her.

iii

anyway
moving on from my brief episode

hanging out with people makes you happier, i found
although i think that happiness was delirium at first
because i was so fucking terrified
what happens when they realised my smile was fake?
what happens when they see the cracks i'm trying so desperately to glue back together?

will they leave too?
will they turn on me, call me names and turn me into nothing?

i didn't want to go through that again.
that's a story for another time.

i didn't tell anyone about that.
you're the first to know, if that makes you feel special.

i felt special when people trusted me enough to tell me secrets.

again, i hadn't spoken to anyone to know any secrets for a long time.