(NO-ONE'S POINT OF VIEW)
''Come on now, this is gone on too long.'' Lorenzo said, Bella ignored him reading the magazine that was then snatched from her hand.
''You've a family now Arabella, you can't throw it away for something so stupid.'' she shook her head.
''Mind your own business dad.'' she said plainly.
''No I fucking won't, you're my daughter and I hate seeing you so sad, and I hate seeing my grandkids worry, do you know Ethan asked me if you both where getting a divorce.'' he said, looking down at her left hand, she felt her mouth become dry.
''Where are my kids?'' she asked standing up he rubbed his face moving as little as he could, only after being release he was in a serious amount of pain but never showed it.
''They've gone to stay with Justin.'' she felt her heart break.
''Josh told them didn't he.'' her dad looked at the ground, her eyes welled up.
''They hate me don't they?''
''Of course not sweetie.'' he got up she moved back.
''Tell me the truth daddy.'' she said he sighed.
''They were a bit freak out and wanted to stay with him.''
''He'll make them hate me more and they won't come back to me.'' she sat down.
''No he won't baby you know that.'' she knew Justin wouldn't bad mouth her to their kids, it still didn't help that they were with him and not her.
''They're my babies, what will I do without them.'' she cried, he sat down beside her and hugged her tight.
''You need to make up with Justin honey.'' she wiped her eyes.
''Daddy he packed all his things.''
''What?'' Lorenzo frowned she sniffled.
''I was tidying the kids room when he came home, I asked what he was doing, he said what does it look like, he got all his stuff and left, took money as well, I thought it was just another fight that would blow over the next day but he's left me, we're actually over this time.'' her cried into her hands, all he could do was hug her whispering sweet words, times like this he really needed her mother here.
**
''They won't even answer my calls.'' Halle sat beside Bella.
''Sweetie, they're just a little spooked out they'll come around.'' she shook her head wiping a tear away.
''Mia hates me.'' Halle frowned, nothing in the world would turn Mia away from her mom, not the time Bella accidentally vacuumed her hamster, didn't feed her fish and they died, but now not wanting to talk to her, Bella knew all the kids would hate her if the youngest was acting like this.
''He won't even answer my calls, what if he took my kids away on me Halle, I don't even know where they are'' hugging her tight, smoothing her hair
''Josh is at mine, I've asked Jinx but he won't talk to me, we've been arguing over Megan and the baby.'' Bella looked up.
''Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, sitting here crying and you've your own problems, what's going on?'' she held her hand, Halle's shoulder's dropped.
''I thought he would get over it, giving she is 7 and a half months, but he doesn't talk to her, she's not eating or sleeping, she cries a lot and she won't tell Josh because you know he'll go mad upsetting her.''
''Jinx will come around when the baby gets here, come on you know him, once he sees that baby he will fall in love.'' Halle smiled slightly, knowing it was true; she just hated how it turned out.
''I probably won't be allowed to see our grandkid.'' Bella laughed once without humour.
''It'll never come down to that.''
I hope not, she thought
Not speaking to Justin for 4 weeks, not seeing or spoken to her kids in 3, it was really getting to her, she wasn't eating, she sat in the bed all day and night crying, she knew this was the end of her marriage, but she didn't want to think of her life without him or their kids.
''Aunty Bella.'' Bella heard Isabella call out, she got up off the bed and walked to the landing and looked over the banister.
''You alright love.'' she asked, Isabella smiled.
''Megan is in labour.''
''What?'' she gasped turning the light on.
''Oh my god Aunt Bella what happened.'' Isabella cried rushing over to her.
''It's nothing to worry about honey just feel over, when did she go into Labour.''
''Not long ago, my mom sent me over, she can't get through to your phone.'' Bella thought for her phone but couldn't put her head on where it was.
''Let me go get dressed.'' Isabella looked at the floor, Bella frowned.
''What?'' she asked, Isabella sighed and took her phone out giving it to Bella.
From: Kenzie
Josh doesn't want my mom down here.
Bella felt her world crumble. She looked at the text for a few minutes then gave the phone back.
''Can you do be a big favour.''
''Sure anything.''
''Will you let me know what she has and send me a picture?'' Looking wary at her aunt, she nodded.
''Thanks sweetie, you better go if you want to get down there.'' she kissed her cheek, Isabella unsurely left the house. Bella went upstairs into her closet to pack all her stuff; she put money into her purse and into her suitcase. After an hour she sat on the bed with pen and paper.
