Shattered

Chapter 20

            When I opened my eyes, I found myself curled up on the bathroom floor with a blanket covering me. At first, I was confused as to how I got here and then it dawned on me.
An hour after cutting myself, I started feeling nauseous and I ran into the bathroom where I threw up violently. After that, I took several Tylenol pills and passed out on the floor. I hadn't taken the pills to relieve the pain, but to silence the voices in my head. Which worked. As for the blanket, my only guess was that my mom had put it on me after finding me on the floor.
I sat up slowly and looked down at my wrist. Dried blood and dirt was caked on it and it was slightly green in certain places. I stood up and turned on the faucet before putting my wrist under the lukewarm water, wincing from the pain.
When I was done, I stared down into the sink afraid to look at my visage. I sighed heavily and slowly raised my eyes to look at myself. What I saw nearly made me pass out again. My hair was beyond messy, my skin was pale and full of breakouts, my lips were severely chapped and bleeding badly, my eyes had dark circles under them, and I looked thinner.
"God," I whispered.
He took it all. My love. My heart. My soul.
I gripped the sides of the sink so hard that I felt my cut starting to reopen again and I let go.
"October?" my mother called my name and I slowly turned to face her.
She gasped before saying, "What has he done to you? You look so sick."
"I'm fine!" I snapped without meaning to.
"Okay, well, I am heading to work early today. I have a lot of things that I need to take care of. Your father is downstairs watching his cartoons. Do you want me to bring anything back?"
"No," I answered walking by her.
"Okay then. I love you."
"Love you too," I grumbled as I sat down on the bed with my knees pulled up to my chest.
She gave me a worried look, but said nothing else as she walked out of the room.
For a while, I sat in silence until my phone rung loudly causing me to jump. I reached for it and my heart stopped when I saw who it was.
Tyler.
I watched it ring for a moment waiting to see if he would hang up, but after the seventh ring, I swiped the green icon and waited.
"Hello? October, are you there? Of course you're there. You answered the phone."
"What do you want from me? Aren't you happy?" I asked, my voice was surprisingly cold.
"Yes I am. Well, I was always happy. Just not with you."
"So I see. Why are you calling me?"
"No reason. Just curious to know if you got the job or not. I didn't see you come in and the sign was gone when Gia and I left. If you did get the job, congratulations."
"What does it matter if I got the job or not?" I demanded. "Why do you even care? You have her. That's all you care about! You don't care that you ruined my life or any of that!"
"That's not entirely true. I do care about you."
I couldn't help but laugh before saying, "You have a very funny way of showing it."
"Obviously I care about you, October. If I didn't I would've had you arrested for shooting at me."
"You should have. I don't really care about anything anymore. You took everything from me. My love. My virginity. My soul! You took it all! And you know what? You took pleasure in doing it!"
"Are you sure you were a virgin? I mean I couldn't feel much of anything when I was in there. Either your dad has fingers the size of a horse's dong or I'm not the first person you claimed to have had sex with."
I frowned before saying, "Your moans said otherwise."
"Damn, I must be pretty good at faking. I didn't think I could pull it off seeing as though I never had to before."
I hung up the phone before throwing it against the wall.
"October?" my dad shouted from downstairs. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah!" I shouted back.
My phone rang again and I reluctantly got up to see who it was. I picked it up expecting to see Tyler's name, but to my surprise it was Ericka.
"Hello?"
"October! Hi! I heard about what happened with you and Tyler. Are you alright?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm just marvelous!"
"I know you're lying. I can't imagine what you've been through, but hey listen. I know we ended on bad terms back at the hospital, but why don't we go out tonight. It'll get your mind off things."
"I don't really feel like going out, Ericka," I answered sounding way harsher than I intended to.
"Come on, October. It will be fun. We can chat, dance, and have a couple of drinks. I'll pay for everything."
I sighed heavily before saying, "You aren't going to take 'no' for an answer, are you?"
"Nope, so come on."
"Fine!" I snapped. "Pick me up in an hour."
"Great! Give me your address," she said.
"Can't you just look that up in one of my medical files?" I asked.
"Well, yeah, I could, but I'm not at work right now," she answered.
"So you have my number, but not my address?"
"I know I know. Crazy, right? Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to drive all the way to the hospital?"
"3782 Union Street Seattle, WA 98100," I answered.
"Thanks. See you soon!"
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed before walking over to the closet. I pulled out a black wool sweater dress, a pair of white leggings, and a pair of knee high black boots. I put them on and walked into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and put on enough makeup to hide the dark circles and chapped lips before grabbing my phone. I walked out of the room and downstairs to the living room.
My dad was sitting on the sofa, in nothing but his pajama bottoms, watching Dragon Ball Super with a cold Arizona Tea in his hand and a bag of Lays beside him.
"Where are you off to?" he asked glancing at me. "You look good by the way."
"I'm going out with a friend," I answered walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.
"Who is this friend?" he called.
I opened the water bottle and took a sip before saying, "Really, dad. I'm 19 years old. You don't have to treat me like a baby anymore."
He stood up and turned to face me as he said, "I know, but I know I wasn't much of a father figure to you when you were little and I..."
"I know," I cut him off not wanting to hear his apologies again. "I'm just going with Ericka to a bar or something. She wants to try and help me get over Tyler."
"Well, that's good I suppose. It's a hell of a lot better than being cooped up in your room drowning in your sorrows," he said stretching.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Please don't take that offensively, October. It's just that your mother and I worry about you."
"I know," I muttered walking by him. "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine."
"Yeah, that's the same thing Matthew told us, once," he muttered.
I paused and turned to face him before saying, "What? What do you mean?"
He sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped as he said, "Matthew had a lot of issues that your mother and I didn't know about until a few years ago. He was in a gang and often came home with bruises and cuts all over him. Whenever we asked him about them, he just passed them off as basketball scars."
"I didn't know about that," I whispered. "I wonder why he never told me."
"He didn't tell anyone, October. I reckon he would've kept it that way if we hadn't seen it on the news."
I looked down.
So you were just as broken as I was. Just broken in your own way.
"Well, I don't want to ruin your mood or anything. Do you know what bar she's taking you too?"
I shrugged.
"She's probably taking you to Little Vegas. I heard they have the best drinks and food there. It's very expensive, but unlike most clubs, their age limit is 18. So, you're lucky."
"Lucky? And how come their age limit is 18? And how come you know about it?" I threw the questions at him.
"Simple, your mother and I used to go there when we were teenagers. The age limit is 18 because the club is mostly a hangout spot for teens around that age," he answered returning to the living room.
"I see."
"When is she coming to get you?"
"Soon I guess," I answered.
"Alright. Well I might as well tell you the rules before you go. Have fun, don't drink too much, and don't stay out past 3."
I groaned before saying, "Really dad? I'm 19."
"Other than that, have fun," he said ignoring my protests.
I rolled my eyes and a few minutes later I heard her car pull up.
"She's here."
"Be careful," he called as I headed outside into the cold.
I closed the door behind me and walked across the yard to Ericka's light blue Sedan. She unlocked the door and I got in.
"You look amazing," she said when I closed the door.
"Thanks," I murmured looking at her attire which consisted of a pair of tight blue jeans, thigh high black boots, and a fancy long sleeved black and blue shirt. "You too."
"Are you ready to have some fun?" she asked.
I shrugged and she glared at me.
"Okay fine, yes I am."
She pulled out of the driveway and nudge me before saying, "Liven up! We are going to have a girl's night out!"
"Yay!" I said sarcastically.
A girl's night out. This can't possibly go well.