't work. Sorry for interrupting, carry on," he said, sounding awkward towards the end for his sheepish apology.

"It's fine but that's where I should've gone, I'm not good enough to be called an Angel anyway. I never will be," I said, almost breaking out in tears again.

"I'm sure that's not true, whatever you did must not have been that bad because you've been sent to Heaven. Please just believe that you're not everything you think you are, I don't even know you but I can tell that you're an extremely precious Angel," he said and for the first time in a long time I actually smiled.

"Thank you," I whispered and instantly fell asleep.

***

"Vic! Wake up! Victor Fuentes! Mr Sexican! Wake up, my Mexican Midget!"

I woke up to having none other than Jaime Preciado shouting at me to wake me up. I groaned and turned over in my bed, trying to stay asleep but he wasn't having it.