Shattered

Chapter 10

            My heart pounded against my chest as I sat on the floor next to the sink gazing at the door, but I wasn't seeing it. My mind was on other things. Tyler and I had been together for three months now and we had been having sex every night since that first night. Tyler never liked wearing condoms and relied on the pull-out-method. I knew that was risky, but I didn't care about the possible consequences until now.
How long had it been? Five minutes? Ten?
I sighed and reached up to grab the slip that was resting on the sink. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths as I flipped it over.
One for no. Two for yes.
I probably wouldn't have given much thought to my sudden gain in weight. Tyler made sure he kept me well fed, but it was the sudden rise in morning sickness and fatigue that made me suspicious and call Delaney to ask her for a pregnancy test. I was still skeptical about being pregnant, up until now.
I opened my eyes and my heart skipped a beat. Two very clear lines.
"Oh God," I whispered dropping the slip.
A loud knock on the door made me jump. I had completely forgotten about Delaney waiting patiently outside of the door for me to give her the news.
"October, are you alright?" she called from the other side. "Come on! I want to know the results!"
I unlocked the door and she immediately walked in, almost hitting me with the door.
"So," she said staring at me. "Yes or no?"
I pointed to the slip on the floor and her eyes lit up as she saw the results.
"Oh my God! Congratulations, October! Why don't you seem happy?"
"I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for this and I am pretty sure Tyler isn't ready either," I answered.
"Well, you should've used protection instead of trusting the pull-out-method. Everyone knows that doesn't work! I don't care how good a guy says his pull-out-game is!" she exclaimed. "What, did you think you wouldn't get pregnant? Well, news flash, you did. Now be a woman and be happy about it. You have a little human growing inside of you!"
"Delaney, I asked you to come here for moral support and for the test, not to make me feel worse," I muttered picking up the slip and putting it back in the box that was on the sink.
"I'm sorry, but if I were you, I would be excited. You and Tyler are going to have your first child. Shouldn't you be happy about that?"
I looked down before saying, "I don't know how he's going to react."
She opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of Tyler's car pulling up interrupted her and she looked at me with a grin on her face.
"Well, here's your chance to tell him because he just pulled up," she said as I walked into my bedroom across the hall.
"Delaney, please don't tell him. I will tell him when the moment seems right. Here, take this," I said handing her the box. "Put it in your purse and make sure he doesn't see it."
She took the box and grimaced before saying, "Totally excited about putting something my best friend peed on in my purse, but alright. I should go. My mom is having a family get together and I must be there. Good luck."
I smiled as she gave me a quick hug before dancing out of my room and down the hallway. A few moments later, Tyler walked in covered in dirt and dust, but he still looked amazingly handsome.
"Hey babe," I murmured. "How was work?"
"Tiring, my feet are killing me," he answered. "Why was she here?"
"She came to check on me," I lied. "I wasn't feeling very well and I didn't want to bother you while you were working so I asked her to come over and sit with me until you got off."
"You threw up again?" he asked, his face was full of worry. "That's the eighth time this week and it's only Wednesday."
"It's nothing, I'm alright," I said reassuringly. "My body probably isn't used to the amount of food I've been eating lately. You remember I hardly ate anything when I first got here."
"Yeah, but now I can't seem to stop you from eating. You've also gained a little bit of weight as well."
That's what happens when you're pregnant.
"Is it that bad?" I asked.
"No!" he said quickly. "I think it looks good on you. You were so thin when you first got here, I was afraid of breaking you or hurting you. Especially the first night we had sex."
I rolled my eyes and he laughed.
"Go shower, I can smell you from here. You smell like tar and sweat."
He grinned before walking into the bathroom. When he closed the door, I laid back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling as I traced circles absent mindedly on my stomach. As scary as it was to know that I was carrying a little human inside of me, I couldn't help but feel a little excited. I couldn't wait until the days come where I would be able to feel the baby move and talk to it. Most of all, I couldn't wait to see it on the ultrasound. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear Tyler get out of the shower.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice making me jump.
I looked at him and my mouth dropped. He was still dripping wet from the shower and water was cascading down his rock-hard abs like mini rivers only to be stopped by the towel that was wrapped tightly around his waist.
"Y-yeah," I stammered.
A devilish grin spread across his lips as he said, "You like what you see, huh?"
"Don't I always?"
He laughed and walked into the room before sitting down on the bed. He stared at me for along moment and his face went blank.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I just...I hate leaving you here alone so much, October. I worry about you constantly when I'm at work and it often gets in the way of my work," he answered.
I sat up and stared at him before saying, "So, what are you going to do?"
He contemplated for a moment before saying, "I can always quit my job so that you won't have to be alone so much, but I know you aren't having that."
"Of course I'm not having that!" I snapped.
Especially not when I have a little human growing inside of me.
"Well, I guess I will have to endure it then," he answered dully.
I laid back down and stared up at the ceiling again. My mind once again trailed back over to the tiny little human growing inside of me and I absent mindedly traced circles on my stomach again.
"You're doing it again," he said making me jump.
"Doing what?" I asked.
"Rubbing your stomach. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked as a worried look crossed his features.
"Tyler," I murmured his name. "I am fine."
Slowly, the worry fell from his face and a small smile spread across his lips. He reached up to touch my cheek and I leaned my head into his hand enjoying the warmth of his hands.
"How did I end up with you?" he asked. "I'm so lucky."
"Lucky? How are you the lucky one? I'm the one that should be lucky. Without you, I know I wouldn't be here right now. I would've let the darkness and my demons overtake me and I would be with Matthew right now. Or hell. Whichever one I deserve."
His brow furrowed and he frowned before saying, "Stop talking like that! I hate when you do! I don't want to think about what would've happened if I didn't come along to pull you out of the darkness. I have nightmares about it every other night. Even with you right beside me, it still takes me a while to realize that it was just a dream."
I stared at him for a long moment and pulled him into a tight hug.
"It's okay," I murmured. "As long as I have you in my life. I have no reason to go back to the darkness."
And as long as I have this child growing within me.
"Are you hungry?" he asked after a few moments of being held.
"A little, what do you have in mind for dinner?"
He laughed and said, "Well, I wasn't going to cook dinner tonight. I was going to take us out for dinner tonight."
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped as I stared at him in shock and awe. I never liked going out to eat in public places simply because I didn't like the idea of people staring at me while I ate. When I was a kid, I would find every excuse not to go eat in a restaurant.
"You're taking me out?" I asked, my voice was barely above a whisper.
"Well, I wanted to. What's wrong?"
I stood up and turned around to face him. He admired my body and the devilish smirk reappeared, but he didn't make any advances towards me.
"Nothing, it's just that...well, I never really liked eating in restaurants. People often stared at me a lot and it made me uncomfortable," I answered.
"Well, where we're going, I will make sure no one stares at you," he murmured getting up and walking up to me.
"I don't have anything to wear," I said as he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"Oh, don't worry about that, I will find you something to wear. You just shower and get ready," he said before walking out of the room.
I stared at the bed for a long moment wanting to lay back down, but knowing that Tyler wasn't going to let me get out of going to dinner so easily. It was all he talked about and my excuses worked for a while, but now they were played out and I was going to have to go to dinner whether I wanted to or not.
Oh well, it can't be all bad, can it? At least I'm getting out of the house and tasting some new foods, not that Tyler's food wasn't to die for.
I sighed heavily before walking into the bathroom to get ready for our special dinner.
Might as well get ready. God knows what restaurant he's picking.