Shattered

Chapter 16

            My hands shook as I stared down at the cup of lukewarm water in my hands. I hadn't taken a sip since Ericka handed it to me after telling me what I already knew. I had lost the baby. It was a horrible feeling, but I couldn't tell what was worse. The fact that I had lost it or the fact that Tyler didn't seem to care. Instead of comforting me, he was laughing and joking with some of the doctors who were on break.
"October?" Ericka called my name making me look up. "Are you alright?"
Am I alright? I lost my baby and Tyler doesn't seem to have a care in the world. Yeah, I'm peachy.
"What do you think?" I muttered staring at her.
"I'm so sorry, October."
I just shrugged.
"Where's Tyler? Why isn't he with you?"
"Simple," I answered. "He doesn't care."
Her face became puzzled as she said, "October, I'm sure he cares. Some people have unusual ways of co..."
"No," I said cutting her off. "He truly doesn't care. He did this to me. He raped and hit me last night."
"Oh my God," she whispered shaking her head and covering her mouth. "Why didn't you call the cops? They would've taken him to jail."
"I love him, Ericka."
She stared at me for a long moment before shaking her head and saying, "I understand that you love him, but there's something you need to know. Please understand that if anyone finds out I've told you this confidential information, I will lose my job. Tyler is mentally unstable. He suffers from schizophrenia and intermittent explosive disorder. He was on medication for both of those illnesses, but they took him off after he seemingly improved. I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner."
Anger coursed through my body and I felt my face grow hot as I said, "Why didn't you tell me before this happened!?!"
"I didn't think he still had those episodes, October. He loves you."
"No, he doesn't!" I snapped.
She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Tyler walked in and stared at me for a long moment before saying, "Let me guess, you two are speaking that alien language again?"
"Yeah," she answered as he walked up to me. "She's free to go, but it's best for her to stay in bed for a while."
He nodded and I stood up before walking out of the room with Tyler right behind me.
"Are you alright?" he asked when we got in the car.
"No," I answered. "You hit me, raped me, and caused this whole miscarriage and you don't give a damn!"
"I do care," he said as we pulled out of the parking lot.
"No, you don't and it shows that you don't! When I was in that hospital room, you were joking with the doctors and nurses who were on break instead of with me."
"I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care, but we can try again," he murmured.
"Try again?" I asked. "No, we can't."
"Why not?"
I stared at him in disbelief before saying, "Are you kidding me? You raped me! Do you honestly think I can have sex with you after you did that to me?"
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as we pulled up to a stoplight.
"So, no more sex?"
"No."
"October, come on, I've apologized so many times today. What more do you want?"
"You think sorry fixes this?" I asked. "Sorry doesn't fix this."
"So what do you want? Do you want to leave me?"
I didn't answer and when I didn't he looked at me, but I didn't meet his gaze.
"You do."
"Tyler, I love you, but you need help. I fear you."
"You have no reason to be afraid of me," he said, his voice was strained.
"After what you have done to me, you have the audacity to say that to me?" I demanded glaring at him.
"You look at me as a monster, don't you?"
What am I supposed to look at you as? An angel? A saint?
"You've been nothing but a monster to me," I answered.
He studied me for a moment before laughing and pulling off. The rest of the ride was in silence and I couldn't help but feel uneasy. When we pulled up to the house, I opened my door to get out, but before I could, he locked the doors and grabbed my arm.
"I know what Ericka told you," he said. "She told you about my mental illnesses, didn't she?"
"N-no," I stammered.
"You're lying. I can see it in your eyes and I heard her tell you. Now I'll ask you this one more time. Do you want to leave me?"
My heart started to race as his face changed and his eyes became cold.
"I...I...Tyler, I love you, but you need help."
"I don't need any help!" he snapped. "You want out!?!"
I nodded and he grinned before reaching for his glove compartment. He opened it and pulled out a black and silver handgun. My heart skipped a beat when he examined it before aiming it at my forehead.
"You want to end things? Okay, I'll end it for the both of us. What do you say? A bullet between your eyes and one through my temple?"
"Tyler...please...don't."
He grinned and clicked the safety off as a dangerous smile spread across his lips. In that moment, he didn't look like Tyler anymore. He looked like a psychopath.
"You want to leave me?" he asked putting his finger on the trigger.
He's going to kill me.
I squeezed my eyes shut as tears spilled down my cheeks. I heard him pull the trigger, but nothing happened and he laughed maniacally as I opened my eyes to stare at him.
"It wasn't loaded," he said tucking the gun inside of his back pocket and unlocking the door.
I threw it open and ran up to the house desperate to get away from him. I pulled out my key and fumbled with the lock before opening it and running inside. I screamed when he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall.
"Next time you want to consider leaving me, I'll make sure it's loaded," he said. "Do you understand me?"
I didn't answer and when I didn't, he grabbed my neck and tightened his grip until I was starting to see black spots.
"Do you understand me?" he repeated, his voice was sinister.
"Yes," I choked out and he let me go.
I collapsed on the floor coughing as he turned and walked down the hallway saying, "If I can't have you. No one can."
Tears spilled down my cheeks and I pulled my knees up to my chest before burying my face into my knees.
What am I going to do? He's going to kill me.
We tried to warn you, but you didn't want to listen. Now suffer the consequences.
Suffer the consequences? The consequences possibly being my death...
"Oh Matthew, I wish you were here," I whispered.