The Essence of Water

NEW VERSION Chapter 23

"I'm not hungry."

Aiden has brought one of the chairs from the kitchen table and two bowls of soup. He holds out a spoon and bowl out to me, he doesn't say a word. He just stares at me and holds it out.

"I just want to sleep," I inform him.

He doesn't move so I sigh with frustration and take the bowl with my good hand. I place it into my lap and then snatch the spoon from him. We both stare at the bowl and spoon in my lap for twenty seconds before we realize that I can't feed myself. Aiden puts his own bowl down and takes mine from my lap. Carefully he dips the spoon into the soup and offers it to me after he blows on it gently to cool. My cheeks heat with embarrassment but I eat the soup anyway. It's hot, but not hot enough to burn my mouth. I swallow and he dips the spoon into the soup again and blows on it.

Like a small child Aiden patiently feeds me, spoonful by spoonful. He doesn't say a word, so I don't either. I want to apologize again, but I don't because he told me not to. Instead I show him I'm sorry by eating the soup despite my sour stomach and I don't complain. He doesn't look at me. He stares at the soup, the spoon, and my lips, but he doesn't look at me.

When the soup runs out he takes my empty bowl back to the kitchen then he comes back for his own bowl. "Go to sleep," he says and blows out the candles. He takes one of the pillows out from behind me and helps me get situated then walks away with his food.

"Aiden wait." His silhouette fills the doorway.

I'm sorry. "Will you stay with me?"

He turns slightly; his profile is just a shadow, all angles and no details.

"Please?" I add.

"Alright," he disappears again. I watch as he goes to the couch and sits down in front of the fire. He eats slowly and tends to the fire. My eyes drop and I take a deep breath and sink into the pillow.

I wake sometime later. The cabin is warm but dark. The fire has died down, which means Aiden must be sleeping. I reach out with my good hand, feeling along the mattress, but the bed is empty. Aiden didn't come. I let out a quiet sigh and pull my covers aside.

"Adie?" I jerk back, surprised.

"Yeah?" I reply. He's in the chair by the bed. He came, but he kept his distance. A part of me is angry and insulted the other part wishes he would just yell at me and get it over with. Strange how one mistake can cause a crack in the atmosphere and change everything. "I have to use the bathroom," I tell him, because I'm not sure what else I can say. I'm not sure what I should say.

I'm sorry.

"Do you need help?" he asks. Even his voice sounds tired.

"No I can manage." I'm sorry.

It takes me twice as long to use the bathroom but when I reemerge Aiden has stoked the fire to life and a dim light slowly creeps into the corners of the cabin. Aiden stares at the growing flames, his eyes are unfocused and he sways on his toes as he crouches. I'm worried he's about to pass out and fall face first into the fire.

"Aiden?" I ask.

He looks up at me for the first time in what feels like forever. "I'll be just a second."

I'm sorry. "Ok," I say.

I slip back into the bed and lay my head onto the pillow. But this time I'm determined not to fall asleep before Aiden returns. Instead I focus on the throbbing pain in my right arm. It helps me keep my eyes open. A few minutes later Aiden finally comes into the room. I can see it in the way he walks to the chair that he assumes I'm already asleep. His silhouette is quiet and careful where it steps. He doesn't want to wake me. I have a feeling that it isn't just because I need my rest either.