The Essence of Water

OLD VERSION Chapter 25

"I'm not hungry."

Aiden has brought one of the chairs from the kitchen table and two bowls of soup. He holds out a spoon and bowl to me, he doesn't say a word. He just stares at me and holds them out.

"I just want to sleep."

He blinks.

I take the bowl with my left hand and place it into my lap and then snatch the spoon from him.We both stare at the bowl and spoon in my lap for twenty seconds before we realize that I can't feed myself. "I can go eat at the table," I suggest.

He puts his bowl down and takes mine from my lap. Carefully he dips the spoon into the soup and offers it to me after he blows on it gently. My cheeks warm but I eat the soup. It's hot, but not hot enough to burn my mouth. I swallow and he dips the spoon into the soup again and blows on it.

Like a small child Aiden patiently feeds me, spoonful by spoonful. He doesn't say a word, so I don't either. I want to apologize again, but I don't, he told me not to. Instead I show him I'm sorry, I eat the bowl of soup despite my sour stomach and I don't complain. He doesn't look at me. He stares at the soup and the spoon, but he doesn't look at me.

When the soup runs out he takes my empty bowl back to the kitchen then he comes back for his own bowl. "Go to sleep," he says and blows out the candles. He takes one of the pillows out from behind me and helps me get situated then walks away.

"Aiden wait." His silhouette fills the doorway.

I'm sorry. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

He turns slightly; his profile is just a shadow, all angles and no features.

"Please?"

"OK." He disappears again. I watch as he goes to the couch and sits down in front of the fire. He eats slowly and tends to the fire. My eyes drops and I take a deep breath and sink into the pillow.

I wake sometime later. The cabin is warm but dark. The fire has died, which means Aiden is sleeping. I reach out with my left hand, feeling along the mattress, but the bed is empty. Aiden didn't come. I let out a quiet sigh and pull back my covers.

"Adie?" I jerk back, surprised.

"Yeah," I say. He's in the chair by the bed. He came, but he kept his distance. A part of me is angry and insulted the other part wishes he would just yell at me and be angry. Strange how one mistake can cause a crack in atmosphere and make such a change. "I have to use the bathroom," I say, because I'm not sure what else I can say. I'm not sure what I should say.

I'm sorry.

"Do you need help?" he asks. Even his voice sounds tired.

"No I can manage."

It takes me twice as long to use the bathroom but when I reemerge Aiden has stoked the fire and a dim light slowly creeps to the corners of the cabin. Aiden stares at the flames, his eyes are red and unfocused. He sways on his toes as he crouches, I'm worried he's about to pass out and fall face first into the fire.

"Aiden?"

He looks up at me for the first time in what feels like forever. "I'll be in, in just a second. I want to make sure the fire will catch before I leave it."

"OK," I say. I'm sorry.

I slip back into the bed and lay my head onto the pillow. But this time, I'm determined not to fall asleep. Instead I focus on the throbbing uncomfortable pain in my right arm. It helps me keep my eyes open. A few minutes later Aiden finally comes into the room. I can see it in the way he walks to the chair that he assumes I'm sleep. His silhouette is quiet and careful of where it steps. He doesn't want to wake me up. I have a feeling it isn't because I need my rest.