((NO-ONE'S POINT OF VIEW))
''Anyone else hungry?'' Sophie asked, making everyone laughed.
''My sweet little sofi.'' Bella cooed kissing all over her face making her groan.
''Mom.'' she mumbled, Bella laughed and looked at the faces of all her kids, then the kitchen door opened and Mia walked in soon followed by her brother.
''So what's everyone fancy for dinner?'' she asked kissing Ethan's head, while Justin picked Mia up sitting her on the counter.
''Pizza.'' Most of them said.
''Alright get in a sit down and I'll order, no fighting.'' they all smiled hugging her one by one before leaving the kitchen.
''You ok dolly?'' Mia nodded slowly; Bella titled her chin and kissed her nose.
''McDonalds.'' she whispered, Mia nodded shyly Bella laughed putting her on the ground and looked at Justin who was looking at her.
''You order the pizza I'll bring her to Mcdonals' and get us Chinese on the way back.''
''Josh can go.'' she shook her head, catching his frown.
''I'm not going anywhere.'' he looked out the kitchen window out to the distance, she kissed Mia.
''Go get your shoes and Jacket on and ask if anyone wants Macker's.'' she nodded leaving the room and Bella walked over and hugged him from behind.
''I promise I'm not going anywhere...kiddo.'' his body moved a little, indicating he was chuckling, she smiled against his back and he picked her hand up and kissed the back of it. He looked at her over his shoulder and he moved his hand into his pocket, she frowned confused until she felt rings slip on her finger, she turned to the side to see him sliding her rings on her hands.
''Never again Pidge, never take them off.'' she nodded, he turned to her and she cradled his face and kissed him hard.
''I love you so much Bieber.'' he smiled tucking her hand behind her ear.
''I love you too baby.'' he pecked her softly.
''Mom come on.'' she heard Ethan groan, she chuckled and looked over her shoulder seeing Ethan and Mia.
''You want Mackers?''
''And Pizza.'' he said she laughed shaking her head, kissed Justin's cheek and picked her bag up taking her wallet out.
''Put this envelope up stairs.'' she nodded to her bag he looked at her confused until he looked in the bag, it was the money she took from the staff.
''Oh right yeah I'll do that now be careful.'' she turned to the kids.
''Right kids lets go.'' she picked her car keys up, Justin pulled her back kissed her hard she laughed.
''Dad leave her alone.'' Ethan groaned pulling her arm, Bella laughed as she was dragged away.
''Won't be long!'' she called out closing the door.
''So where have you kids been staying?'' she asked, Ethan shifted nervously in his seat, she looked at him for a spilt second then back to the roads.
''Canada, we were enrolled in home school for those few weeks.'' she nodded slowly.
''Figured, since I couldn't find use over here.'' she said, he frowned she smiled at him stopping at a red light, she reached over rubbed his cheek and squeezed his hand.
''It's all ok now baby.'' he nodded giving her a small smile.
''Green light.'' he nodded ahead, she chuckled turning the radio on slipping in the Christmas CD.
''Mom when can we put the decorations up?'' Mia asked from the back seat, bopping away to the song.
''Tomorrow we can do it since its Saturday!'' Mia cheered, Ethan chuckled changing the station.
''Hey leave it on!'' Mia yelled.
''No I hate that song.''
''But I like it.''
''Though.''
''Mommy tell him.''
''Ethan be nice.''
''I hate that song mom.'' she smiled, she sure as hell did miss this arguing.
''We're at McDonald's now so turn it down.'' Sighing he turned it down.
''What do use want?'' she asked.
''Big mac.'' Ethan said.
''Happy meal.''
''Can I have a ham burger happy meal, big mac, both drinks 7 up no ice and two chocolate sundaes extra chocolate.'' she said into the speaker.
''Anything else?''
''No thanks.''
''That'll be $13.40, pay at the next booth.''
''Thanks.'' she said before driving up and gave the money up and moved to the next booth.
''Thanks darling.'' she said taking the food and drinks from the young guy and put them on Ethan lap and drove back to the Chinese restaurant to collect the food she had ordered over the phone.
