The night was cold, and the twinkling stars lit up the darkness. I had just stepped into the house, locking the door and taking my coat off my shoulders and sliding it onto the coat rack,
"River!" I shouted, hearing nothing but my echoing voice.
After a while it was still silence. It was strange. He'd usually say something back, or come walking through the kitchen or something. That night, it was nothing. Not a sound. Just silence.
I walked up the staircase,
"River, I'm home!" Once again, silence.
It felt empty, but he was there. He had no scheduled interviews, that night he told me that he was staying home all day. So where was he?
Soon an aching feeling swarmed my stomach and my heart began throbbing in my throat. The worst thoughts filling my mind. I opened every door in the house, only to find him not there.
Lastly, I opened the bathroom door in our room. A relief hit me, and my breath was back to normal. River was there on the floor, and before I could think, I started out with,
"River, you had me worried." As I sat down next to him, my eyes widened at River's face . It was filled with a redness and his eyes were watering,
"What's wrong? What happened?" He wiped his eyes quickly. I don't think he could utter out a word.
"Talk to me, what happened?" I told him. I just wanted to know what had caused him pain. I could have helped.
"Hollywood's a fucked up place, man." He said suddenly into the broken air. I didn't understand completely, because only River would truly know the industry. Before I could say something, he spoke again through cold sobs,
"Everyone wants you to be a certain way. They want you to look a certain way. It's all fucked up," He began choking up tears again.
My heart sank, and I blinked back tears. He was crying and I couldn't help but cry too. I had really felt sorry for him. He was a beautiful soul, though no saint, he was still beautiful. It's like beautiful souls have the most pain.
"I don't wanna quit, though. I wanna do what I love (Y/N),"
"I know. It's just, with good things there's also bad."
"I just don't think I can take it anymore." He said, holding his palms to his face. My eyes suddenly widened, and I thought back to all those stars who couldn't take it and then they just kill themselves. I couldn't lose River like that. Suicide wasn't an option, and I was quick to let him know,
"River, please. I know it's hard, but you'll always have me, no matter what. Please, just tell me you aren't gonna kill yourself,"
"I won't...I won't." His voice was dry and shaky, from all the tears he had shed. I felt horrible, but River could take anything.
"I love what I do. I don't wanna quit." He says. I couldn't see him quitting. He was a passionate actor, and he wouldn't just give up. Besides, he had a voice and a platform. He could speak about things that he was passionate about, to bring awareness. He couldn't just, stop or quit.
I hugged him tightly, planting a small kiss on his forehead. Though he was in pain, I wanted him to know that love is the best medicine for deep pain. Love cures broken hearts, and guides the lost souls. I wanted him to know that.
"I love you so much. I don't think I've ever loved anyone like I love you. You're just beautiful, and I'm thankful. I love you, River."
"I love you so much more. I think I would've quit already if it weren't for someone like you."
I tried to smile, but I only blinked back tears. Such a hurt soul trapped in an uneven world. Such a wonderful personality, too. God, I love him so much...
🌹
(A/N)
Happy birthday River. Just beautiful in and out...he's missed, by me and by so many others. Love him, so much.
