Kira (boyxboy)

Chapter 2

I feel like it was just a blink of an eye but 5 months have already gone by. I got a part-time job working at the town's mechanics shed and a job at the local diner. I make enough money to help mom reduce our living expenses. I take care of all of our food costs. Mom has been working particularly hard these past few months because she says she's in line to get a promotion soon. She keeps talking about how once she makes more money we're going to be living the high life. She's dreaming of moving into a better house that hopefully we can own rather than rent.

I wipe off the sweat and grime from the oil grease at the mechanics garage. I head home to take a hot shower and clean off the tiredness from my 2 jobs, school and housework. I have to pick up Rowan on the way from her friend's house. I get to their house and call for Rowan. She keeps begging to stay for longer but I'm firm and drag her home. She pouts and whines the entire way but quickly forgets about it when I set out some snacks for her. She starts to chatter about the AMAAAZING time she had at her friend's house and every little miniscule detail about her school day. I end up having to put a movie on for her on my laptop just to shut her up. I run up to shower and wash away the stress. As the hot water sprays against my skin I can feel my tense muscles relax. I'm completely recharged and ready to finish up the rest of the chores. I spend like 5 minutes on my school work. It's too simple anyways, I feel like I'm doing elementary school homework. I make dinner for Rowan and force her to go to her work before bed. I finally put her to bed and head to my own room. Our house is kind of small. My room is basically a small attic that I remodelled into a bedroom. I fall back onto the mattress and spread out my arms and legs allowing myself to laze.

My mind wanders to tomorrow morning and my sneaky pleasure. I've been arriving at school half an hour early just to sit beneath the window of the music room and listen to Aaron play. It feels like a secret that's just between us because I don't think anyone else in school knows that he plays. He always has this calm and peaceful expression on his face when he plays. It's like time just stops and we're surrounded by the quietness of the morning. It's early and there's no one else around, just us and his music. He found me listening to his music a month ago, and when he caught me I panicked. I had no idea what to do or say so I just stuttered with wide eyes like a deer in headlights. He first looked stunned and nervous but once he saw my expression he just burst out laughing. After like 15 minutes of laughing (I thought he might choke to death laughing) he looked up at me with tears of mirth in his eyes and a huge smile. He told me to come in and sit down. What was only his secret became a secret between us. It was almost an unspoken promise that I would come everyday to listen. This time I could actually go into the room without fear.

Over time we became friends, he would talk to me about things he said he couldn't mention to others. He has always been seen as some tough guy, but I found that he has a really soft heart. He loves music and art, but he couldn't indulge because it was seen as unmanly by his father and his friends from the sports clubs. They used to call the male artists, musicians and actors gay. His family is super homophobic and he doesn't seem very accepting either. If there's one thing I haven't told him it's that I'm gay. It's cowardly but I enjoy our time together and I don't want him to hate me. As each day passes my crush on him gets a little deeper. He's a sweet guy and he's really funny in an awkward way. He has this huge repertoire of dad jokes that make me crack up because of how lame they are. One day he looked at me and said, "how do you think a cow laughs?" he looked at me with wide-eyed childish excitement. I decided to play along and said, "I don't know. How?" He took a deep breath and with a mischievous look in his eyes he said, "moohahaha". He looked at me really eagerly to see my reaction and I couldn't bear to disappoint him so I let out some pity laughs. He looked really satisfied so I grinned, not regretting my decision at all. One downside is that our friendship is limited to those mornings. He doesn't really acknowledge me during the rest of the day. It's kind of awkward but I can't give up our moments.

I smile thinking about his childish quirks and close my eyes floating into sleep while looking forward to seeing him tomorrow morning.

I wake up refreshed and ready to experience the best part of my day. I rush through getting Rowan ready and sending her off to school. I feel like I'm almost levitating towards the music room, I always jump in through the window. I stick my head in through the window and see him wave me in with a grin. My heart skips a beat at his smile. The sunlight is streaming through the window and bathing him in a soft glow. His brown hair looks soft and tousled while his hazel eyes glimmer in the light. Our morning is filled with music and soft laughter permeates through the air. Time flies by too fast and our morning is over. I head to class and float through the day until our phys-ed class. I sit on the wall outside of the changing room with Joy. She gives me knowing looks whenever my eyes unfocus as if I'm thinking about something else. "Is this about Aaron?" she asks in a sing-song voice. I blush just hearing his name and look away from her. "Wh-wh-what are you talking about?" She snorts, "Oh please your crush gets more obvious every day. You get this far-away look every once in a while and suddenly slightly blush. Your gayness shines through every time you think about him." She snickers a little when my face gets redder and redder.

All of a sudden I hear a little cough and squeak behind me. I turn slowly, kind of terrified that we were heard. What I see makes my face go white. Aaron is standing there with a pale, panicked and slightly horrified face. He turns and walks really fast down the corridor. I get up and start to chase after him. "Wait! It's not what you think!" but he doesn't turn back. It's not a joke that he's a sports prodigy, no matter how fast I run I can't catch up to him and he disappears around the corner.

My heart beats really fast. I feel like I'm having a panic attack. "What the fuck am I going to do now?" I'm so screwed. Our friendship is most likely over and now he knows I'm gay...