Justification | Deetranada AU

maelstrom

Jae leans her head against JI's car window, her mind in a million places. She looks down at her arms, the bruises still visible despite her attempts to heal them faster. She sighs, pulling her sleeves down to avoid looking at them.

JI peeks over for a moment, her neutral expression hiding the flurry of tears it held just a few moments ago. The thought makes him tighten his grip on the steering wheel, wishing it was Roscoe's face.

"Can you tell me the truth, Jae?" he asks, maintaining an even tone despite his frustration. "He don't hit me," she replies as if she knew what he wanted to know. "He just like, grab me sometimes, today was the first time he pushed me though."

"Pushed you?" he says through gritted teeth.

 "It wasn't--" she attempts. 

"He pushed you, so it was. That's what happened to your back, isn't it?"

She looks down, shame written all over and he stops, his growing rage traded for pain. The hurt on her face was transparent and he knew his added anger would only make her feel worse. Instead, he silences himself, letting the car be a place of refuge for her without mention of him, of today, of the pain he caused her.

Jae closes her eyes in the silence, reimagining the scene she saw. She knew his car from anywhere and he always played the same music while driving making him more recognizable. But the girl, she couldn't place her. She was trying to get a better look when she spotted JI and by the time she looked back, the two were kissing.

"Don't think about it," JI urges. "He's stupid as fuck..." She pretends to listen, feeling the vibration in her pocket and knowing it could only be one person. She lets it go until it stops, pulling it out of her pocket, clearing the notification of his missed call only for a text to come through. It reads: Baby, I'm picking you up in an hour. Practice let out late and I gotta shower.

She doesn't reply, tucking her phone back in her pocket and resuming her sad stare. Her thoughts are slow moving, going from one to the other as she tries to figure out her blame. But as excuse after excuse comes to her mind, she can't accept the blame, not this time.

She sighs, focusing her gaze to see that they're nearly at her house. She tugs at her sleeves more, stretching them enough to keep them down and avoid anything being seen.

JI watches as she does, sympathy filling him as she tries to hide the evidence of her troubled relationship. "Are you going to tell your mom?" he questions, unsure if he should ask. 

"She'd kill him," Jae whispers, shaking her head. "Somebody needs to," he replies bitterly.  "I'll tell her--"

"No, no," she interjects. "I'll tell her." 

"Tonight."

"Tonight," she repeats lowly. Despite her somber tone, she knew it was the right thing to do. 

JI pulls into the driveway and parks the car, turning toward her and staring at the shell of a person before him. He resists the urge to reach out and comfort her, her hands held tightly against her chest closing her off from the world. Instead, he sighs, scratching his head as he tries to find the right words. 

"You gon' be good?" he asks, regretting it as the words leave his mouth, cursing himself for being inconsiderate. But she nods in response, her arms never leaving their folded position. "You sure?" he questions.

"Promise," she whispers.

"I don't want promises, Jae," he sighs. "I want you to be okay."

Jae nods, looking up and attempting to relax her body. It doesn't work, her discomfort obvious. "I'll be o-okay," she says, her voice shakey despite the confidence she puts behind it. Her phone vibrates again and she feels her heart quicken, knowing he's waiting on a response.