Shattered

Chapter 15

            Sunlight poured into the room waking me and I shielded my eyes with the back of my hand before sitting up slowly. I stretched and glanced over to see if Tyler was in bed with me or not. To my surprise, the spot was empty and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
Good, he's at work.
I smiled, but it quickly faded when I heard the television playing in the living room.
Or not.
I reluctantly got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before looking down at the bruise Tyler had left on my arm. I ran my fingers over it and winced as it throbbed painfully.
"Good morning," his voice made me jump and I slowly turned around to face him.
He was wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of black jeans and his hair was neatly combed. His hands were tucked deep into his pockets and I felt my heartbeat increase.
"Morning," I muttered not wanting to meet his gaze; afraid that if I did, I would see the same monster I saw last night.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked.
"Fine."
"That's good," he said. "Are you hungry?"
I shook my head and he folded his arms across his chest before walking up to me. I stepped back and almost fell backwards into the bathtub, but I managed to catch myself. Barely.
"I'm not," I whispered.
"Look at me," he demanded.
Why? So that I can see the monster I saw last night? I think I will pass.
"No."
He grabbed my chin and pulled my face up so that I was staring deep into his eyes. I searched his eyes for any signs of the monster I had encountered last night, but there wasn't even a hint of the monster.
"I think you should eat something," he said, his voice was strained.
"I'm not hungry, Tyler," I whispered.
He frowned and I saw a glimpse of the monster in his eyes as he started to tighten his grip on my chin until I cried out in pain.
"Tyler...what's happened...to you?" I asked around the pain. "Why are you...acting like...this?"
Something shifted in his features for a split second and he loosened his grip a little before saying, "You had no right to ask me why I had a picture of Gia on my wall. This is my house! If you don't like what I have on my wall, then you can go back to that hell hole I rescued you from! Now, if you want to continue to live here, then I suggest you respect my privacy!"
I felt my eyes water as he let me go and glared at me.
"Tyler...you and I are...a couple," I said my voice cracking. "I think I have a right to know things and you can't just kick me out."
"Oh really?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. "And what makes you think that? The fact that you are carrying my child? Don't think that child is going to keep you here. I can put both of you out on the streets and not even bat an eye."
"Tyler!" I snapped suddenly enraged. "What is wrong with you!?! Why are you acting so cold hearted towards me and this baby!?! Is this really because I asked you about a picture of Gia!?! News flash! You and I are a couple! I deserve to know what goes on with you and this relationship! I will not stand for you treating me like shit! I've dealt with it enough throughout my whole life! Now, you can put me out if you want, but I guarantee that if you do, you won't ever see this child again!"
My sudden outburst seemed to take him by surprise and he stared at me for a long moment speechless. I glared at him before walking by him. I walked into the bedroom and picked up my phone before turning around, only to be backhanded hard across my face. I fell backwards onto the bed and before I could react, Tyler was on top of me pinning me down.
"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!?!" he demanded, the monster in his eyes returning. "THIS IS MY HOUSE!! YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT ME IN MY HOUSE!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!"
I squirmed underneath him, but he didn't budge.
"Tyler, get off me!" I snapped.
"NO!! NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION!!"
I stared up at him and something shifted in his features. The monster that had taken over was replaced by something much more terrifying. A demon. My heartbeat increased and he rapidly undid his pants and leaned in to kiss me, but I quickly turned my head.
"Tyler, stop!" I shouted as he roughly yanked my underwear down and pulled my shirt up.
Oh god, not again. Please no.
My stomach churned as I realized that he was going to rape me and I kicked viciously underneath him, but he still didn't move. In fact, he seemed to enjoy my futile attempts to get him off.
This can't be happening. This must be a dream. Please let it be a dream. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
I squeezed my eyes shut hoping that I would wake up, but I didn't.
Why was this happening? Where did this monster come from? What happened to the old Tyler?
I slowly opened my eyes and gazed into the demon that had overtaken my boyfriend before going limp. There was no point in fighting. I knew that fighting would only make him even angrier.
What did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening to me? Is he really going to rape me?
The questions buzzed around in my head like a swarm of angry Japanese hornets and I got my answer when he penetrated me with one swift thrust. I wanted to cry from the sharp pain, but I held it back. His hands gripped my struggling arms so hard that I could feel them starting to turn purple. He thrusted hard as I forced myself to stay limp, knowing that if I didn't it could cause more harm to myself. He leaned down and kissed me as he continued to thrust harder and harder until he neared his climax. He quickly pulled out and shot several streams of his semen all over my exposed chest before collapsing next to me. He turned to look at me, but I didn't move.
"Clean yourself up," he ordered before getting up and walking out of the room.
My eyes watered and I let the tears flow as I curled up in fetal position.
He raped me. He raped me. How could he rape me? I'm carrying his child.
Don't act so surprised. You should've known that all this was too good to be true. You moved too fast without even getting to know his demons. All demons wear a mask of goodness until you are with them and their true colors are revealed to you.
What am I going to do? I can't just leave. I have nowhere to go.
You can always go home.
Back to that hell hole? No way! Too many painful memories. I'd rather stay here than to relive those memories.
It's your decision, but personally, we think you are dumber than we thought. Instead of going back home, you'd rather stay here and suffer in a brand-new hell hole that will make even more painful memories? Typical. I bet you won't leave him either, will you? You're going to sit around and hope that he comes to his senses, aren't you?
I don't know. I love him. This isn't him. Something's wrong. He promised me that he would never hit me.
But he did and not only did he hit you. He raped you! You better get out while you still can!
No! I'm not leaving!
Fine, don't. You're going to wind up like those women who live with abusive boyfriends and husbands all because they love him and see something in him. In the words of a famous meme, 'Bitch what do you see in him a rematch?' You know how abuse works, October. Once he hits you one time, it's time to go because he will hit you again.
No, you're wrong.
You are so stupid! He hit you! He raped you! What are you waiting for? Him to threaten to kill you! Go ahead and be stupid! In the long run, you're going to wish you had listened to us.
Listen to the demons who tried to get me to give in to my suicidal thoughts countless times? I would be a damn fool to listen to you.
Go ahead and keep that mindset. Just know, that we have been right about everything that's happened so far and we will be right about this too.
My stomach churned again and I bolted from the bed and into the bathroom where I became violently sick. When I was done, I laid down on the floor next to the toilet. Too drained and too sore to move. I felt exhausted and my eyelids were heavy. I tried to keep them open, but to no avail and I slowly sank into darkness.

