The Essence of Water

OLD VERSION Chapter 7

The sun is gone but the light remains. I stare at the underbellies of clouds and wait for everything to come rushing over me with overwhelming feelings. It doesn't, because I know exactly what happened, and I've already accepted it, just like I accepted the ocean and the river.

I sit up, my head pounds where it hit the ground and my arms ache from where Mr. Handler gripped me. They are still passed out, the road is silent. I'm lucky no one's passed by and seen us. I get to my feet, leaning heavily on the car I manage to get to the driver's side. I know better than to steal the car, but I take the keys and I throw them as hard as I can over the stone wall and into the field. I find the button to open the truck and get my bag. I swing it onto my back and tighten the straps. Then I take a deep breath and accept what I'm about to do.

I'm about to run.

I'm about to condemn myself from ever having a normal life. Misfits who run, they don't get a chance for a normal life. They are hunted, they are exiled. But what life do I have if I go willingly? I look at the Handlers. They wanted to drug me, and it wasn't caring I saw in their eyes it was fear and aggression. They talk about treatments and diagnoses but no one has ever been deemed a Misfit and seen again. We disappear. I look to the road. I'd rather take my chances.

So I run.

I let go of emotion and thought. I breathe and exhale when my feet hit the road. When my lungs stitch I slow to a walk. Darkness overtakes everything. The temperature drops and my breathe swirls out in front of me. A light shines behind me and I turn to look, there is a car headed towards me, moving slowly through the darkness and turns of the country road. The lights are too far off the ground to be a car, so I'm confident that it's not the Handlers. I suck in a sharp breath and say it aloud.

"Handlers." My eyes widen. Of course, that man and woman weren't actually married. Their names weren't actually Mr. and Mrs. Handler. They are Handlers. Men and woman sent to scout out and collect Misfits like me. No wonder they were so alert and on edge, they'd been trained to expect something like this. I look at my hands, they were expecting it...

The truck pulls over the small hill and I stick out my hand and wave it down. The truck slows and the driver's side window rolls down. "You need a lift or something?" A woman with gray hair sticks her head out.

I squint against the lights and nod, "I'm just headed to town if you're going that way."

"Sure, hop in the back." She sticks her thumb back towards the bed of the truck and rolls her window back up. I swing my bag up first and jump in. The cold hair lifts my hair and slips down my neck. I pull my knees close to my chest and burry my nose in them. It feels like it takes a longer amount of time to get back to town then it did when we left. But when the truck stops outside the gas station I thank the woman and start running again.

I know it's a bad decision, but I'm going home. I know the Handlers will come here; it's the first place they'll expect me to go. It's the only familiar place I've lived. But I'm not staying, I tell myself that over and over as I run. Get some supplies, keep running, get supplies, run, supplies, run, supplies, run, supplies, run.

When I finally make it the sky is rumbling with a threat of rain. I pray it comes soon. I step up to the darkened house and slowly open the back door. It's always left unlocked. Henry always said Jack and Missy would take care of any intruders, and if there's an emergency at the barn Henry could never be bothered to mess with locks.

The door squeaks and Jack start barking and growling. "Jack! Shush, it's only me." I whisper harshly. I hear his nails hit the floor as he gets out of his bed and then his nose is at my feet and then his tongue is on my hand.