Hold Me Close | Kellic

Chapter 8

When I woke up the blood had dried around my wrists and thighs, staining the bed sheets. I sighed, getting up slowly to try and make the headache slightly better. I hadn't spoken to Vic for even five minutes last night, he'd only just about spoken to me at all. I knew that he had gone back to being depressed, it was as if that day he was happy was a one off and the days he's sad is constant. It should be the other way round.

My gaze wondered to the patches of dried blood and my head hurt even more when I started questioning the events of last night. Vic had something to do with why that happened to me, he had even apologised but I doubted completely that it was his fault.

Jack hadn't called for me and told me any news to say things are back to normal so I supposed today would be full of nothing. I sighed yet again and thought about trying to get through to Vic, I hadn't tried talking to him in the morning before so I wouldn't know unless I tried.

"Vic, can you hear me? Vic?" I said out loud, thinking it was more likely for him to hear me. There was no response but I wouldn't be able to go the whole day without knowing what happened to me the night before.

"Vic? Please answer me," I pleaded and eventually I got a response.

"I'm here, Kellin," he said but something was off. There was pain in his voice, physical pain. It sounded as though his whole body was tense and trying to shut out some pain he was feeling.

"Vic, are you OK? You sound hurt," I asked, my concern for him always growing.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. Lie.

"No, no you're not. Vic, the only way you'll feel better is if you talk to someone and I am that someone so talk to me, please?" I carried on pleading with him until I heard him sigh. I wasn't going to let the subject drop so easily.

VIC'S P.O.V

I sighed and debated whether I should tell Kellin about what happened or not. To be honest, I didn't really know what happened although I was certain it had something to do with what I did. But I never meant to hurt him, I only meant to do this to myself.

"Vic, please?" He kept asking and I could hear how much he actually cared in his voice and I almost gave in but I still wasn't sure.

I looked down at my bandaged wrists. Tony and Jaime would question me about it later although they'd figure it out but Kellin, I don't know what it was but I felt it would hurt him and make him more confused if he knew.

"Kellin, it's nothing. How did you manage to talk to me at this time anyway?" I asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you, I concentrated on your voice really hard and I began hearing things you've said before so I concentrated even harder until I found you. And don't change the subject! It's not nothing," he argued back. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks and a blush surfacing. I didn't expect him to try that hard for me and hearing the way he said 'I found you' made my breathing stop slightly.

"Oh," was all I said to his little explanation but I wasn't going to carry on talking about the cuts on my wrists. I hadn't done it since I was alive but it didn't make the pain go away like it did then.

I heard Kellin sigh before he spoke up, "Vic, what's going to make you happy?" I froze slightly at his question. The fact he wanted me to be happy was enough for me to tell him the only things.

"I want to be loved, Kellin! No one loves me and no one ever did. I have two friends and I can't even begin to say how grateful I am to have them but I want someone to love and for them to love me.. Although I had one form of love and that was Mike but he's where you are and I want to talk to him but I can't because it's my fault that he's there and I'm an awful brother for doing what I did to him. Kellin, all I need is to have my brother back and for someone to love me," I almost broke out in tears by the end of my little speech.