Shattered

Chapter 44

            Fear gripped me as Keith raced to the hospital. I tried to keep myself calm and keep the horrible thoughts out of my head, but they kept resurfacing.
What if you didn't get through to her? What if she was just pretending just to get you to let your guard down? What if she left the hospital just so that she can do whatever she pleased with Ryan? You should've made sure she really cared and listened to what you said. Anyone can fake tears. Especially someone who is still raw from pain and traumatized from a suicide.
Keith's hand on my leg snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked down before looking at him.
"Are you alright? You look very distracted and worried," he said rubbing my leg.
"It's just that, maybe I should've tried to get through to her more, you know. I seemed to get through to her, but anyone can fake tears. I just feel so stupid," I answered. "If she does something to Ryan, I feel like it's going to be my fault."
"Don't worry, we'll find her," he reassured me.
I took a deep breath as we pulled up to the hospital which had several police cruisers in front of the emergency room and several further down the parking lot.
Keith pulled up to the ones in front of the emergency door and got out. I did too and we were approached by an officer with jet black hair, hazel eyes, and a full beard.
"Officer Young," the officer said looking at him.
"Deputy Armstrong, what's going on?" Keith asked.
He sighed heavily before saying, "A young woman and her baby were pronounced missing earlier today. After doing some digging and searching, we found them."
"October!" Ericka's voice sounded from somewhere behind the other officers.
I followed her voice until I found her standing next to the pillar with tears in her eyes and pale skin.
"Ericka, what happened?" I asked.
"I was going to check on her and Ryan and when I walked into her room, she was gone and there was no sign of Ryan. No one at the desk saw her leave and the window was open. I don't know why I didn't check to see if she was...you know. I guess it's a good thing I didn't," she whispered.
"What do you mean it's a good thing you didn't?" I asked trying to keep calm even though part of me already knew what she meant.
"Didn't they tell you?" she countered, tears spilling down her cheeks. "They found them both. She had jumped out of the window and had Ryan clutched to her chest. It was like she jumped with the intention of killing both her and Ryan, but at the last minute she flipped around so that she would suffer the impact."
My knees felt weak and I grabbed the wall to steady myself.
"What are you saying?" I asked.
"I'm saying Gia is dead, October!" she snapped.
The words hit me like a freight train and my legs collapsed underneath me. I found myself on my knees sobbing uncontrollably.
"No! No! NO!" I wailed as Ericka stood over me with tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I thought you said you got through to her!" she snapped when she was somewhat done crying.
"I...thought...I did," I whispered.
"Well it's obvious you didn't!" she snapped.
"October?" Keith's voice sounded behind me before I felt his hands on my back.
"Chet, can you get Ericka out of here?" Keith called to someone over his shoulder.
A few moments later, someone grabbed Ericka and steered her back inside of the hospital, leaving Keith and I alone in the same spot.
"October," he whispered helping me up. "It's okay."
"No!" I shouted. "It's not!"
He stared at me for a long moment before saying, "It wasn't your fault, babe. You did the best you could."
I shook my head and buried my face into my hands. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest as I started to sob again.
What was going to happen to Ryan? Was he alright? Was he even alive? Why did she do it?
"It's my fault!" I shouted. "I should've done something else! I could've..."
"There was nothing else you could've done!" Keith snapped pulling my face up so that I was staring deep into his eyes. "You did all you could."
I felt my lip quiver and before I could burst into tears again, he pulled me back against him and rubbed my back.
"It's okay, it's not your fault," he desperately tried to calm me down, but I was beside myself.
Ryan not only had to grow up without a father, but now he doesn't have a mother. He has no one. He's alone.
"Officer Young!" a female voice called and Keith let me go for a moment and turned around to face a blonde girl with icy eyes and thin lips. "You should get her out of here. It's not good for her to be here in this situation."
"I know, but what is going to happen to Ryan? His father is dead too. He has no one left," he said.
"We don't know if he's going to make it honestly. Even though Gia suffered most of the blow, they said he's in critical condition and they don't know if he's going to make it through the night."
My eyesight became blurry and it wasn't because of the new set of tears that were threatening to spill down my cheeks again.
No, this can't be happening. Everything was fine. Everything was just fine!
Everything became blurry and my body felt numb. I looked around desperately trying to find Keith's face, or anyone's face for that matter, but darkness quickly took over and the next thing I knew everything went black.