Melancholy Of Us

Melancholy 9

Chapter 9

His bluish translucent body's shining brightly from the sun rays behind me. His eyes were gazing  at me, scrutinizing and, perhaps, remembering every detail of my face. 

I can feel my heart flutter from that idea. I couldn't believe he's here. Duke's here, standing in front of me. Of all those days I felt like nothing, now I'm extremely delighted to see him here.

I wanted to cup his face. Hug him and feel his warmth. I wanted to tell him that I missed him so bad. That I wanted him to be by my side and never disappear again. 

But it's all a bad idea. Very bad.

May tumulong luha pababa sa pisngi ko. Tumungo ako para hindi niya makita ang sunod-sunod na pagpatak ng luha ko. Nagsimulang sumikip ang dibdib ko, I could even hardly breath.

This is wrong. Leave now, Aidee. 

Leave, before you'll end up killing yourself.

Inangat ko ang paningin ko at nilunok lahat ng mga salitang gustong kumawala sa bibig ko. I can't let myself commit another mistake. 

"Aidee..."

Mas lalong rumagasa na tila isang talon ang mga luha ko. The way his cold voice mention my name feels like a knife stabbing directly in my heart. 

Para siyang nagmaakaawa. Nasasaktan nang sobra, 'gaya ko.

We're both hurting ourselves. Mas magandang idea siguro kung aalis siya't hindi na magpakita sa 'kin para hindi na kami magkasakitan pa. Maybe in that way, we can both live in silent and move on

I cleared my throat to avoid cracking my voice. "Duke, please, stay away from me."

Kahit na medyo malabo ang paningin ko, I saw him shaking his head. Bigla siyang lumuhod sa sa harapan ko. Both of his arms are pressed on the surface of the floor, then suddenly hit it with his right fist clenched.

Napaatras ako sa gulat dahil sa ginawa niyang pagsuntok. It didn't make any sound. His body may be a translucent blue, but I saw his face twitched from the pain he probably felt. 

I didn't know they could feel pain, too.

"Bakit... Bakit ganito? Bakit sa 'tin nangyayari 'to?"

Umiling ako. Hindi ko rin alam, Duke. Itong traydor nating puso ang gumawa ng lahat ng 'to.  Even if yours isn't there in your chest. 

"I regret being dead, Aidee. Kung pwede lang sanang mabuhay ulit para mahawakan ka, Aidee."

"Get lost, Duke. Sinasaktan lang natin ang isa't isa. Hindi pwede 'to. Hindi tayo pwede."

Yumuko si Duke. Tumingala ako para tigilan ang luha kong hindi ko matigil. Mas lalo lang sumikip ang dibdib ko. Lumalim ang paghinga ko. I clenched my fist from the pain I felt in my chest.

I couldn't breathe...

"Hindi pwede 'to, Duke. We're not meant to be. I'm breathing alive, you're not."

Nanginginig ang labi ko nang sinabi ko ang mga katagang 'yon. I'm trying to think of a painful words to say just to hurt him. It's the only way I can think of to push him away.

Umiling lamang si Duke. Inangat niya ang paningin niya sa 'kin. He supported himself to get up. Ngayon ay ako naman ang nakatingala sa kaniya.

His beautiful translucent eyes were staring back at me. I wish I could touch his face. Trace his nose. But I can't because he's dead.

"Sinubukan kong kalimutan ka, Aidee. Nagpakalayo ako. Pero sa tuwing may nakikita akong nakasalamin, natatandaan kita."

Sinubukan niyang hawakan ang mukha ko pero tumagos lang ito. I could only feel the cold air from his touch.