Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts

Chapter 1 - Carsyn POV

Photo of Carsyn above ^^

Hey there! This is my first chapter of my new book... Sigh... I'm not so sure on my update schedule, due to the fact I'm currently in school. But, I do work on my stories in school, so if I finish a good chunk, I will post when I get home

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You'll never be good enough, want to know why? Why? Jacob, why can't I be good enough?! Tell me! Please! Because, Mom and Dad didn't want you to begin with, why else do you think they don't talk to you? They had you on accident, you wouldn't be alive! So why are you?! I don't know, Jacob! I don't know!

I wake up panting, sweating, and with tear-streaked cheeks... The nightmares won't go away, I can't sleep very long without any nightmares. That one night ruined everything, everything crashed down on me. 

My name is Carsyn, I'm 17 years old, and live in my best friend's apartment, well, she doesn't live here anymore, but she still owns it. I was kicked out of my own home at age 14. I didn't get to pack anything before I left. I am currently starting my senior year, school starts in less than a week, and I'm terrified. These past few years has been quiet yet interesting, I always keep my head down low in the hallway, hoping to never be noticed.. I don't really know what else there is to know about me? Oh well.

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Morning of First Day

After experiencing another nightmare for the who knows how many times now, I remove my covers frustratingly and walk to my closet. I pull out a random hoodie out of the stack and pull it over, along with a pair of ratty black jeans. I walk to the bathroom, and put my hair up in a ponytail and look at the clock and realize I'll be late.. Scrambling out the door, I almost trip down the stairs. I quickly grab the closest breakfast food and run out the door. Which, happened to be an apple..

 I hurriedly run down the road to school, barely making it in through the doors of my first class: English. My eyes scan the room to see if I recognize anyone there, I don't see anyone, besides all the popular people. Including.. Oh no.. It's him. Not him! It's the one and only, Noah Bax... The "hottest" boy in school, as everyone says, I personally don't fall for his charms unlike every girl in the school. He and I used to be best friends when we were younger, but when I got kicked out, our friendship slowly dissolved because I pushed everyone that actually cared about me away. I should've fought for our friendship, I know. But, I mean, it doesn't matter, no one wants me as a friend either way.

 I somehow find my way into my seat, hoping no one notices me. But, because of the fact I keep my head down, I don't realize who I'm sitting with until it's too late. "Ugh, Ms. Herring, why the hell do I have to sit with her?!" Noah grunts... "Well, it's not my choice, why don't go sit with one of your side chicks?" I mumble. "What'd you just say?!" "Nothing, sorry." I mumble again. He snorts and turns away. 

A little while later, Ms. Herring says we will be doing a partnered writing assignment, I grunt. I really don't like doing partner work, because either, I am left to do all the work because my partner is out partying or doing something like that, or they choose not to work with me, and so I'm left to do it by myself. (Which isn't necessarily bad, figuring I like working alone, but, whenever it's meant to be a partner assignment, I like following the rules... ) She starts going down the list of names, it seems to not be based on where you're sitting, phew, I don't have to work with him. "Jessica, and Maria, Kira and Mason, Aidan and Bryce..." I start to zone-out not caring about the rest of the partner names. "And, finally, Noah and Carsyn." "What!" We both exclaim in unison. "B-b-but-" "There shall be no buts in this class, Ms. Jones..." I sigh and hang my head low..

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It's relatively short, I know. Sorry. I'm just sort of getting into the flow of writing again.

Thank you, lovelies! ~3~