''Right I'll only be a few minutes do not kill each other.'' they nodded, she grabbed her wallet and went into the restaurant.
''Hey I'm to collect a delivery for Bieber.'' she said to the man over the counter.
''Ah yes, $24.50.'' giving the money over and thanking the guy she headed back to the car and back home to see Justin at the door with the pizza guy.
''Ethan grab some.'' she said to him, he nodded walking over helping his dad and she locked the car after Mia got out.
''I'll put the ice cream in the fridge until you're finished ok, eat it all.''
''Hi.'' she smiled at the young pizza guy who eyes travelled up and down her body licking his lips.
''Goodbye.'' Justin bit out, she chuckled under her breath, kissing the corner of his mouth and walked into the house, she put the bag on the counter and took her heels off.
''That feel's good.'' she said bending her toes, she took two plates out of the cupboard and put the chicken curry the fried rice and fries onto the plates, she dip a cracker into the curry sauce when she felt arms around her waist and lips on her neck.
''You smell really good.'' Justin mumbled kissing her neck; she smiled feeling a shiver running down her spine, a good shiver.
''Ok lover boy, food first.''
''Hmmm first food, what's for dessert?'' he kissed behind her ear.
''Ice cream or me, you choose.''
''Hmmm such a hard decision.'' she scoffed dipping a finger into the curry sauce he laughed turning her around and kissed her.
''Taste's good.'' he licked his lips and looked down at the plates.
''Inside?'' he asked she nodded.
''You get the drinks I'll bring them inside.'' she nodded walking to the fridge taking a bottle beer out and poured herself a glass of wine and went into the living room and sat down beside him while the kids sat on the other sofa under blankets eating their pizza.
''When are we putting the Christmas decorations up mom?'' Kale asked with a mouthful of pizza
''Tomorrow afternoon'' he nodded looking back at the telly
''Curry sauce.'' she said to herself putting her plate on the coffee table and got up and walked back into the kitchen then back into the living room.
''Feels good to be back here with mom, I hate being away from her and this house.'' she heard Travis say.
''I hear ya bro.'' Annabella mumbled.
''Hey guys come on now we're back home ok that's the past we look forward to the future, we've Christmas, we've another little Bieber coming along, it's all going to be goods, I'll make sure of it.'' Justin said, she smiled and walked back into the living room and sat down.
''Josh love tell me about Megan.'' she said Josh looked at her.
''Early labour, they had to stop her waters, because she's 6 weeks left, we brought her home so she's just in bed chilling out, I'm going to go over to her later, she feeling very frustrate and tired.''
''Joys of being pregnant, after 6 months she won't get sleep until the baby is about 4.'' Josh chuckled.
''If you and dad can do it with eleven I can do it with one.'' Justin and Bella laughed.
''You could have a baby who sleeps all the time, just like Alicia did, she was barely ever awake when she was under 1, and then you can have a crier like Jason.'' Jason scoff Justin laughed.
''Every child is different, but you learn about your own on your own time, you just need to get used to it, we were nervous wrecks when you came along.'' Bella cleared her throat.
''Ok, ok I was a nervous wreck but I got through it, no sleep, no alone time, barely any time to eat, no sex.'' the kids gagged while Josh eyes widen.
''What your father is trying to say, it's going to be hard but you're cut out for it, just remember we are here for whenever you and Megan need a break or if you want to go on date, but I warn you now, wear a damn condom the next time.'' he groaned.
''Mom.''
''Hey I diaper it for years I can talk about it.'' they all laughed.
''I'll pop over to Halle's tomorrow and see how she is.'' Justin leaned over and kissed her neck she smiled and picked her fork up and looked at the telly.
''No turn this crap off.'' Jasper mumbled.
''No.'' Annabelle said she loved teen mom.
''Yeah Anna I'm sick of watching this crap.'' he said snatching the remote back.
''Watch your mouth kid or you won't be watching the telly for a long time.'' Justin said, Bella nudged him in the ribs, he humped and looked at her she smiled and looked away.