~O~

Rain pounded loudly against the window almost matching the flow of my tears and continuing when I had no more to shed. The rain, as it seems always knew when to come, and wash away the painful events or in my case make them even more vivid.
Once again, I woke up in bed with no memory of how I got there. Then again, it wasn't a mystery. I glanced over my shoulder at Tyler's sleeping form. It was obvious that he had carried me to bed at some point; probably because he felt bad for raping me.
I sat up and winced. My body ached and I wasn't sure if it was because of what happened or because of where I had chosen to sleep, though it really wasn't my intentions.
I stood up and walked out of the room and into my old bedroom. I closed the door and sat down on the bed looking out of the window. Though the sky was covered by dark clouds, I could tell that dawn wasn't far off and I laid down. I pulled the covers up to my chin and stared at the wall desperately wanting to forget the events of yesterday.
The sound of a toilet flushing followed by the sound of footsteps made me freeze. My heart began to race when I heard the door open and them enter my room.
"Oh, October," Tyler whispered, his voice was broken.
I closed my eyes as I felt the bed sink and his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry about what I did to you. I don't know what came over me. I broke my promise to you and I'm paying for it now."
I opened my eyes.
"It's been awhile since I've done this. I guess I have to get use to the pain again."
"Why?" I whispered without turning to face him.
"October! Did I wake you?"
"No," I answered. "Why'd you, do it?"
"I..."
"Better yet, a better question would be, how could you do it? How could you sit there and rape someone you promised not to hurt? Someone who is carrying your child! How Tyler? You not only broke a promise to me, but Matthew as well."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" I echoed turning over to face him. "Sorry doesn't fix this. Sorry doesn't take it back."
"I know, I wish it could."
If sorry could fix mistakes like this then this world would be worse than The Purge. No one would ever be punished because all they had to say was sorry and it fixed everything.
"Like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound," I whispered.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You ever heard the saying, 'After a while, sorry loses its meaning and it's like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound. It covers the wound, but doesn't take the pain away. Yesterday, I saw a side of you that I never even knew existed."
His eyes widened and he looked down before saying, "I don't blame you if you hate me, but I can promise you that you don't hate me as much as I hate myself. I hate myself so much I wanted to do so much more than just these."
I looked down and gasped when I saw eight long diagonal cuts along his arms stretching from his palms all the way up to his shoulder.
"Tyler!" I exclaimed.
"It's my punishment for hurting you."
"Those can kill you!" I exclaimed. "You didn't have to do that."
"Yes I did."
I looked down at the blood pouring from his arms.
"What did you even use to do that?" I asked not wanting to know the answer.
He didn't answer and when he didn't, I looked up at him, but he wasn't there.
"Tyler?" I said jumping up and looking around.
"I'm sorry," his voice sounded from the door and I turned around to see him holding a bloody box cutter in his hand.
"For what?" I asked.
A sinister smile spread across his lips and he raised the box cutter before walking up to me and stabbing me in the stomach with it.
"This," he answered as the scent of blood rapidly filled my nostrils.
"Tyler...why?" I whispered looking down at my stomach.
He didn't answer, instead he turned his back on me and walked away leaving me to die on the bedroom floor.
I sat up abruptly with my heart racing and looked around.
A dream. It was just a bad dream.
I shuddered as I stared at the bathroom floor.
The smell of blood was so real. So nauseating. So...
I paused when I felt dampness pooling between my legs and I looked down. My mouth dropped in horror when I saw blood pooling between my legs.
No! Please! This can't be happening! No!