I sit alone in the corner of the gym. The basketball team just got done practicing so everyone is gone. I like to come watch them practice though they never notice me. I stay in the back or in the corner like I am now. Watching them play helps me take my mind off of things.
I start going through songs, my music is in shuffle which I instantly regret.
It's been a long day, without you my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.
SKIP!
It's been 5 months since you went away. Left without a word. Nothing to say.
SKIIIP!
What about all....your ten thousand promises. That you made to me?
Damn it! SKIP
Without you I feel broke. Like I'm half of a hole.
Mother f-
I throw my phone so it slides across the floor and I bury my face in my sweater. Everything reminds me of him. Why? Damn it! Why'd he have to die?!I start crying. Nothing new there. My heart hurts. After having a wall up for so long I finally let it down and let someone in to my heart just for them to die. Just for them to commit suicide! Damn it man I understand your pain and what led you there but why didn't you think about me and how hard I'd take it?! You said you loved me. Wanted to marry me. Yet look at us now! Was it all a lie?
I cry harder. I can't control it anymore. My head hurts now.
"Hey...are you ok? You need help?" I hear a soft male voice ask me. I know who it is. He doesn't care about me.
"I'm fine. Just go." I say sternly without looking up.
"Your not fine. Anyone can see that." He replies kindly. Why is he suddenly so nice?
"Just go! You don't care about me! No one does. Just leave me alone. Please..." I shout then end up crying more.
"Why won't you let me help you?" He asks and sits down next to me. I turn my back to him and he sighs.
"You don't even know who I am so why do you care?!" I snap at him. I still have my face buried in my jacket so he can't see me.
"Then tell me who you are."
"No. You'll just make fun of me."
"I won't. I promise."
"Ha! Lies!" I laugh and I can feel him getting mad
"Just let me help you! I hate seeing people cry!" He yells and grabs my hood and uncovers my head. I look up at him. The shock on his face speaks volumes to me.
"Told you, you wouldn't care." I say sadly and cover my head up again. He hands me my phone.
"Here. You dropped this." He says quietly
"'More like threw it but what does it matter..." I correct him and take my phone and put it in my pocket.
"Why'd you throw it?" He asks. Trying to get me to open up.
"I know your tricks Dragneel and I know you don't like me so just please leave me alone to my thoughts!" I snap at him and get up and run out of the gym. I don't hear footsteps behind me or him calling to me.
"Like I suspected. He doesn't care. No one does." I tell myself as I run away from the school.
After I get a block away I start walking. I'm not crying anymore but you can still see the sorrow and pain on my face. I stop by the grocery store on the way home to use the bathroom. It's the only public one I can access near my house. I go inside and use it to clean myself up and come back out.
"Man I look like hell." I mutter to myself as I leave the store.
"Nah. You don't look that bad. I've seen worse."
I freeze and turn to the voice. "You stalking me now?!" I yell and he flinched.
"No! I just had to stop by the store in the way home and you happen to be here." He says very matter-of-factly.
"Good! Now leave me alone." I say with anger in my voice and stomp away. "Damn it Dragneel. Your so dense!" I grumble on my way home.
I make it home and head straight to my room. I walked right past my grandma who doesn't budge from her spot in front of the door. I live with her since my parents are dead. My grandpa died a few years ago leaving it just us.
I turn on the radio to a random station and do my homework. I just like the noise in the background, it helps me concentrate.
I finish my homework and my phone rings. Unknown number. I sigh. Well if it's a prank caller I can cuss them out at least.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Is this Y/N?"
"Yes what do you want?"
"Wow you didn't tell me to go away this time. I'm surprised."
Right then I recognized the voice "What the hell do you want?!" I yell
"Sheesh calm down will ya? I'm just checking on you."
"Why do you suddenly care about me and how the hell did you get my number?!" I snap at him
"Sorry for trying to be nice. Damn. And I got your number from Levy. She's my friend to. I told her about today and she agreed to let me check on you."
"Why couldn't SHE check on me?!"
"I told her I wanted to."
"Oh she's gonna get a earful from me now! Well now you know I'm fine. Leave me alone!" I hang up on him.
Damn I hate him. He always ignored me before. Never wanted to talk to me or even look at me. It was like I was invisible to him. His friends noticed me but he just seemed to look past me or through me. I eventually stopped trying to talk to everyone. Except Levy. I spent a lot of time in the library reading and she was always there. We would just talk about books.
Levy was the only one that knew my situation. She helped me keep myself stable. Because I'm my own worst enemy. If it wasn't for Levy I would if completely given up on school, and life. She saved me. Literally.
I decide to call her. I want to talk to someone.
"Hello?"
"Levy. We need to talk."
"Oh. Hi Y/N. I take it Natsu called you? Heh." She laughs nervously.
"Yes He did. Levy you know I hate him! Why give him my number?!" I try not to yell but failed
"I'm sorry. He just sounded so concerned about you. I am to. He told me about your breakdown at the gym. He said he was the last one to leave and he heard you throw your phone and heard you crying. He said it broke his heart to hear your cry out in pain like that. He wants to help you Y/N, he really does. I've never heard him so upset."
Levy says with sincerity and I crack"Levy. You know why I don't like him. You know my past. I can't let someone else in. They will just leave me again! He's spent years ignoring me so why does he care now?! All the times I've cried there and he's never noticed me before! Levy. I can't. Tell him I said thank you for the concern but I'd rather him leave me alone. Like he always did. Bye Levy I'm going to sleep." I say and hang up before she could respond. I don't want to hear it.
I lay on my bed and fall asleep. Only to have my dreams flooded by nightmares and tears.
Even in my sleep I suffer.
💔
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YOU ARE READING
Healing ✔️ (Natsu x Reader)
FanfictionIn the story your name is Y/N and your having a hard time dealing with the suicide of your true love and then fiancé Dwayne. When he died you became extremely depressed and everyone soon forgot about you because you just wanted to be alone. The onl...