The Unpredictable And The Orderly

XXV

"Sebastian?" Kurt asked, stepping into their dorm.

Sebastian was lying across his bed, head and shoulders hanging off of it. His hair was at it's full length, gravity pulling it towards the ground. He looked absolutely done with everything.

"Of all the people hoping to become experts in mood disorders, it just has to be Hunter fucking Clarington."

Kurt walked into the room, sitting on his own bed. "I'm guessing you're the cause of that bruise."

"Guilty as charged. It just fucking annoys me, how he tiptoes around me and always acts like I'm going to lash out and hurt him. I do, but I only do because he acts like that. Give him something to believe in, right?"

"They believe everything they hear about us cruddy JD's," Kurt quoted softly. "So that's what we give 'em. Something to believe in."

Sebastian laughed, almost falling off the bed and sitting upright. "Oh, I like you, Kurt Hummel. West Side Story, huh?"

"I was Officer Krupke in the school musical once," Kurt admitted. "I couldn't get Tony. Too gay."

He shook his head. "Krupke's never been my favorite. He likes everything this certain way, he hates when it all changes. He wants people in line, in order. It's so..."

"OCD?" Kurt finished wryly. "I mean, he's an old grump, but I can relate to that. I like what I'm used to, when I know what to expect. When things change abruptly and everything's different... God, I don't even want to think about it."

"I'm the exact opposite. I hate being guided like a sheep, being the person people expect out of me. 'Oh, he's bipolar, must be violent. Oh, must be depressed. Oh, must be anxious. Oh, must be hard to hold a conversation with. Because all he is is his mental illness, he's not an individual person.' The only expectation I fit is the unpredictable bit. I don't fit in a box, I'm as far away from it as I can be."

Kurt chuckled, shaking his head. "I can't imagine being like that. I like my life a certain way, I don't know what I'd do if it changed."

"Maybe it should." Kurt looked at him, confused, and Sebastian shrugged. "I mean, the way your life is going doesn't seem to be too great. You clearly have an eating disorder, and don't think I've missed the bandages on your arms. Maybe you should change it a bit, live a little."

Kurt was quiet for a minute. "I would, I feel like the minute the opportunity arises to 'live a little,' I'll back out."

"Then start with a bang," Sebastian said. He got up, moving to sit next to Kurt. "Start with something you never thought you'd do, and then you can't come back. You're in too deep to st- hmph!"

He was cut off as Kurt turned, kissing him rather enthusiastically. He put his hand behind Kurt's neck, deepening the kiss.

They broke apart for air, Kurt's cheeks flushed. "And I've begun to live a little."

Sebastian just kissed him again, pushing him back against his mattress. Kurt definitely didn't object.