her.

i

i want to pretend you don't hurt me anymore
but i can't
because i still love you.

"love?"
really?

...yes.

i know it's a strong word
but really

i do.

and if i'm being honest
i don't want to let you go
because i still don't understand you yet.

like
after all this time
i still don't understand what you meant

"me and her might not work out"

i know you said that to make me feel better—

but did you ?

a part of me doesn't want to believe that.
a part of me feels like there was a chance, and somehow, i blew it.

☠︎

in this book
i will be going deeper into what i felt.

because this book isn't about him
it's about her

about me.

and i want someone

—anyone—

to understand how much i felt

starting 430 days ago

at roughly 7.44pm.