Melancholy Of Us

Melancholy 10

Chapter 10

Duke, don't lose hope. Please. You'll wake up, you'll wake up...

Sunod-sunod ang agos ng luha ko habang tulak ang dextrose holder, sinusundan si Cameron para puntahan ang kwarto ni Duke.

Huminto kami sa isang sliding door.  Nilingon ako ni Cameron habang hawak-hawak ang handle ng pintuan.

"Are you sure you want to see him, Aidee? Baka--"

"I'm fine, Ron. Please, I want to see him," pagpumilit ko.

Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa dextrose holder. Cameron hesitated to open the door, maybe because of my condition. He's worried I might lose consciousness again.

"Cameron, pakiusap, gusto ko siyang makita. Please? Just... just this once, please."

Huminga nang malalim si Ron, opened the sliding door, naunang pumasok sa loob at tinulungan akong itulak papasok ang dextrose holder.

Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa loob. May mga machines sa gilid, medyo maluwang ang kwarto at may set ng sofa sa gilid. His room smells mint and flowers. Presko tingnan ang mga kurtina sa bintana. It looks like a room inside a house. Except there's no cabinet, posters of favorite artists and other collections.

Huminto ang mga mata ko sa lalaking kasalukuyang nakahilata sa kama. Andaming nakakontekta sa katawan niya na mga apparatus.

Unti-unti akong lumapit. Hinila ko ang monobloc chair at umupo dito. Nanatiling nakatitig ang mata ko sa maamong mukha niya. I sat beside his bed, staring at him, wishing he'd wake up soon. Wishing he'd feel his body and wake up.

"God, Duke, wake up. Please..."

➳➳➳

I've been staying beside Duke for an hour now. Hinayaan lang ako ni Cameron dahil mamaya pa raw darating ang pamilya niya para palitan siya sa pagbabantay kay Duke.

I kept my eyes lay on him, memorizing every detail of his face. Now I can see his face clearly and not the bluish semitransparent. There are about five moles on his face, his eyebrows are thick and his eyelashes are dark and long. His nose isn't that pointed, sakto lang at nababagay sa kaniya. Hindi masyadong bilugan ang mukha, kapansin-pansin ang jawline niya dahil sa pamamayat. 

The Duke that I always see doesn't look like this, thin and pale. Sa loob ng dalawang taong coma, sino ba naman ang hindi mamamayat kahit na may dextrose ka.

The only sound that can be heard inside the room is the beep of the machine. Kahit na gusto kong hawakan si Duke, hindi ko kaya. I'm afraid I might touch something that doesn't have to be touched. Ayos lang sa 'kin na titigan siya nang ganito kalapit. I wish he'd wake up soon so that I can hug him tight.

But when he wakes up, I'm afraid he won't remember me. Pero ayos lang sa 'kin. At least he's alive. At least I'll see him walking around the street, alive, and not being a ghost whose body is transparent blue.

Kung nalaman ko lang na magkapatid sina Cameron, baka noon ko pa natulungan si Duke na bumalik sa katawan niya. Ilang beses na kaming magkasama ni Cameron. Pero sa t'wing nasa katabi ko si Ron, lumalayo naman sila Duke para magtago dahil alam nilang nakakakita si Ron.

Narinig kong bumukas ang sliding door ng kwarto. Hindi ko nilingon kung sino ang pumasok. I just stared at Duke, waiting for his eyes to open, waiting for his finger to flinch.

"Aidee, hinahanap ka ng papa mo. Nasa labas."

Napapikit ako. I don't want to go out and leave him yet. I just want to look after him.