The Essence of Water

OLD VERSION Chapter 11

I can only guess how much time passes. I spend so much time under drugs and hallucinations and darkness that it's hard to know. But it must be at least two weeks by now.

But it's my mind I'm worried about. I've not been able to connect to water since after the fight with the betrayer. Not even the water in my own blood responds. I'm alone, for the first time since running from Henry's I'm completely on my own. It scares me more than I'd like to admit. And what's more, at night, my dreams have begun to fade, my memories grown duller. It's as though my body has begun to forget the colors of the world and the light of the sky or the warmth of the sun. It's fading away. And I can do nothing to stop it. I'm losing energy. I hate that I'm losing energy. Two weeks, maybe more, maybe less, but still, I expected to be better than this, to survive longer, to endure, to be stronger.

But this place, it has a way of sucking the life from me. The atmosphere and the mood, day after day is slowly soaks past my skin and into my soul. There is no hope. Sometimes in the stillness I hear others screaming, in a sick way it's good to know I'm not alone, but then it makes me realize that I am just one person,with so many others trapped here, why should I be any different? Why should I be the one to escape this fate?

I start to lose moments in time. One moment I'll be in the lab or in my cell and the next I'm being escorted somewhere. I can't recall certain things. Slowly and steadily, my mind is slipping away. But what scares me more. Is that I'm letting it. I'm not fighting to remember, I want to forget, I want to be ignorant. I want the bliss that comes with being drugged. It is easier than remembering, easier than pain.

So I drift.

I forget.

I give in.

I let go.

A sweet voice sings to me, her voice soft and soothing. I wish I could listen forever. My vision is still gone and everything is dark. But somehow it's warm. I hear a strong heartbeat in my ears. I'm not sure it's mine.

"She's too young." A male's voice finally interrupts. He sounds irritated and desperate at the same time.

"I feel something, and we can't afford not to try." Is her reply, she sounds calmer, more sure of herself. Their voices are familiar and soothing, like old friends long forgotten.

"What happens if it doesn't work? Then everything we've done will have been for nothing." His voice was so beaten sounding. I wondered what he was so worried about, and how the woman could sound so calm while he so frantic.

"No, not nothing," she soothed, "everything we do is for her. Even if our attempts come to nothing in the end, at least we tried. All we can hope for is that she will grow strong, and live a peaceful life. Perhaps things will change; we do not hold the power to see the future. No one does, but we do hold power, so we must try, we must do something. This is our only hope that our daughter has to know us, for us to speak to her and guide her. So we must."

"And if we die before we can be of any help?"

She sighs, "Then she'll have your strength and my personality to help her..."

There is silence for a few moments, "And your looks..." The male says hopeful.

She chuckles and then she starts to sing again. It is a lullaby, one I've never heard before, but I find myself yawning, content.

My neck jerks back and my body bails water. Where am I? Darkness. Black. I cough but the water is gone, air fills my lungs. My body is soaked, cold, and shaking. My hands are bound behind my back. Where am I? Damn it, what is going on?