Hold Me Close | Kellic

Chapter 9

KELLIN'S P.O.V

My hands were shaking as I woke up after talking to Vic. It still wasn't what our night time was but I assumed that our mind link drained my energy, especially this time as I started it and it was at a different time to what either of us were used to. There was no more blood on me which was a relief but the thought made me frown slightly. I still hadn't found the answer as to why it had happened. Vic seemed almost afraid to tell me which only made me more anxious. I pushed the thoughts aside but not without hope that Vic might try to talk to me later before I go to sleep properly.

My mind went back to what Vic had claimed to be the only things that would bring him happiness; to be loved and to have his brother back. I told him that I'd do something about Mike, that I'd help him but I wasn't capable of doing anything like that. I couldn't refuse to doing it though, I told him I would and there was no way of me crushing what hope I must've clustered inside of him.

Then I had to open my mouth again and get him to trust me that someone will fall in love with him eventually. I don't know that for sure, how could I have given him two sets of false hope? I wanted someone to love him as much I've been craving someone to love me for hundreds of years and I'm scared that love won't ever find him like it never found me.

At least I knew I could at least attempt to help in one of the situations and that was finding Mike. I debated in my head to go now or wait until my next conversation with Vic. I had convinced myself that it would be easier to persuade Mike to trust me that I was definitely talking to Vic if I knew their story but it could be stepping over personal boundaries. I was certain I'd be going to far, not to mention the fact that Vic didn't even feel comfortable with explaining the blood event to me. I also wanted to tell Vic that I was positive about finding Mike and it could take a while so I wasn't sure when the next time I'd be able to speak to him would be.

So that's what I did, I waited for Vic to hopefully start one of our small conversations. It was a long wait but I found myself begin to look forward to hearing his voice. I remembered his small laugh in between his tears when I told him a Hellhound had tried to eat me once. I still held a grudge against Chippy for that but Vic's sweet laugh brought a smile to my lips. It confused me though, I didn't know why thinking about him made smile although quite often it depended on what I was thinking about, if I thought about the times he was begging for help I'd want to just cradle him in my arms. He appeared so fragile.

I began to grow impatient although I needed to at least try and get the information I need, if not I'd still need to tell him that I may not be able to talk to him for a while.

"Kellin? Are you there?" Vic asked softly and I smiled yet again when I heard my name come from him.

"Yeah, I'm here Vic," I said, trying to match his soft tone but it wasn't in my nature if I were to be talking to anyone else but with Vic it did somehow come naturally.

"Are you OK?" He asked me and I tilted my head a little in confusion. Normally I'd be the one asking him that question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

He sighed a little, unsure of himself before answering, "I don't know if I should tell you because I've been worrying all day about whether you should know but I've decided that you should."

For a moment I thought that he'd reveal his and Mike's past but that wasn't it, "Ok, what is it?"

"The blood that was on you the other night. I know.. At least, I think I know why it happened but I don't exactly understand," he said and I just stayed silent letting him continue.

"I guess hearing Mike's name again and knowing he's definitely there in Hell got to me a bit. Before I died my life was a mess, I'd come home from Highschool and head straight to the razor blade," I could feel a tightness in my chest at his words, "so when I died I thought I'd be happy as an Angel but when Mike didn't join me my thoughts got worse, being a perfect Angel brought pressure on me and it got to the worst point yet on that night so I turned back to the razor blade. My wrists became covered in cuts and so were my thighs but I was confused. Every time I sliced through my skin it would leave a cut but it wouldn't bleed no matter how deep I made them. I thought it was because I'm an Angel but then you told me blood started appearing on you out of no where and.. Kellin, I think we're connected in more ways than just our minds."

I was speechless. That's not what I was expecting. It pained me to know that he had gone through that experience which made me want to question how he died but I left the subject alone. So the blood on me was Vic's? Why were we so strongly connected?

"Vic, I'm sorry you feel that way. I know you probably don't want sympathy because I hate it too when people would give it to me but please, please don't do this again. You deserve better," I said and I could only just about hear him whisper, "but I don't."

I bit my lip to stop myself from countering his judgement but I'd save it for our next conversation.

"I don't get it though. Why? Why are we connected like this? Why us? Why was it you and me? What's so special about us? Why is it just us? Or at least is it as far as I'm aware of. I just want to understand and how is that even possible for your blood to appear on me?" I kept rambling on, asking more questions which weren't going to be answered anytime soon.

"Kellin, shh."

"Sorry."

"It's possible because we're not humans, are we?" He said and I guess he had a point but even so, this kind of this just didn't happen.

"I know what you're thinking but we'll figure it out. Besides, I'm glad that it was you that I got connected to," he said and there I go smiling again. He seemed to randomly gain confidence then he'll suddenly shrink back and become hesitant again. I just hoped he wouldn't this time.

"Me too," I said and sincerely meant it. I hoped I left the same smile on his face that he left on mine.

We were silent for a moment. I made the decision that I wouldn't ask about what happened between him and Mike because he had already came clean about his self harm, as much as the truth did hurt me.

"Vic, when I go and try to find Mike I don't know if I'll have time to talk. I'll really try to communicate but I don't know if I'll be able to," I quickly remembered what the other thing was that I wanted to tell him.

"Ok," he said understandingly, "Just please be there when I really need you."

"I will be, don't worry," I tried assuring him.

"I'll try to stay away from the blade, I promise that I'll try. I just don't know how long it will be until I break again," he said and I could hear the pain in his voice.

"Vic, one day I promise I will hold you close and show you you're not broken."

~~~

This chapter seems short but hey ho. Do people even say hey ho anymore? Meh, who said I was human anyway.

I'M A DEMON WITH KELLIN.

Aaaaaaaanyway, I don't really know what's happening with the whole blood thing myself but I thought it was a good idea so I just added it in the story.

THANK YOU FOR READING ^.^