Love Yourself: Suga | The Last

Three

The jolting feeling of falling in dreams is not at all the same experience in real life. In dreams, the sudden falling is scary and makes me panic for a split second. Falling in real life is a lot more peaceful - or at least in this moment it is -. My mind shuts off and my eyes close when the weightless feeling hits me. I let my body fall forward, giving myself over to gravity.

For a second, everything freezes and the only thing I experience is free falling over the barrier of the bridge. I hear nothing but the wind in my ears and the pounding beats of my heart. A breath escapes my lips as I give myself over. I've never felt so calm.

I expect the impact against the water will kill me before I can notice the pain. I imagine there's a slight moment where every part of my body explodes into piercing pain, before I just die and experience nothing more. And if the hard impact against water from hundreds of feet away doesn't kill me, then I'll just drown from my inability to swim. This is what I told myself to expect when I decided that this was my choice of death.

But what I don't expect is the sudden grip around my wrist and the pain of my shoulder being yanked upward right as I begin to fall.

I open my eyes and look upwards at the person stopping me from the death I want. He has a hoodie on that has fallen over his eyes and I can only see his mouth. Words come from him and I can tell he's shouting, but the sound doesn't come to me. It feels like I'm already underwater, the sound around me muffled and everything just feels so slow and heavy.

Did I already die? Did I already fall and now I'm just hallucinating someone grabbing me?

"Let go of me," I hear the words leave my mouth, but don't register saying them. I can feel the sweat forming between his hand and my wrist. A couple of my healing scars split open beneath his hand and the sudden stinging pain washes over me like cold water.

The trance that I was in breaks and everything floods my senses. He's screaming, and I can hear multiple voices and people running towards us. The water below us is crashing against each other. I make the mistake of glancing down and am hit with a wave of vertigo, my stomach instantly doing flips. I would have definitely died on impact. This bridge is high above the crashing waters. It threatens to swallow me whole.

I can hear myself screaming. My body twists, the fear of falling and death suddenly hitting me at full force. What was I thinking? There's nothing calming about this situation at all.

There's a second where I can feel another hand reaching around my arm and my body being lifted upward again. I'm going to live. And in that second, living seems like the better option than falling to my death.

The first hand slips from my wrist. The mix of sweat and blood made it difficult to hold on to me. I feel myself fall a couple inches. I scream.

The feeling of falling even a couple inches is the same as the jolting nightmare feeling of falling.

I faint. Everything goes black.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"We'll have to leave through the back entrance. I heard there's already a crowd forming outside."

"How did they find us? I didn't see anyone following us."

"Pretty sure there's at least someone in the lobby that recognized us."

My head is pounding. I can hear male voices whispering around me. I keep my eyes shut, not wanting to open them to the bright light that I can feel shining in the room. Beneath me I can feel a soft bed. I can hear a steady beeping beside me, reminding me of my work's cash register.

Just my luck. I die and end up still having to work.

"I think she's awake, her eyelids were moving." There's a sudden scuffling across the floor and the bed suddenly moves beneath me.