Crossfire: Game of Cards

Chapter Forty Six | Fallen

Crossfire: Game of Cards
A Wattpad Story

Copyrights © 2018 by SeoulShin

Chapter Forty Six | Fallen

I'm not sure.

Hindi ako sigurado sa mga nagiging desisyon ko sa buhay. Maybe it's me being impulsive, or maybe dahil nawalan ako ng focus sa mga bagay bagay dahil na lang sa sobrang stress at pagod ko before the school year ends, because the aftermath of my actions is pouring on my like a rainstorm. Ngayon sising sisi ako sa mga ginawa ko.

One of my biggest regret. It's Derrick.

I don't know kung paano nagsimula but I found ourselves fighting over the same subject again.

"Pag-aawayan na naman ba natin 'to?! I told you to go and be with your father, Derrick. It's not a big deal for me." Hindi ko na halos mapigilan yubg inis at galit ko, nawawalan na rin ako ng pasensya at hindi ko na rin naiintindihan yung mga sinasabi ko dahil paulit ulit na lamang iyon. He doesn't want to listen to me and its frustrating na para kang isang sirang plaka na paulit ulit na lang na nagsasalita.

"He said its fine kahit hindi ako sumama." Pagpupumilit niya. Napapikit ako at napahilot sa sentido ko ng marinig ko ang sinabi niya. Bakit di niya ako maintindihan? Bakit di niya makuha yung point ko? Bakit parang sarado na ang isip niya? Hanggang kailan ko siya pagsasabihan?

I was there noong inulit ng daddy niya ang about doon sa trip nila. I even heard their whole conversation. His dad wants the both of them to spend a 3 month vacation sa Canada. But Derrick declined his father's offer. Kahit na sinabi ng daddy ni Derrick na ayos lang, I can hear the disappointment in his voice. He just wants to spend some time with his son. Ayoko namang ipagkait iyon sa kanya.

And me being the reason why ayaw sumama si Derrick... kinakain ako ng konsensya ko.

"Why can't you just do it, Derrick? Daddy mo 'yon!" I know how much it means to his father. Its not a long time naman and worth it ang three months if your going to spend it with your family. I know hindi siya sanay dito dahil sa pagkakaalam ko ay ito ang magiging unang bakasyon niya kasama ang daddy niya, but its always worth a try, right?

"And you're my girlfriend." I appreciate everything he does, I do. I really do. It's just that every effort that he makes are so unusual and unhealthy. I'm not used to this, I'm new to this and I need someone who can help me with the situation.

And its definitely not, Derrick.

"So, it's fine with me. Kahit hindi sabihin ng dad mo alam kong gusto ka niyang makasama. He wants you with him kahit sa maikling panahon lang." Growing up without a mom, I know there are times when Derrick starts to question his father about his mom, ganoon ang nangyari sa amin pareho ni Theon. We both started questioning our mother about our both of our fathers.

Bakit di namin siya kasama sa bahay? Why do we have different surnames even though we're siblings? Why do they have another wife? Bakit magkaiba ang tatay namin? Bakit di buo ang pamilya namin katulad ng sa ibang bata?

Those were our mom's dreaded times. It affected her sometime, na hindi niya kayang bigyan ng kumpletong pamilya ang mga anak niya, she tried so hard to make us understand our situation, she filled us with so much love so we will stop asking questions but she can't stop the inevitable. Alam niyang dadating at dadating ang panahon na maghahanap kami ng aruga ng isang ama.

But nevertheless, we grew up fine and contented, maybe because we both had the care, love and attention we need. Kay mommy pa lang ay solve ba kami pareho so having a perfect family is out of the picture, bonus na lang siguro at nakilala namin ang daddy namin at buong puso kaming tinanggap.