We met again that afternoon. I was waiting by the entrance of the love motel, something that I don't always do, it was pretty much him who did all the waiting before.
Just like the very first time we were here, the atmosphere felt different. Each step that I made was unsure, each steps becomes a raging heartbeat out of my chest.
"I'm gonna take a shower." He said as he removed his bag from his body and dumped it on the floor. I nodded at him and when he got in, I carried the bag to put it inside the closet when a small box tumbled down.
I opened it, it was a ring. An engagement ring. It looks like he was serious with Irene all this time. It looks like I've been a fool for months now.
I put it back and and sat in front of the television. Staring at it and wondering what his plan was for me. Will we continue to see each other? It seems impossible. If he wants to talk after this, maybe he'll dumped me.
When he went out, he smiled at me, "Wanna shower?"
"Hmm—"
"It's okay. You don't have, too." He said as he nuzzled my neck. "You're on pills now, right? You told me last week?"
I nodded and fell into the bed.
We did it, it was short. It felt like we both just want our release. As soon as we finished, he stood up and took a shower again, against my greater judgement, I joined him inside the shower.
He welcomed me and hug me tight as he put some soap on my body and I chuckled. He reached down and kiss me and I'm almost tempted— Almost at the brink of it — I wanted to tell him how much I love him—
The shower helped me hide the tears that I'm shedding and thankfully, he turned it off when I got hold of my emotion.
He walked me to my car which is parked three blocks away, as I am about to drive off, he asked for the windows to be rolled down.
"I'm gonna go to your house tomorrow. We—we need to talk about something." His face already shows how sorry he is.
"Okay."
——
Our house in Hongdae was remodelled thrice, from a bare studio my aunt Jan used, to a bakery where Aunt Jisoo became well known for his wedding cake, to a two story house with three rooms for a family of four. Not as grand as the Kim and Min household but as par as Kim and Jung apartment villa.
"Anybody here with you?"
It makes me wonder why he was asking but I told him the truth, "Kai and Papa are both here."
"Uncle!" He called as if he was not fucking his daughter for a year.
"Yeonwoo! What brings you here?" My father said quizzically. Ever since my eighteenth birthday, it seems my father wasn't as warm to him as before.
"I brought some cakes, I had free time from work." He said.
Our talk came after he talked to my Papa about his work and how he would love working with the group my Papa trains or the songs he worked on. He was also on the verge of promotion, something he never told me during our time in our inconspicuous room. My father answered coldly and just nod at him.
When Kai called my father to help him with his car, we are left alone inside the house.
"We need to talk." He started.