''You know what starts in 4 minutes.'' she said looking at her watch.
''What?'' they all asked.
''Elf, that's a good movie right?'' she asked them.
''What station?''
''Sky family.'' she said, fighting over the remote who gets to put it on she couldn't help but laughed, she had missed the arguments amongst the children so she wasn't stopping it.
''Give me the damn thing.'' Josh snapped it from them and put it on.
''There happy.'' he rolled his eyes she chuckled chewing on her food.
''Ice cream anyone?'' Justin asked standing up picking up their plates.
''Yeah.'' he nodded leaving the room, she pulled the blanket from behind the sofa and put it over herself picking up her glass of wine, taking a sip see put it on the table to her left beside the lamp.
''Someone give me a hand.'' they all clapped.
''Smart fucker's.'' she laughed getting up going into help; he turned to see who it was and smiled.
''Bowls are better, they'll kill each other for the tube.'' she said opening the cupboard taking out bowls and the ice cream scooper, he moved out of her way letting her do it and leave on against the counter watching her, a strand of hair fell in front of her face, he reached his arm over tucking it behind her ear, she smiled and opened the fridge taking one chocolate sundaes out.
''Today some time.'' one of the kids call.
''Pushy little fucks.'' he mumbled she laughed and she went into the room with 2 sundaes for Mia and Ethan.
''You want yours get in and get it.'' they all groaned one by one and got up, Annabelle Kenzie and Sophia stead where they are, their brothers would bring theirs in for them.
''Thanks mom.'' she nodded putting the empty tubs of ben and jerry in the bin as they left the room she opened the freezer and took out a big tub.
''For us.'' she said Justin laughed taking two spoons out she smiled and they went back inside, under the covers she turned into his side, one arm was around her while the other hand was holding his spoon.
''How come use got the tub?'' Kale frowned.
''Because we can.'' Justin said she chuckled looking at the telly, while Kale mumbled under his breath about that not being fair.
''There's more blocks of ice cream in the freezer and choc ice's, if you have more and you complain of a sore stomach later don't come running to me.'' she said, from the corner of her eye he left the room and a minute later came back with handfuls and handed out them out to his siblings.
During the movie, the ice cream was eating and Bella and Justin where cuddling under the blanket, enjoying family time, until the house phone rang, she groaned and pushed herself up and took the cover off and walked over.
''Hello?'' she asked.
''Arabella.'' her dad breathed a sigh of relief.
''Hey daddy.'' she said and walked out the door.
''Cookie you're home!'' he shouted angry and happy, she smiled.
''Yeah I eh I couldn't leave, I just couldn't, I'm so sorry for worrying you.''
''God you're a women, but I feel like going over and slapping some sense into you.'' she chuckled.
''I missed you too daddy.'' he chuckled softly.
''How are you how is everything you need anything at all.''
''No I'm good, we're good, we got a lot of talking to do but we're good, having family night in watching the telly.''
''That's good, look I'll let you get back in to them and I'll let the other's no you're back, there won't be some happy ones but you can deal with it tomorrow.''
''Thanks daddy, I'll pop over tomorrow.''
''Ok sweetie goodnight, I love you.''
''I love you too bye.'' she hung up and walked back into the living room, she put the phone back into the stand and sat down beside Justin, he moved his arm so she could lay her head on his chest, his ran his hand through her hair.
''Everything ok?'' he whispered she nodded leaning her head back looking at him.
''He didn't say why he rang but when he heard me he was relieved I'll pop over to the house tomorrow.'' he nodded kissing her forehead.
***
''Hello?'' Bella answered her phone.
''Mom where are you, thought we were doing the decorations?'' Alicia asked down the phone.
''I'm over at grandpa and grandma's, I'm coming home now get a move on getting things out of the attic and your brothers are to help.''
''Ok bye.''
''Christmas decorations.'' Mag laughed.
''When you're done at yours you can do ours.'' she laughed.
''Not a chance, I'm going sit back let them do the work.'' they laughed.
''So you and Justin are good?'' her dad asked she nodded.