I never meant for it to turn out like this. You have every right to hate me; I kept something from use, that maybe I should have told you myself. Growing up without my mom around was hard, I was only a young girl and I had to step up, being mature, and take care of all my brothers and sister. I was very protective, no-one messed with any of them and if they did they had me to answer to. I hid my emotions away from your grandmother passing, I knew who done it and I wanted revenge, I'm not going to lie and say if I could take it back I would, but I wouldn't this is me, I fight for the people I love, the only time I'd kill now, is for my kids.
I know things are going to be hard now, it much harder to write this letter and let you be free. You are much better off with your dad than you ever where with me, he will keep you safe, keep you on the noble road, be good for him, and be there for each other.
Kenzie don't do what I done, you don't need to be a mother figure, you stay in school you achieve your goals, don't you dare drop out. Your dad is strong he can take care of you; he has been for the past 3 weeks and 1 day.
I love every single one of you with everything in me; the proudest moment of my life was bringing you eleven into the world.
Mom x
She folded that one and put the pen to paper again
You're right, I'll never change, I wish I could but I can't, I guess this Karma catching up on me huh. Don't beat yourself up over this, this was my decision to go, I know it shellfish, but you are all better off without me. Whatever happens in the future, if you fall in love again, I ask of one thing, please don't let the kids call her mom.
I should have said it a lot more, but I do love you, from the very first moment I saw you in my father's living room, I knew something would happen, the fights, the gangs, it was all worth, because I got you in the end.
I woke up every morning and I'd watched you sleep, thinking of everything we have been through and yet we were still together, it hard now, it's hard to say goodbye.
Take care of the kids, give our grandchild a big hug and kiss from me, Josh is going to be an incredible father just like you are
I love you to the moon and back.
x
She put Justin's letter onto his pillow and she went down stairs living the note for the kids on the counter. She picked her car keys up and put her suitcases in the car. Turning the alarm on, locking the door she looked at the house she has lived in for 21 years before driving away.
***
''I can't believe she didn't come.'' Justin said shaking his head in disgust.
''Her first born child, her grandchild and she's not here.'' he felt angry, like putting his fist through the wall or even Bella's face. He inwardly punched himself for thinking that.
''Josh didn't want her here.'' Isabella piped up.
''What?'' he asked she licked her lips and looked at Kenzie.
''He eh, he eh told me to tell her not to come and I told Izzy to tell her.'' Isabella eyes watered.
''Something happened.'' she let out a deep breath '' What happened Izzy?'' He asked standing up.
''She has a black eye when I went over, she said it was nothing, she was over the moon though.'' she closed her eyes tight'' I saw her heart break when she read the text message.''
''How fucking dare you.'' he spat at Kenzie, she was about to open her mouth, he left the room and ran to his car, as bad as it sounds he didn't care to wait around and see how his grandchild was, he needed to go back to her. He pulled up out front, just as Kenzie pulled up.
''Dadd-
''Don't.'' he said to her, he opened the door, and the alarm was on he frowned turning to off.
''Pigeon!'' he called out not hearing anything.
''Dad.'' Kenzie cried, he rushed to her in the kitchen seeing her reading something he walked over taking the paper from her.
''No.'' he whispered letting the paper fall to the floor he ran up to the master bedroom into the closet seeing half of her clothes gone and suitcases. He opened the safe seeing 60 thousands gone from it.
''Pigeon.'' he whispered before looking at their bed, where he saw a white piece of paper on his pillow. He slowly unfolded it, he saw the smudge tear drop belonging to her and one of his own hit the paper.
''Dad.'' he heard Kale say, he looked up at the door to see Kale, Jason, Kenzie Annabelle.
''She's gone.'' he said looking down at the piece of paper.
''Took her clothes, took money, and left her eternity engagement and wedding ring.'' they gasped.
''She's gone.'' he whispered, tears poured down his cheeks.
The hall door shot open and footsteps ran upstairs, the kids step aside as her dad and her brothers Vincent and Paul came in.
''What's wrong where is she?'' Lorenzo demanded, Justin shrugged.
''I don't know, she left.'' he said.
''What do you mean she left?''
''She's gone, took her shit, took money and fucking left, gave me permission to move on and fall in love, that kind of left.'' he shouted at his father in law.
''I thought she knew you kids where over, but I never thought she'd leave the children.'' Lorenzo sat on the sofa looking at the floor.
