The Unpredictable And The Orderly

XIII

Kurt was nervous for his first day of Cheerios practice with the rest of the girls.

He headed to Sue's office beforehand, as she had instructed him.

"Ah, Porcelain, right on time. I would like to give you this." She said, handing a box to him.

Confused, he opened it. It was a Cheerios cheerleading suit, but it had pants instead of a skirt.

He gulped. "Um, aren't these rather tight?"

"Yep. I have to show off the perfect forms of my Cheerios. Now get changed so I can see how you look in it." He headed to the bathroom down the hall and got changed, only to find that it was a bit big.

He walked back to her, and she frowned. "Too big. I got a smaller size, try it on."

He did that, and this time it fit perfectly. He felt like his fat was painfully obvious in it, but he walked back to the office anyway.

"Hm. Well, Porcelain, congratulations. You're the smallest of my Cheerios." She said.

"Smallest? How?" He asked in disbelief.

She shrugged. "You just are. Anyway, let's go introduce you to the rest of the Cheerios."

As they walked to the auditorium, Kurt crossed his arms over his stomach. He felt self-conscious in such form-fitting clothes.

"Alright, this is our newest member, Porcelain!" Sue announced.

"Um, Kurt Hummel." Kurt said quietly.

"Why are you covering your stomach? Move your arms." A blonde he had never seen before demanded. Everyone looked at his stomach, making him uncomfortable.

He moved his arms to his sides, bracing himself for insults.

"Lady Hummel, you're thin!" Santana exclaimed.

Kurt gave her a confused look. "Is that a joke?"

"Why do we need a guy on the Cheerios?" A brunette asked.

"Because, we someone who isn't female to lift girls in the air. He's extremely fit and flexible. He's also not about to check you out, he's gay." Sue said.

"Announce my sexuality, why don't you?" Kurt commented sarcastically.

"I knew I liked you, Porcelain."

The brunette persisted. "Yeah, but why him? What can he do that we can't?"

Sue walked over to a table, pulling something out of a bag. "Porcelain, catch."

Kurt looked at her, confused, as two pieces of metal flew towards him. He grabbed them out of the air on instinct, twirling them before holding them to his sides. "Why do you have sais?"

"Show them your skills."

"I mean, I wouldn't really call them skills, but okay." Kurt twirled the sais, throwing them up into the air and catching them.

Suddenly something flew towards him. On instinct he twirled the sai, blocking it, and more things sailed towards them.

Grapes?

He looked over and saw Sue picking grapes off a vine, throwing them at him. He kept deflecting them until she stopped.

"Why were you throwing fruit at me?" He asked, confused.

"To see if you could deflect them." She said, as if it was obvious.

"That could have turned out terribly if I couldn't." He pointed out.

"Or hilariously."

He rolled his eyes, handing her the sais. "What was the point of this?"

She merely gestured towards the Cheerios, who were standing there in shock.

"Yeah! He's a unicorn and a ninja!" Brittany cheered.

Kurt laughed. Brittany, Santana, and Quinn started clapping, and the other Cheerios followed suit. He blushed.

"I want you to teach them how you do that. I bought sais for everyone, the best will be featured in a routine." Sue announced.