''We haven't talked yet, we were watching telly till late with the kids and we all crashed we'll talk tonight when the kids go to bed, we've no choice, I want everything on the table and just move by it, start the new year a clean slate.'' her dad smiled kissing her head.
''You drive safe baby.'' he kissed her head she hugged him.
''Ring you later Mags.'' she hugged and kissed her cheek before getting into the car and driving home, she beep the car and the door opened, Kenzie stood there.
''I've bags come on.'' she said opening the boot, Kenzie came over helping her take in some new decoration she bought at Wal-Mart.
''Hey what's wrong?'' she asked, Kenzie gave a fake smile shaking her head, Bella closed the boot.
''Kens what's wrong?'' she shook her head her eyes watering.
''I just missed you.'' she shrugged, Bella stomach turned.
''Hey I'm here now I'm not going anywhere ok I promise, you're stuck with me.'' Kenzie nodded hugging her tight, Bella kissed her head, her own eyes welling up, her kids hurting because of her shellfish reason killed her.
''Come on its cold out here.'' she kissed her daughter's forehead who nodded, locking the car they went into the house, Justin was sitting on the stairs of the foyer when they went in.
''You ok hon?'' he asked Kenzie she nodded walking into the living room to the commotion her brothers and sisters where making.
''What's wrong Pidge?'' he asked seeing her glassy eyes, she shook her head, he walked over to her tilting her chin.
''I'm just so fucking shellfish, I didn't even think of how they would feel that moment when they found that letter.'' he swallowed hard.
''It was her, she was the one who read it.'' she said, he nodded slowly she shook her head and a tear slid down her cheek
''Hey now come on what happened to moving passed this.'' he whispered wiping her cheeks.
''She may never get over that, I know if I was her I wouldn't.''
''Honey she will, it's still a little raw, it was only yesterday, our kids are hard as nails, she be grand in a day or two when she realizes everything is going to be ok?'' she nodded.
''We need to talk later.'' they colour went from his face, she fought a smile away.
''Nothing serious you Muppet I just want to lay in bed and just talk to you.'' he let out a deep breath.
''You could of just said that idiot.'' he pushed her she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.
''Ok we get it you love each other but mom seriously come on already.'' Alicia groaned in frustration, Justin glared at her while Bella laughed. She patted Justin's chest before walking into the living where all the kids sat with boxes of Christmas decoration. She took of her cardigan and put her bag on the floor.
''It's going to be a long day.'' she thought before helping the boys take the Christmas tree out of the box.
''Babe get use a screw driver and unwrap the extension leads.'' she said to Justin who nodded leaving the living room.
Having such a big house and having so much to put up it took at most 6 hours to have everything up and lit up.
''It's so pretty.'' Mia gushed looking up at the house, There was gorgeous fancy wrapping around the pillars holding the front of the house up white lights around the gutters and side of the house and the small trees had white lights wrapped around them, there where lovely decorations in the windows, it looked really good.
''Yeah sis it is.'' Jason said picking her up, she wrapped her small arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder while yawning.
''I think I'm going to go to bed.'' Jasper yawned receiving a lot of mummers of agreement.
''Yeah you better because Christmas shopping tomorrow and I need to know what you want so we can make a list to Santa Claus.'' Bella said they nodded Mia smiled before closing her eyes.
''What budget do we have each this year?'' Kenzie asked her parents.
''We'll talk about it tonight and you'll know tomorrow.'' Justin said wrapping his arm around his wife pulling her close to his chest keeping her warm.
''It'd just top it off if it snowed.'' he hummed kissing her red nose.
''Come on let's go inside before we all catch our deaths.''
Returning into the house, the kids kissed and hugged their parent's goodnight and Justin locked down stairs up before going up to Bella who was in her jammies already under the covers. Stripping down to his navy boxers he got under the covers wrapping his arms around her. Bella turned on her side so she was facing him; he rested his head on the pillow looking at her.
''I've so much anger and sadness trapped inside me, I don't know how to get it out and because I have that, it's fucking my brain up and it's putting our relationship on the rocks.'' she said softly.
