Love Yourself: Suga | The Last

Twelve

-Hana's POV-

I've just gone on lunch when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I wave to my manager to signal that I'll be leaving for a bit and he gives me a brief nod before turning back to the customer he was dealing with. I yank the hair-tie out and shake my hair out a little bit before walking out of the store. Once my hair is covering my face again, I breathe out a little easier. I hate the feeling of people being able to see my entire face, it made me very self conscious.

I walk over to the small grassy hill behind the store and sit down. There hasn't been a lot of customers at the store today, so it's been a little easier to deal. I rub my palms against my eyes, trying my best to clear a little bit of the sleep from them.

I'm exhausted. Last night with Suga was mentally and physically tiring. The skin under my eyes feel a little more raw today from me constantly wiping my tears away. And because we had spent so many hours just talking, I had only gotten a few hours of sleep last night.

But you know the truth now, the thought comes to me. I glance behind me at the grass before laying down. The skies are a little cloudy today and I stare upwards.

I had lived for so long believing that Ji had been murdered. I had blamed his death on someone else and had held so much hatred and anger within me for so so long. And now, now that I know he wasn't murdered, but that he had actually committed suicide...it feels like I should be able to let go of some of that pent up anger.

But I still felt angry... only now I felt anger towards Ji and his selfish way of taking his own life.

But wasn't that what I had wanted to do? Had I not decided to try and kill myself so that I could reunite myself with my brother? Wasn't I also trying to take the selfish way out?

"Stupid," I groan under my breath, pressing my palms against my eyes again. Tears start to threaten to surface again and I press harder until I can see little stars behind my eyelids. "Don't cry. Not here. Not now," I tell myself sternly. I don't want to have a breakdown at work.

My phone vibrates in my pocket again and I welcome the distraction. I pull my phone out and squint at the screen, trying to let my eyes readjust to the sunlight.

Suga: Hey, hope you're doing well. Sorry had to rush out today. I wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay, but management was on our ass.

Me: All good. I had to get to work anyways. What's up?

Suga: I just wanted to let you know that we have a camera crew coming over today for a bit. They want to film an episode for our channel.

Me: Okay. I'm not going to be around until late. I have to make up for the last couple days I missed.

I bite my lip as I send the last text. I didn't actually plan on staying late at work today, but the thought of being around a camera crew was not something I wanted to deal with. Honestly I had wanted to go straight back to the apartment after work and knock out.

Suga: Don't work too hard :P Okay, I have to go now. Have to go over a small rehearsal for the episode. See you later?

Me: Sure. See ya.

I hit send and drop my phone down to the grass beside me. This entire thing is insane. Me, staying at BTS' apartment? Suga being the one who I've been texting? My brother and him being best friends? Insane. There had to be some kind of magical force working behind the scenes. There's no way that this could all be a coincidence.

I jolt upwards as something kicks against my shoe, sending a shock through my leg. I shield my eyes from the sun as I glare upwards at my coworker Jae. He slowly leans forward, his black hair slicing over his face, until he's looking at me directly.