''What the fuck do you mean she knew we were over, we weren't over?''
''Oh so you just never contacted her packed your fucking crap and left her for 3 weeks, the kids wouldn't even return her calls, she spent day and night crying, she doesn't eat and if she does she throws it all back up from crying so much, what did you expect, her to sit here while you lot where together, it doesn't surprise me to be honest it doesn't.'' he shook his head and looked at his grandchildren.
''Your mother murdered people, she took fathers, sons' brother from people, but she done it to keep the people she loves safe, she never came home not caring she came home and she would cry, not matter how bad those men were she would cry in my arms because someone lost a loved one, you need to get the fuck over it, because that's my little girl heartbroken out there on her own, that's your mother, the only mother you'll ever have, she lost her's, she never got the option to keep her's but you lot do, because you were angry with her you tore her apart.'' his eyes glossed.
One by one the kid's hearts broke.
''We've to find her, or we'll never see her again.'' Paul said Justin stood up.
''You do not leave this house, lock that door after we leave.'' Kenzie nodded looking down, he couldn't be mad at her, she just passed a message on.
''I'll find her don't worry baby.'' he kissed her head.
''Where would she be, you know your wife better than anyone.'' Vinny said.
''Knowing Bella, she'll leave the country.''
Searching the airport, checking her cards online, nothing not a thing. Her brothers went to their mom's grave she was a no show, rang up friends and family to see if she was with them, but never led them on to think she had left.
''Dad.'' he turned to see Josh.
''How's Megan?'' he asked.
''She's good, they managed to stop the contractions so they have her on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy.'' he nodded.
''I was mad at her, that she didn't tell me, I shouldn't have told Kenzie to tell her not to come.''
''You're right you shouldn't have, that's your mom, the women who gave life to you.''
''And your wife, you think that wouldn't hurt her huh leaving her, I heard Halle say she was torn after you got your stuff, why did you get your shit dad huh was it for her to get a glimpse of a life without you?'' he asked.
''You've no idea why you're talking about boy.''
''I do, I heard the fights I hear her cry in the laundry room, she goes in their thinking no one will look for her, but when use fight every single time she'll go in there and cry, I'm not a damn kid no more dad.'' Justin was about to snap but before he could a red eyed Mia came into the room.
''Mommy's clothes are gone.'' she whispered, Justin sucked in a breath.
''Just for a little while, on a holiday she will be back.'' Mia sobbed sliding to the floor, both Justin and Josh's heart strings pulled.
''Hey now, none of this, she'll be back.'' Justin picked her up, held her till she calm down, then just like that a light bulb went off in his head.
''Mia princess, remember you and mommy had a special place.'' Mia nodded.
''Honey where was that.'' Mia frowned.
''That's mine and mommy place, I'm not allowed to say.'' Justin patience was letting out.
''Just tell daddy ok, I promise not to tell anyone else'' she was about to open her mouth when he heard a lot of commotion.
''MOM'' he head many cries.
He left the kitchen in a blink of an eye to see all the kids huddled around a crouching figure.
''Mommy.'' Mia sobbed, he watched his kids move out of the way for the youngest sibling.
''Hey baby doll'' he heard her whisper, hearing her voice, his heart jump in his chest. She hugged and kissed each of the kids.
''Mom I'm so sorry I was just angry.'' Josh croaked she smiled and hugged him.
''Don't worry about it sweetie, so tell me the baby here yet.'' she wiped his tears away, he shook his head.
''No she's on bed rest for the next few weeks.''
''God poor girl, is she home.''
''Yeah.'' she smiled and she looked over at Justin, his heart broke when she looked at the floor, her expression reminded him of the time they found her in the hills in her dad's hide away, she was terrified and that hurt him more, she was afraid of him right now.
She smiled down at Mia who was hugging her legs, she ran her hand through her hair, and she heard him walking over, she looked up when he stood in front of her, seeing tears in his eyes bags under his eyes, and thinner, done it for her. He wiped a tear away and he kissed her hard, their tears mixing. He pulled her over kissing all over her face and he hugged her tight, nuzzling into her neck, her chest was tight hearing him sniffling. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Jason picked Mia up and all the kids went into the living room leaving their parents to it.