''I shouldn't have blown up on you that day, Josh was about to find out sooner or later, I was angry that his mom the women he thought was perfect had this huge secret that I was hiding for 20 years, it pisses me off knowing I'll never be a good enough mom for them or a wife for you.'' he opened his mouth but she held her hands up.
''Don't please just let me talk.'' he nodded once his hand resting on the side of her thigh.
''I'm not going to always blame my anger on my mom dying, yes it's a big part of it, but before she died, I had matured way beyond my years. When my brothers and sister where younger Vinny hated being around us because he thought he was too cool to be seeing with his little sisters and brothers so then I stepped up, I stopped playing with my friends so I could be there from them, I'd walk to school and come home with them, I just locked my feelings in all these years and it's hard to open up, but I realized I have no choice to open up when you took the kids to Canada'' she looked away from him to the ceiling. ''I used to lay here and think of how much I was closing myself up away from you, I used to think people got married for a family and be loved till you die but it's not, it's still all about having a family and having the one person to love, but it's a friendship you've your best friend in the entire world who is also your soul mate, he is there for your love your strength and your happiness, someone who you yell all your feeling to yet cry on his shoulder and the thought of not having that having you.'' she shook her head letting out a deep breath.
''It's either lose you or tell you how I feel so I'm going to tell you how I feel, you up for it?'' he nodded rubbing her leg.
''I love my dad but at one stage in my life I hated him, like I wanted a different dad.'' she closed her eyes.
''When I found out who my dad was I was confused, this great loveable family guy was like that, I used to lay awake and night and worry about all our safety, that was so much for a 8 year old yet my dad still kept at his job, he could have stepped down and we could have moved away but he didn't and I hated him for that. I hated him for being a bully for pretending he work for the government, I hate how my brothers and sister would look up at him and think he is a great guy when I'd sit their thinking "I know all about your dirty little secret" but I couldn't he was loveable yet he was scary. When time went on I had no choice but to keep it to myself until one day my dad found out I followed him and I saw what he really was, he sat me down telling me it's his line of work to take out bad man so mom and us kids would be safe.'' she chuckled
''I was dead wide he thought I was stupid, I was 9 and I had a brain of a 20 year old. I barely spoke to him only little words here and their until one night it hit me, if he was this big shot my brothers and sister needed someone to protect them which is when I stepped up, I lost my childhood because I protected them and I hated it. Don't get me wrong I love every bone in their bodies, but it would've been nice you know, to be like all those other little girls who would play and fall scrap there knee and daddy would give it the magic kiss.'' he nodded she shrugged.
''My anger will always lead to my childhood, I won't ever get over that, but I moved on from it because I had no choice to'' she looked at him his expression was gently and loving
''Did your mom know that you knew'' she shook her head
''My dad feared that, my mom would have killed my dad, no matter how much she loved him, when it came to one of us finding out the truth she'd kill him, so I bribed him, every Friday he'd give me fifty bucks to keep my mouth shuts which I happily excepted, I hated holding the secret and I knew I couldn't tell anyone so why not make some money out of it.'' he laughed shaking his head she smiled.
''Its true what they say, a dad is a son first hero and a daughters first love, I love my dad to death but his line of work I'll never forgive, he couldn't help who he was, it's just something I've never like.''
''Is that why you didn't want to be with me all those years ago?'' she nodded.
''I wanted a new start, where the guy didn't know what went on with my family and was just a noble guy.'' he frowned she laughed.
''Could you imagined me sitting at home with the three kids waiting for my business husband to come home and tell me about his day in the office.'' she chuckled shaking her head.
''Yeah Like I'd give my life up with you and the kids for normal.'' he smiled rubbing her jawline.
''I'm glad you told me, I'm really glad.'' she smiled softly.
''Anything else on your mind?'' she chuckled.
''I've a whole book of stuff, you sure you want to hear it all now?''
''It's what I am here for in it, your strength and shoulder to cry on.'' he said she smiled and leaned over and kissed him softly.
''I still have nightmares about Santiago.''