''I'm so sorry Bella, I so fucking sorry, I shouldn't have let my anger get in the way of us, I know I shouldn't have brought him I know that now, if I could turn back time I would. I thought maybe we were better off apart but I can't live without you, you're my wife, my best friend, my soul mate, being away from you, I may as well be dead, I love our kids to death but you're mine, you're my girl I can't give you up.'' she cried into his chest.
It was relief, relief he still wanted her.
''I'm so sorry.'' he shook his head hugging her tight.
''You've nothing to be sorry for.'' she shook her head.
''I do, I know I'm not easy to live with but I'll change I swear I will.'' he tucked her hair behind her ear.
''Don't you ever change ok, I just want you to talk to me ok, you feel sad talk to me, angry talk to me ok, I don't want you to hide away ok.'' she nodded he wiped her tears away.
''I couldn't do it.'' she started taking a deep breath '' I couldn't run away from my kids, I couldn't run away from you. I was driving and I just thought, what the hell am I doing I can't leave my family couldn't leave my kids my husband'''
''I'm glad you came back.'' he said she gave him a half a smile, he wrapped his arms around her back and rested his head on her's .
''To think I'd never see you again, not wake up and see you there, see you in the kitchen making breakfast.'' his voice broke and his eyes glossed over, she wiped away a tear just as it fell.
''You don't have to worry about that, because I'm not going anywhere, I promise Justin.'' he nodded she got on her tippy toes and cradled his face and kissed him.
Someone cleared their throat causing them to pull out, she turned her head to see Kenzie standing their looking anywhere but them, Bella looked at Justin, he nodded kissing her cheek letting her go and she walked over to her eldest daughter.
''Mo-''
''Don't, I'm not mad ok, you have the right to be angry with me.'' Kenzie shook her head and put her head in her hands and cried.
''Hey baby its ok.'' Bella cradled her kissing her head, it hurt more seeing any of her kids crying.
''Listen we are going to talk ok, and then we are going to put this behind us.'' Justin said walking over; Kenzie nodded wiping her cheeks and hugged her mom tight.
Returning into the living room, they looked at Josh Kenzie, Kale, Annabella, Alicia, Travis Sophia, Jason and Jasper, they left the room leaving Ethan and Mia in the living room, they were way too young to understand, but they knew and Bella would talk to them alone.
''So Josh told you what he heard?'' she asked, they hesitated but nodded.
''I'm not mad that you kids were mad at me, if my mom had done that and I found out I would have been livid.'' she leaned against the counter top.
''My mom was literally my best friend in the entire world, we were a close family, you hurt one you hurt the lot. You all know who grandpa is and what is involved in his work, but almost 29 years ago one of grandpa's rivals killed grandma at the super market.'' her eyes darkened as she talked about it, she hasn't spoken about it in such a long time.
''She was pregnant, we were over the moon but myself and Gabby.'' she smiled at the memory '' we thought it was the best thing in the world, having 6 brothers and only 1 sister and another girl on the way was the best thing ever, but then they were murdered.'' she left out a deep breath.
''We fell apart, my dad barely spoke to us, I had to step up, mature way beyond my years and be there for my siblings, I heard my dad talking one day about who could have killed her, I done my own asking around, only 15 and I was feared because of who my father was. I asked around I threatened people until I found out who killed her'' she looked at the faces of her kids'' I found out who killed her, at the time I was in shock I didn't know what to do, I had siblings to take care of, they were number one, then when I was almost 16, my dad told me I was getting married, to someone I didn't know'' they all looked at each other'' I freaked out I ran away from home, only Gabby knew, I couldn't stay at home and be a wife to someone I didn't know. My anger boiled up so eventually I got a plane to Italy, the man who killed my mom, I didn't kill him then but I burned out his ware houses where he had his weapons and his drug money, I then flew to New Mexico for 8 months then I moved to New Zealand for 2 years and 4 months.'' the kids whispered to each other.
''Who was it you had to marry?'' Jasper asked, she smiled and looked at Justin who looked back at her and winked.
''Your dad.'' they looked confused.
''I didn't know who it was until I came back, I only came home because Gabby was being forced into a marriage with uncle Jaxon.'' now they were confused she laughed.
''I know it' confusing, I knew they liked each other so I told them to hold off until they fell in love, it was a plan though, my dad said he knew deep down she knew where I was because she was never upset about me going, he had to figure a way and that got me home, I found out it was your dad who I was supposed to marry, we became friends, then we stopped being friends, because I didn't like the life he lived.'' she looked at him.
''The selling drugs, the fighting, the girls, I just couldn't be away from him, I grew up around that all my life, I thought I didn't want it but I did, whatever way I could take him I did.'' she took a deep breath.
''We got together it was good at the start, then rivals came into town, nothing happened at the time, but after my 21st Birthday.'' both her and Justin smiled '' we went away to Grandpa's villa in Europe and well we were engaged everything was going great until Santiago came into town.'' she growled, the kids looked at each other and back to her.
''He feared me because he knew what I was capable of, I killed his men and he knew I was coming for him.'' her fist clenched
''He knocked me out and when I woke up both your dad and I were tied to a chair with dead men surrounding us ''she frowned.'' he burned your dad's hand with a blow torch that done it for me, I got out of the ropes and I picked the knife at my foot and stabbed him in the back.'' she looked at their faces, not one was horrified, yet.
''The pain and anger I held in all them years I got it out, I eh I.'' she paused shaking her head
''Go on mom what ever happened we love you know matter what, and if someone took you from us, you can count on it we'd do worse.'' Annabelle said, she gave her a soft smile.
''I decapitated him.'' she looked at their faces, when it was ok to go on she did.
''I ran away and I skinned him till the bone and kept it with me, so I'd know he never will come back.'' she said, they looked at each other.
''And now we are here?'' she chuckled shaking her head.
''No.'' she shook her head and looked at Justin he walked over to her, leaned against the counter and he pulled her in front of him wrapping his arms around her waist and she leaned back into him.
''I was raped.'' she heard multiple gasped.
''6 days after it happened I was returning home, 3 guys pulled me into a van, the first guy raped me, before the others could I got away, a week or so later, your dad and Jinx found me, I couldn't be around him anymore not after what happened so I got money from my dad and I left.'' she took a deep breath.
''I found out I was pregnant when I was in south Africa, at the time I was taking drugs and drinking, I couldn't have a baby and look into its eyes to see the man who raped me, yet I couldn't abort it, thankfully, I know it's terrible but I miscarried, it never affected me until I met young girls no older than 9 tell me they were raped, those little girls innocent was stolen from them and they were still smiling, they opened my eyes, I couldn't sit around and sulk, I stayed there for a few months working then I travelled around for 12 months, I came home just before Isabella was born, my first time being an aunt I couldn't miss it, couldn't miss my sister become a mom. Nothing much happened after that, well other than arguing with your dad, I had told him who had rape me and he knew the guys, he told grandpa and grandpa took care of the other 2 guys but the one who had raped me was left to your dad, and well you don't need the details.'' she took a breath.
''After that night we took things slow, we got back together I think 3 or so weeks later when we were babysitting Izzy, then a few months later we were engaged 3 days after he asked me to marry him we got married in Vegas, 6 weeks later we found out we were pregnant.'' she looked at Josh and winked at him.
''There was a few fights over the years but that was the end of the Santiago situation until his son came into town'' she growled. '' I would have killed him that night he was in the house, but Josh was their so I couldn't, and well that's it'' she said nodding they looked at each other.
''Why was that man after you though, why did he kill grandma?'' Alicia asked frowning, Justin kiss Bella's neck.
''When I was 11 I was minding my brothers and sister, I wanted to show I was mature, Vincent was at his friends and 9 men broke into the house, I hid your aunt and uncles in the basement, but somehow Gabby got out crying for me, I ran to her and two men were trying to'' she took a deep breath as her eyes welled up, she wiped the tears away.
''They tried to rape her, that's was my first time fighting, I remember pushing one into the glass table and slicing him with glass, I got Gabby out of there to ring my dad and my mom, those men crowded around me in the living room, I was helpless until they started attacking, I was 11 years of age but I gave them a run for their money, I had used my grandfather's sword on one and my fist on the others, when my dad came in ten minutes later with his men, I was on top of a man beating him to death, before I could my dad pulled me off him, one of them men where another one of Santiago's son's and well grandpa had tortured them in the warehouse behind the big house, so his revenge was killing my mom, he just didn't expect her daughter to be the one he fear until the moment I took his life.'' she felt a massive weight off her shoulders.
''Ok.'' Kale said nodding, she bit her lip.
''Mom you're so strong.'' Alicia said.
''So use don't hate me?'' they laughed coming home giving her a group hug, she let out a gush of air and hugged them tight.
''I love use so much.'' she said
''We love you too.'' they said in unison.
